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Stop and Stare ~ Part Eleven
Charlie
“You’re kidding?” I let out a groan. “You made me come all the way here just to ask me if I fancied having a fricking tutor thing.” I glanced at Zoey. “No offence to your mum or anything.”
“Hey, I think it’s lovely of me to have asked Zoey about it for you.” Austin tapped my arm. “It’s not easy being this awesome, you know. You should appreciate it.”
I’d left my dad in one of his whacked out states, skipped buying some new strings for my guitar and postponed buying some food for the house, just so that Austin could try and get me to join some dodgy homeschool club? To begin with, Austin must have been able to hear my old man sounding like a raving lunatic when he was on the phone to me. Why hadn't he got the message and ditched this idea? One that I now knew was a pretty damn stupid one anyway. Like hell would I want anything to do with some homeschool club.
I glanced at the long rug that looked as though it was eating up the floor of Zoey’s hallway before looking back up at Austin and Zoey herself. “I may as well be off then.”
“Awww, come on, mate!” Austin grabbed my arm before I could move. “Please?”
I knew there was more to this homeschooling business in Austin’s mind than just my education. If he seriously thought this was a brilliant way of getting--no, forcing--me to hook up with Zoey, then he was delusional. I’d told him already that the last thing I wanted to worry about now was girls. Besides, he didn’t actually think Zoey was the slightest bit interested, did he? It was unbelievable that Zoey was even willing to speak to me again after the way she saw me behave outside Vertigo. I seriously thought she’d never want anything to do with me again: another reason why this homechooling business was an awful idea.
"Just hear me out?" Austin's voice was spiced with a pleading tone.
I paused. "Fine," I muttered.
"You got dumped by that college 'cause you suck at Maths and English, right?" he said before I nodded. "That sucks like hell 'cause they have sod all to do with music, and you're epic at music anyway. Plus, that idiot brother of yours is gonna go there after summer, which probably means the place sucks anyway, but yeah, that's beside the point." Austin sighed. "C'mon, mate."
The only reason Will was going to go there was because of my dad paying for it, but I guess Austin was right. I hardly wanted to go to the same school as my brother. I had a small think about the homeschooling, but didn't bother to take my thoughts very far. Sighing, I shook my head lightly. No, no it was a bad idea. I’d only embarrass myself, in the end. I’d probably fail the A-Level anyway. Besides, it would just be another heavy load on my mind.
“No, look, I’ve really gotta get back.” I tried to pull myself away, but Austin wasn’t having any of it. “Sod off!” I yanked his arm off me.
Austin rolled his eyes, which brought my attention to the dark bags under them. He still wasn’t sleeping then. There was a slight comfort in seeing Austin like this. Over the past month, it felt like the rest of the world had forgotten about that night besides me. It was old news now in my neighbourhood, Jax hadn't said anything about it, and Austin was acting as though it never even happened. The physical state of him clearly thought otherwise though. I knew him well enough to know that even if he did anything but show it, the events of that night were digging into his skull just like they were for me. I cursed under my breath. I was letting my mind wander again.
I was about to reach out for the front door when Zoey stopped me. “Please?" There was a soft smile on her face. "Look, just speak to my mum, okay? She’ll tell you how everything works, and then you can decide if you want to do it. Just talk, that’s all...”
I lowered my hand from the doorknob. Zoey hadn’t really said much until now, although it was pretty hard to get a word in edgeways anyway when you were with Austin. I turned back around to look at her carefully. She blinked over her doll-like eyes as her gentle smile grew. There it was again. That familiarity. I dug my teeth into my lip, partly from annoyance. It was as though my head was yelling at me, letting me know who Zoey reminded me of, but every other part of my body was refusing it to actually process.
Maybe this homeschooling thing wasn’t such a bad idea... I doubt I’d see Zoey much anyway, so if I was paranoid about Austin forcing us together or whatever, then I guess that would sort that problem out. I thought back to what Austin said. The thought of being able to actually get an A-Level in music another way besides college was tempting. Besides, I would like to at least give getting an A-Level a shot. It would help distract me from... other things too. That was part of the plan with that college anyway. I wanted it to keep my mind off things I knew were turning my blood sour. Homeschooling would have worked just as well, I guess.
“Please...?” Zoey tried again.
What the heck, right?
“Just a chat, right?” I replied, sighing. Zoey nodded. “Fine, but I’ve gotta be back in half an hour, okay?”
“Don’t worry, it won’t take long.” Zoey took a couple of steps deeper into the hallway, peeked into one of the rooms on the right side, then came back to us. “She’s speaking to someone at the moment, but I doubt she’ll be long.”
“Alright, I can wait.” I sat down on the wooden staircase that was a few inches away from the front door. “Well, not for long, but you get the idea.”
“No, sit on the carpeted area,” Zoey said quickly.
