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The Greatest Matchmaking Challenge Ever: Ch. 4



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Sun Apr 11, 2010 4:47 pm
Esther Sylvester says...



This is the fourth chapter to my romance novel, The Greatest Matchmaking Challenge Ever. Please enjoy and reviews are needed!


CHAPTER FOUR, The Not-so Grand Introduction.


Alex’s expression while waiting for the princess to enter the throne room was one of extreme boredom. He slouched back in his chair dramatically and let out a sigh that was louder than needed. Having already thought of miscellaneous ways to get rid of the princess, Alex only needed to wait for the girl to arrive. Alex was not good at waiting. He glanced over to his father, who was occupying the grand throne next to his own. Judging by his father’s expression, the king was one for waiting either. Alex let his father sit for a moment in silence, and then began to whistle. Thirty seconds into the annoying tune, his father started rubbing his temples.

“Alex,” the king started, “could you find another way to occupy yourself besides whistle like that?”

“I wish I could,” Alex replied, “but alas I am under the spell of this catchy tune. It is possible I will never stop.”

Alex’s father, King Alexander, turned his head to the side and looked at his son. He was startled to see that his son looked like he had just walked out of a slop bucket.

“Good heavens son? Wherever did you get those clothes? You look like some peasant!” King Alexander said.

Alex looked down at his clothing. The tunic he was wearing was torn and old, and the pants he had on were dirty and hole-ridden.

“Oh you mean these classy old things? I got them from a servant that works in the stables! Do I not look handsome, father?” Alex said, merriment in his eyes.

King Alexander could have almost chuckled, but he was too old and too used to Alex’s antics to find anymore humor in them.

“Oh I see. You are trying to scare away the princess with your absurd taste in clothing, “King Alexander said.

“Father, whatever do you mean? I am simply testing her. If she cannot take a husband that dresses poorly, then she is simply a vain girl that I’m too good for anyway. I’m protecting myself from a bad marriage, that is all,” Alex said.

King Alexander sighed.

“Sure, my son. And I suppose when you were protecting yourself from a bad marriage when you “accidentally” poured syrup into a girls hair too, correct?”
“Yes sir!”

“I’m getting to old for this, Alex…Please; I want to have grandchildren before I pass away. Please promise me that you will act decently. A boy of seventeen years should not be acting so infantile.”

Alex shrugged.

“If you insist, father. I’ve already promised Jean I would talk to the girl seriously anyway.” Alex said.

Alex sat back in his chair and waited for the announcements. He hated to disappoint his father, but he knew that he could never get attached to any girl. Not after what happened.

Not after she left.

“Please welcome their royal highnesses, Prince Robert and Princess Anita of Corin,” A
young man announced. The young man took his place next to King Alexander.

Alex stood up and left his chair. He was not going to want to sit down for all of this. He watched as the girl and her brother entered, and was pleasantly surprised with what he saw. The girl was quite lovely, with deep blue eyes and dark brown hair that would have reached her waist if it had not been tied back on her head in an elaborate style. Her skin was actually lightly tanned, to Alex’s interest. Many girls just stayed in the castle all day, trying to maintain their porcelain skin tones. Her brother shared the hair color and the eyes, but his unlike his sister, his eyes lack any emotion whatsoever. Alex did not quite trust those eyes.

“Your majesty,” she said in a pleasant voice, “it is a pleasure to meet you.”

The throne room was to Anita the grandest room she had ever seen. It was enormous, with expensive white tile covering the floor. The ceiling was intricately painted with beautiful designs. Anita was quite impressed with the king, also. He had the face of a strong leader, but the gentle eyes of a caretaker. Robert edged closer to her side and murmured, “Best behavior”, in her ear. Anita gulped. She wasn’t sure if she should speak first or not, but the king answered the question for her.

“Sir Robert, Miss Anita, it is a pleasure to have you with us,” The king said.

“The pleasure is all mine. I take it that young man over there is Prince Alex?” Anita
said. She motioned over to the handsome, well dressed man on the king’s right side. She couldn’t be certain, but she thought that she heard someone chuckle mockingly. The king rolled his eyes, which startled Anita.

“Actually, that is my steward. That young man over there is my son,” the king said morosely. He pointed at Alex, who was now shaking with silent laughter.

Anita felt her cheeks grow warm. She swallowed and hoped the king did not think her stupid for her mistake. She curtsied to the prince, who quite frankly in her opinion could have dressed better on this occasion.

