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This thread was created on July 30, 2006
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I spy. Goto page Previous 1, 2
Topic ID: 9277
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Kitty15
The Protector of the Prophecy
Writer of Legend
Gender: 
Age: 18
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 5350
Reviews: 1324
Country: England
1206 Points
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 Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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| 'I don't want to hear it' rather than 'I don't want to here it' but this is really old so... yeah. It's great though. I love the two characters. They're both so stupid and I found this rather amusing so good job. |
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Lest hope corrupt your foolish heart,
quick cast her out and let depart
the acrid whims of angel's wings
which clutch at twisted puppet strings. |
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graesch666
Junior Writer
Gender: 
Age: 18
Joined: 24 Aug 2007
Posts: 19
Reviews: 13
Country: France
300 Points
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| Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 10:54 am Post subject: Re: I spy. |
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I totally agree with Lexi. The feeble end spoils the whole script. That's really frustrating. I mean, it should end there :
| Emma wrote: |
Jamie: Now this explains why the car key wouldn't open the door...
Bob: I think so... |
That would be perfect this way, it stands as a good and hilarious punchline, no need to disapoint your reader by adding this utterly useless ( and not even funny) end.
Well, that's only a suggestion ^^ |
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| This thread was created on July 30, 2006 |
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Bartemius says, I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I'm frightened of old ones. - John Cage
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