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First sentance dilema



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Sat Nov 04, 2006 5:15 pm
carelessaussie13 says...



I have this story in which a girl is sitting in an inn, alone and sad. Nothing is really happening and somehow I need to hook the audience. I have been trying fo rthe past half hour to come up with a decent first sencance and they all sound boring to the umpteenth degree. Help! :?
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Sat Nov 04, 2006 6:07 pm
Cassandra says...



Half an hour? Seriously?

My suggestion? Just write a sentence down. I don't care if it hooks the reader. I don't care if it's half-way decent. Just get that first sentence done and out of the way. Then move onto the next sentence. And the next one. Because if there are more important things--getting the story written, for example--than getting that first sentence perfect the first draft. You'll hear people say it over and over again, but no first draft is perfect.

Repeat after me: I can always go back and edit.

:D
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Sat Nov 04, 2006 6:44 pm
aeroman says...



Haha, I know exactly what you're going through! Personally, I'm very big on having the perfect beginning. The beginning is what makes the reader buy or put down your story. (Pretty important, isn't it?) The first line has an even bigger weight on it, because that is the first thing the reader is going to read. Oh no! Now I'm stressed! :D But don't worry the first line is pretty simple.

I'm going to start off with talking about the first couple of paragraphs, because generally readers will at least read that much into your story before deciding whether they want to keep reading. The questions a reader is asking is...

-What's this story about?
-Why do I care?
-Who's the main character?
-And finally the most important question! Why should I keep reading?

The second and the last are by far the most important questions to get answered for the reader a.s.a.p. So now, how do we do that? Well in a story what I personally like to do is create an 'initial disturbance', something that will immediately catch the reader's attention. You drop a line, hook the reader, and then sink them into the story.

Some writers like to make the initial disturbance in the first line. So lets talk about what creates an initial disturbance. (I assume you've already figured out your main character) An initial disturbance is something out of the ordinary, something that will conflict with the 'Main Character's World'. Sounds pretty fun right? That's cause it is!

The first line disturbance is popularly used and I will give you a few examples...

-The car slid across the ice, careening dangerously atop the cliff.

-A cop walked sullenly up the front steps, head down.

-Ring.
"Damn it, who is calling at 3 a.m.?"

These are just some examples off the top of my head, but what I would suggest is that you sit down thinking about your story, and just start writing possible one liners that will create a disturbance that would make the reader want to go further into the story. But you don't have to do the whole 'one liner thing'.

You can hook them within the first paragraph or couple of paragraphs as long as you create movement within the story. If you're going to start off by describing how depressed or sad this character of yours is, make sure you're still moving the story forward in a way that causes a disturbance in the 'Main Character's World'.

Hopefully this helped, I tend to ramble a bit :wink: Good luck!

~Aero
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Sun Nov 05, 2006 4:20 am
Snoink says...



Just continue writing! I know it sounds hard (I hate bad opening sentences too) but you just have to grit your teeth and just keep writing. Remember, anyone can write a good opening scene, but not everyone can write a good novel. When you prepare for publication, then you can worry about good opening lines. For now? You're fine... just worry about the story. It'll all sort itself in the end, promise. :)
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Sun Nov 05, 2006 5:07 am
Wiggy says...



What aero said. And Snoink and Cass. :D

Good luck!
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Sun Nov 05, 2006 5:22 am
Jennafina says...



Sometimes it helps me to write starting at the second sentence and go back and write the first one later. Just leave an extra big indent, or make a line like this: _______. I wouldn't stress about it on a first draft.
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Sun Nov 05, 2006 5:44 am
Trident says...



Hmmm... perhaps you could use the fact that there is nothing going on to your advantage. Maybe try and hook your audience with something they could relate to.

"She pitied herself. It was only natural for her to do so. Sitting in that sad, lonely inn, she could do nothing but."

Eventually you'll come up with something.
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Sun Nov 05, 2006 1:38 pm
Fishr says...



Or instead of stressing on it, take a break. Blocks are a pain but sometimes when someone is so focused on a single line, let alone an entire paragraph, the project actually becomes harder.

Hey, I've been sitting on a Block for almost four weeks, so yeah, I know how frustrating it can be. Fortunately for me, I think it's wearing off...

I also find that if I'm really struggling, a good book relaxes me, and sometimes entices my creative juices again.

Good luck!
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