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40 Winks
40 Winks

by Palantalid in Lyric Poetry
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Lyrics

This thread was created on January 20, 2005
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Blue Lights (lyrics) (over 13)

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Firestarter   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 6:42 pm    Post subject: Blue Lights (lyrics) (over 13) Reply with quote

blue lights
streaming across the night sky
dominating the city
an ominous signal of desire
you are on fire
you are on
f i r e

i wish i could say
that everything's under control
just another day
of rock and/or roll
deep breath
before the plunge
tear out my heart
listen to the lyrics
of a song i wrote
driving in my car
wind in my hair
funky indie riffs.

blue lights
twirling in front of my eyes
kaleidoscope lady
i didn't take too much
you are dying
you are
d e a d

crazy remix dance
extravaganza
yeh yeh yeh
it's all your fault
i didn't touch it
this time
just don't look back
i'll be gone
before then...

blue lights
they've gone, can't see them anymore
that fucking geezer
stole my wallet
i am on fire
i am on
f i r e

i am dying
i am dying
i am dying
yeh yeh yeh

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yeah, we might die from medication
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Last edited by Firestarter on Sun Jan 23, 2005 1:20 am; edited 2 times in total
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Sam   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 9:52 pm    Post subject: RE Reply with quote

i thought it was very lyrical. Very Happy The yeh yeh yeh's don't really look as cool on paper as what they sound like in song. I really liked this one, no crit. Very Happy All you need is some good music now to go with it!

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 4:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow...this was really good. A lot of times when reading lyrics, they can be very redundant, but these weren't at all. It was fun to read. I liked it. :Two thumbs up:

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 1:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's great, jack Mr. Green

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 1:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's better than I could...which isn't exactly saying much...It's grrrreat!

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 6:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"funky indie riffs"--- You rock my world Fire.

One suggestion to change the second stanza, because you have an accidental rhyme scheme. I think one set of rhyming lines is fine, but maybe you could change
Quote:
i wish i could say
that everything's under control

to "i wish i could say
that everything's as it should be" or something to that effect.
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 6:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The "guest" message is actually me, i just wasn't logged in and was being confused by the new layout. so yeah.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 6:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hewhehehehehehe 'geezer'


Anonymous wrote:
"funky indie riffs"--- You rock my world Fire.

One suggestion to change the second stanza, because you have an accidental rhyme scheme. I think one set of rhyming lines is fine, but maybe you could change
Quote:
i wish i could say
that everything's under control

to "i wish i could say
that everything's as it should be" or something to that effect.


I reckon it should stay as under control, its more 'rockish'

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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2005 8:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow

oh my god, it's freakin KICK ASS

wow

I have a whole tune for this in my head, jack

you rock, hon, seriously, this is amazing, i love the whole indie feel to it- totally awesome

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