Topic ID: 9878
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Chandni
Peace, Love and Magic. Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 30 Nov 2005 Posts: 429 Reviews: 176 Country: Netherlands Antilles 300 Points
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 11:38 pm Post subject: My Dear Holly... |
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I thought it would be fun if I'd post my poem handwritten, as in a picture
Holly is refered to Holland If someone Dutch would read this-or someone very familiar with Holland-, he'd quite understand everything, most of you aren't Dutch so, I'll have some explaining to do... "Wooden Shoes" are typical Dutch shoes, and are wooden, mostly worn on farms. "Venco-drop" is Holland's best Lycorish maker, and Dykes ar those used to keep Holland from being under water, since Holland has no mountains Hope that will do:)
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_________________ I will sing it to the sky,
there's a risk it won't reply
if I could change it then I would,
I won't screw it up this time.
-Maps |
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Cassandra
Procrastinator Extrordinare Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 27 Apr 2006 Posts: 1420 Reviews: 161 Country: Los Estados Unidos 300 Points
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 11:52 pm Post subject: |
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First off, this is a really neat idea. And you have really pretty handwriting.
Second, and more importantly, the poem: obviously I can't totally understand the poem because I've never been to Holland, but the emotions I feel in this poem definitely make me want to go there! Throughout the entire piece I can feel how much you love this place, and that's excellent. All the imagery used....just wow. GREAT work. |
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Mamma-Alexandria
Novice

Gender:  Age: 21 Joined: 31 Aug 2006 Posts: 8 Reviews: 2 Country: USA 300 Points
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Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 8:44 pm Post subject: |
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| The imagery was nice. I could imagine myself in Holland, using all of my senses. Truly wonderful. It sounds beautiful and it really gives off the love you have for this beautiful land. |
_________________ Love the life your given. Make it count for all it's worth. Try to see a blessing in everything. |
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Rei
E.A. Extraordinaire Epic Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 23 Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 3140 Reviews: 685 Country: Canada 300 Points
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Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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Like Alex said, it's a wonderful piece and it's easy to imagine yourself in Holland when you read it. It's the kind of poem you really want to listen to, rather that just reading it, so you can properly enjoy the images and sounds. Excellent word-choices.
Just a note: It's better to let a poem speak for itself. If people are unclear about something, explain after. It's not necessary to explain half of it before people even read the poem. |
_________________ Please, sit down before you fall down.
Belloq, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" |
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Sohini
Her Meowness Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 25 Sep 2005 Posts: 1030 Reviews: 406 Country: ... my ink-splotched dreams 274 Points
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Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 10:22 am Post subject: |
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wow, grand idea and neat handwriting.
i loved this poem, the flow is so unique and i tell you while reading this i can feel your love for Holland. the words are chosen very well and they seem to create a magicl feeling about the place.
do you think that the line about soccer could be better written as "soccer stays it doesn't change pace"? |
_________________ Team Edward.
'Cuz Jacob doesn't sparkle. |
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