I looked down at the step I was sitting on to see a velvet carpet running down the stairs beside my jeans. I was sitting on the white wood of the step rather than the carpet, and as I looked up to see a sour expression on Zoey’s face, I felt the need to shuffle to the left and sit on the red material. Austin glanced at her with an amused expression on his face.
"Hey, how come you're here anyway, Aust?" I asked.
"I was in Tescos looking for some of that pineapple juice stuff I like--you know the kind--and then I bumped into Zoey. I got a lift from her brother, but I think he only offered me the lift so he could keep an eye on me though. I swear he thinks I'm gonna attack Zoey or something. But yeah, bam, here I am." Austin paused. "Err, I can go though, if you want."
"Nah, don't, it's alright,” I muttered in reply.
I rested my head on the wall beside me as my eyes strolled around the hallway I was in. My hallway was the size of a midget's wardrobe compared to this. The walls were covered with paintings of a number of animals, and there seemed to be what looked like two tribal masks that were hanging just outside the door Zoey had peeked into. Weirdly though, there weren't any family portraits. Mind you, my house was hardly covered in pictures of me, my dad, or Will. There definitely weren't any of Mum. As stupid as I was, I was smart enough to know that not every family was all that similar to mine though. I'd always assumed most families did have family portraits, or at least one or two photos around. There were probably some in another room or something. Except for the staircase I was sitting on, the hallway was pretty bare when it came to furniture.
Austin was about to speak again, but he was stopped by the sound of a door opening. All three of us turned to the room Zoey had previously spied into to see some kid and a rather old woman wandering out. The kid handed a pile of papers that were in his hand to the woman I guessed was his mother, which followed by him requesting a visit to McDonalds on the way home.
"That's your cue, I think," Zoey said to me as the mother and son passed us and opened the front door. Once they'd left, she spoke again. "Follow me." She flicked her hand towards the door.
I stood up, and soon enough, Austin and I were following Zoey towards the room. As we neared the door, I felt my chest tighten and my stomach roll. What if I made myself look like an idiot? I had a tendency to do that. What if her mum didn’t even want to speak to me considering I'd just turned up without any warning? Oh, crap. What if she just didn’t like me? Stop getting so paranoid, you prick. I blinked slowly. The worst that could happen would be that she'd say no. Keeping that thought in mind, I entered the room along with Zoey and Austin.
By the looks of it, we were in some sort of office. The walls were a cream colour, kind of plain, but they were decorated with large paintings that were similar to the ones outside, and there was a spotless mirror above what looked like an untouched fireplace. Pretty darn clean, that was for sure. Although, I was hardly expecting any different considering I was in Zoey's place. I could just imagine the state she'd be in if she saw my house. I found myself smirking at the thought.
I turned to the end of the room to see two long, leather sofas facing each other, and in-between those sofas was a round coffee table. On the sofa to the right, there was a woman that held the exact same features as Zoey. The only difference was that those features had aged, and the blue eyes Zoey also owned were sagged down at their corners.
"Oh, hello!" she said rather eagerly. She smiled at the three of us. "Is one of you Oliver Holden? I thought he'd cancelled..." She began scanning through some papers.
"No, Mum," Zoey replied before I could. "They're actually my friends, Charlie and Austin, but." She gestured for me to step forward, so I did so. "Charlie wants to know about your homeschooling, so I thought you'd maybe have time to speak to him because Luke said a couple of people have probably cancelled."
Zoey's mum looked up at me, then narrowed her eyes. Her head tilted to the side along with her earrings that were two waterfalls of golden feathers. She pressed her thin lips together and the room was silent while her gaze remained fixed onto me. Her stares were warm and I could tell they were meant to be kind, but I couldn’t help feeling on edge as her eyes dug into mine. She was a fragile looking woman, but the layers of clothes on her back seemed to be able to bulk her up. A grin spread across her round face. I glanced at Austin and he looked just as weirded out as me.
"Charlie Black?" Zoey's mum finally spoke again.
How did she know my surname? Once again, I turned to Austin whose eyes were now wide. He raised his eyebrows at me as though he was waiting for an explanation to come from my lips. The thing was, I didn't actually have one. I was just as freaked out as he was. I turned back to the small woman at the other end of the room and nodded slowly.
"Gosh, you're the splitting image of Maddie, aren't you?"
My heart froze.
"Mum, you know him?" Zoey asked the question that was racing through my mind.
"Sorry, you probably have no idea who I am, do you, lovely?" Zoey's mum laughed as an array of necklaces around her thin neck jingled. Her voice was high and it echoed with joy, but I couldn't help but feel as though it was almost put on. She turned to the three of us before nodding at the sofa opposite her. "Come sit down."
I hesitated, but decided to do what she said. Zoey made her way over to her mum, and stopped when she reached the sofa while Austin and I followed. Austin glanced at me again as though he expected me to have somehow finally realised how this woman knew me. The more I gazed at her, the louder the bell in my head rung, but I was still clueless. I shrugged in response and we were soon sitting down on the smooth sofa.
