Young Writers Society

For death? PG for death? Maybe! Blame Jack for its placement, he said I could put this here. The NaNo board on the literary forum doesn't appear to be much looked-at, so I thought I'd try here? Thank you!

My plot, as vague as it gets.

Once upon a time, there was an ancient god. The First God, who took the form of a dragon. Cliche, but that's all right. This Dragon created two races. The first race was the (name removed). This race was a peaceful one, able to manipulate and amplify the magics around them. For the amplification, think sunlight through a magnifying glass.

The second race was the elves, though they're not like Tolkien's. Think more like the D&D druid. The elves kept to themselves a lot and had little or nothing to do with the (race), which suited them fine. Many years passed by, and the New Gods showed up.

These gods saw a world that was very raw, very untamed, and sought to tame it with their own creations. Their power wasn't as great as that of the Dragon, but they created their own races. Human, naga, centaur, minotaur, etc etc. Anything to try and out-do the Dragon god, to show him up and get him to turn his world over to these new gods.

But he didn't. He just kept watch over the elves and the (race). But as the years went by, the New Gods' creations multiplied a -lot- faster than the Dragon's. The Dragon began to grow a little weaker with each generation. The (race) die at a young age because of this magic amplification, and the elves just don't breed very quickly, though they don't live for thousands and thousands of years.

Well, as the Dragon grew weaker, the New Gods found a way to kill the (race). They were the only ones keeping the New Gods from really taking control of the faith of the world. The elves were, as said, reclusive. They tended to stay in their forests, rain forests, etc. So the New Gods didn't view them as a threat.

The New Gods sent their races nearest to the populations of the (race) to dispose of them. Many did. Some of the older (race) took out some of the New Gods' people as they died, when the pent-up magic was released. By this time, the Dragon was already mostly forgotten, having dug himself into the earth to even remain in existence, since it had created the world. A mountain range had grown over it. It was too weak to help the (race).

The New Gods opened the earth on one continent, sending the (race) to their deaths. In others, their own races finished them off.

The bad guy, I would really like to be a tragic villain. Hubby gave me a really good idea last night, too. Well, the (race) are being reborn randomly as more people rediscover the "old ways". It looks more like a genetic deformality. White skin, white hair with purple hairs mixed in, purple eyes. It isn't race-specific, so even a centaur could potentially be a (race), now, as the Dragon gains more power and is able to manipulate the New Gods' creations.

Well, the villain is a follower of one of the new gods, and sees these (race) as a threat. His sister was born as one of these. In their society, she was supposed to be killed the moment she was born, but the villain tried to save her. The rest of the tribe found out and killed her anyway.

The villain was marked as a traitor. But traitors aren't banished. They're kept in the family, but people almost act like they're not there, which is worse, I think.

Well, the villain thinks that if he goes into the world on his own and kills off the (race), that his honor will be restored, which would make him a tragic villain, I hope. So that his family will view him as a person, rather than something less.

He's more misguided than evil, though from the sounds of it, he'll gradually grow a little more evil as the story progresses. Like burning down a whole home, killing the entire family, just to get at the one member that happened to be a (race) inside.

The main characters (good guys, so to speak) are triplets. Two girls and a boy. The boy is born as a (race), so that's how they tie in to the villain.

Thanks to a friend of mine and his deductive reasoning, and my wonderful husband for his suggestion on the tribe in the first place, I got it down to the villain going around and hunting these (race) at first to restore his place in the tribe and reclaim his honor. Eventually, it'll mutate into his extermination of these (race) simply for that end. To kill them all. Maybe he blames them for making his sister turn out how she did?

He'll be making his own choices, rather than be a product of his society or upbringing. I won't be the one to force -that- square peg into the round hole!

I'm not really looking for "omg that's dum" or anything. If you don't like it, I respect that. I just want to know if you can find any gaping holes. As for where the gods come from? The same place the Christian God comes from. Who knows...

Thank you!

Well, this is a rough plot outlining you have here. Currently, I don't really see any "gaping holes" you're worried about, at least where the meat of the story is.

As to the part about the gods. I don't mean to be cynical, rude, or deragatory to anyone religiously devoted, but you don't need a great deal of logic when dealing with gods. After all, that's really what faith is, the belief in a higher force that explains what we cannot. At least that's my view on it. I don't think you need to go into where they come from, what you have already seems logical enough as far as gods go. Only one question (or two)I have that you might want to look at. Why was the dragon god, the first one, growing weaker? And why is he now regaining his power? You might want to touch on this if this backstory is included in the main peice. If not, then you'll just need to vuagely elude to why, seeing as how the gods seem like they will play a major role, directly or not.

Well, hope that helps, and good luck on your story.

Roaming Shadow wrote:Only one question (or two)I have that you might want to look at. Why was the dragon god, the first one, growing weaker? And why is he now regaining his power?

1) He was growing weaker as the generations wore on because the races he created bred more slowly and the (race) died sooner than most others. So, as the new gods' races were populating more quickly, they gained more believers. Kind of like how the Greek gods are "myths" while the Bible is "theology"? Gods, in my world, grow weaker as more people forget about them or don't pay homage to them. So the Dragon God is growing weaker because the New Gods' creations simply outnumber his own. So he's being forgotten.

2) He's regaining power because more of the New Gods' creations are "rediscovering the old ways" kind of like that massive neopagan movement recently? Like that. So, the more people that return to the Dragon God, the stronger this god becomes. Because of that, the Dragon God can manipulate only a few of the New Gods' creations, making his own (race) be reborn so he can start to gain power and overtake the New Gods.

Thank you so much for reading. I know it's kind of long.

Well, it seems like you've got this pretty well thought out. So, I don't see any logic gaps as of yet, and with the logical thought being put into this so far, I doubt you'll have any trouble on that front. Still, better safe than sorry I suppose. Again, have fun on that story.

P.S.
Long? You think this is long? This is nothing, in my opinion at least. It didn't seem long reading it. Trust me, I've been commented on for the lengths of my posts, namely Chronicles of Hunter: Origins. Heh, that one was a bit long. Okay, more than a bit. Anyway, once again, have fun writing it. That's one of the most important parts.

Thank you so much. You've helped me a lot. I know that asking for critique can sometimes be viewed as "tell me how great I am!" but I really do thank you for your honesty.

I'm trying to write for myself and for people that like the same thing I do. It's hard to try not to please everyone, though. I try not to ask myself "Would everyone want to read this?"

Because no, they wouldn't!

I like what you've come up with and sorry I can't be much of a help. It should be interesting to write and good luck with it.

Right now, it's okay. But most likely, during writing, you'll create plot holes. But that's for Nanoedmo, no?

Good luck!