"I'm Zoey's mum as you probably know, but just call me Sophie." Zoey's mum held out her hand for Austin to shake, and then moved on to shake my hand.
"Sophie Cardle..." I muttered.
"Ah, so you do remember me a bit." Her voice was smooth. "Yeah, your mother and I used to be such great friends. Gosh, the last time I saw you, you were down to my knees, lovely!"
I could feel both Austin and Zoey's eyes on me, but my own eyes were glued to Sophie. That must have been it: the familiarity I saw in Zoey. That was one burden off my mind then, not that it really helped settle my thoughts at all considering my head was blocked up with plenty of other crap. As I scanned Sophie's face, it seemed unreal how memories I didn't even know existed were suddenly coming to light. Those memories were vague and not exactly significant, but they were there. I remembered her always having her light hair tied back into a low ponytail, how she used to wear these weird clothes that were covered in feathers and... wolves? I struggled to remember exactly. She used to have two packets of cherry chewing gums in her bag for my brother and I whenever she visited us. I could almost taste the cherry flavour on the tip of my tongue as I watched Sophie.
"Hey, how is Maddie? I'd love to catch up with her. We haven't spoken in years."
My entire insides almost collapsed while I simply sat there, knowing that I had a lost look in my eyes. What was I supposed to say? Tell her everything? I almost laughed bitterly: I doubted she had all day. Mum was a taboo subject. For someone to actually talk about her, to say her name was just... It didn't seem right, yet there was a feeling, almost like a tired beating in my chest that warmed up at the mention of her. The subject soon changed.
"How about William? How's he doing? And your dad? A wonderful man, he is." She began nodding. "A real hero."
The words swallowed me up and left me sitting on the sofa like some wounded puppy. I hated it when people called him that. Bloody hated it. It took more than a uniform to make a man a hero. I looked back up at Sophie. I struggled to stop myself from stammering.
"William isn't with you, is he?" Sophie smiled.
"Uh, no, he's actually been away with school for a few weeks." I could hear the uncomfortable tone in my own voice.
"Ah, I see." I forced a smile towards Sophie as she spoke. "Gosh, sorry, lovely, I doubt you came here to talk about any of this." She laughed as she shuffled some papers, and like the necklaces around her neck had done earlier, her layers of bracelets made the same loud clinking sounds. "Okay, so, you're..." She paused. "About sixteen now, right?" I nodded. "So A-Levels then. Is there just one subject you want help with?"
"Yeah, just music," I replied.
She beamed once again, and then she sat straight. Underneath the brown poncho she was wearing, I spotted a picture of the head of a dog-like creature. A wolf. My memory was correct then. Sophie moved her arm and the t-shirt with a wolf printed on it disappeared underneath the poncho once more.
"How much is it all gonna cost?" Austin interrupted.
I elbowed him, and he shot me a glare. Dang, I hadn't even thought about, well, paying for this homeshooling thing. Even if Austin had asked it in the rudest tone possible, it was a good question. Money... I was hardly rolling in the stuff. Sophie moved a strand of loose hair from her face as her eyes weaved their way into mine. Despite the huge grin on her face, her eyes looked darker than what I remembered of them. Sadder.
"Well, considering you only want help with one subject, it'll be cheaper," she said to Austin before turning back to me.
"Considering you know him, does he get a discount?" Austin opened his big mouth again. I swore I could have hit him.
Sophie laughed at him. "We'll see." She turned back to me. "Because music is my specialist subject though, it will be a little more again... If you do want to do this, lovely, it'll be about thirty pounds an hour."
That was homeschooling thrown out of the window then. Thirty pounds a fricking hour? Seriously? I rubbed my forehead as I watched Sophie awkwardly. She was eyeing me in a sort of knowing way. Considering she knew Mum before, she probably knew what our financial state was like. I was beginning to partly like this homeschooling idea, especially after realising that I actually knew Sophie a little. There was no way I could afford do it for thirty quid an hour though. No way in hell.
Sophie must have noticed the strained expression on my face. "If the price is a bit of a problem though, I'm sure something can be sorted out. Have a think about it, and if you do want to do this, come back some other time this week with some information on your GCSE results, and we'll go from there. Oh, and here." She handed me a small pile of paper. "Get your mum or dad to sign a few of these."
Yeah, because my dad would happily sign a dump of forms so I could spend thirty quid an hour on a tutor for a subject he considered a waste of time. My heart sank lower and lower, so low I swore I could feel it spilling out of my worn out shoes. This was all just getting worse.
“There isn’t a problem, is there, Charlie?” Sophie brought my attention back to her.
“Uh, no... no, it’s fine,” I lied.
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Click here to read STOP AND STARE (PART TWELVE)
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