Actually, quite a lot better, she thought.

“Oh, I am sorry, forgive me. I am Anita. It is a pleasure to meet you,” Anita said to Alex.

Alex walked over to her and bowed slightly.

“I would say the same,” Alex began, “but I never was a good liar.”

Jean winced at this comment. Alex had already started slighting her! Jean glanced over to Anita and was surprised that she was not perturbed in the least. Her facial expression almost seemed bemused.

“I do not appreciate liars, so I am glad for you to be so honest with me. As you already know, this is my brother, Robert.” Anita said.

Alex was nearly taken aback. Did she not notice his slight out of stupidity, or tolerance? Either way, Alex suddenly had a feeling that this could be interesting.

Anita was quite shocked that Alex would address her so smugly. Who knew that he would start to be rude as soon as he spoke? Anita was only glad that she was used to such slight comments, thanks to her father. As Alex greeted her brother, she started building up her defenses. Obviously just being polite wouldn’t stop Alex from being rude. She would have to have some remarks as well.

“So Anita, I hear that the fishing is quite good over in your country at the moment,”
the king said to break the awkwardness that had fallen between the royalty.

“Quite so. You could come over to our castle sometime. Our lake is very well stocked.” Anita said.

“I say, is your lake well stocked because you capture fish from other lakes and put them in your lake yourself, Anita?” Alex said.

“Of course not, sir! Why do you ask?” Anita said cautiously.

Alex grinned and then wrinkled his nose like he had just smelled something foul.

“Oh, I was just asking. It would have explained the smell.” Alex said.

Jean, Robert and King Alexander all lightly gasped. They all looked at Anita to see her reaction. As far as they could tell, the mark had not fazed her.
But it did, really. Anita couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She had travelled many a day just to get to Maritha, and Prince Alex had already mocked her twice! Her patience was growing low, and with it, her tongue more sour. She took a deep breath and smiled the sweetest smile she could.

“Dear prince, do not tell me that you have not a stomach for fish! I dare say it must be your dyspeptic disposition. I hear that they have remedies for that.” Anita said.

Alex raised his eyebrows and let a crooked grin slide on his face. Robert gave Anita a harsh expression.

“I’m afraid it isn’t fish, for it’s only unpleasant young ladies that give me such a heartburn,” Alex replied.

Anita was then fuming.

“Then I suppose I should leave, not wanting to prolong your suffering!” Anita said.

“Oh, it’s quite alright. I am used to unpleasant experiences. However, I must say that looking at your face leaves me rather… unhappy,” Alex lied.

“What is wrong with my face?” Anita demanded.

“Nothing really. Just the nose, the eyes, perhaps even the mouth…” Alex said.

"Could you say that to my face again?" Anita growled.

"Oh, you mean you were too dim to understand the first time?" Alex said.

King Alexander rose from his throne, his mouth set into a thin line.

"That will be enough, Alex! Apologize!" the king demanded.

Anita told herself that her feelings weren’t hurt, but they were. She could feel tears of frustration sting her eyes. Gathering up what strength she could, she regained her composure.

“No. No apologies.It was my mistake,” Anita said.

“Is that so?” Alex asked.

“Yes,” Anita started slowly, “I came here thinking that you were just unreasonable, but I was wrong. It turns out that you are just an ass.”

And with that, she slapped Alex across the face. Not as hard as she would have liked, but enough to make her feel satisfied. The slap caught Alex off balance, and he almost teetered over before composing himself. He stared at her in surprise, his cheek starting to glow a shade of red. Anita turned and headed for the exit.

“I am heading for my guest room now. And I much as you would like it I will not be packing my things to leave,” Anita said.

Robert quickly followed her, but stopped and turned to face the king, anger flourishing in his eyes.

“I think you should train the tongue of your son better, your highness. We don’t want him biting off more than he can chew,” Robert said.

Robert and Anita left, leaving all the room’s inhabitants confused and befuddled.
“I dare say,” said King Alexander, “that she got the best of you, Alex.” Then he started laughing hysterically.

“This does not change the fact that you were rude and ungracious, Alex. You will go and apologize to her right now!” Jean demanded.

Alex just stood there, rubbing his cheek. The king sobered.

“My trusted advisor is right. Go to her room and apologize. Now would be good,” the king said.

“I think not. That harpy would be the death of me,” Alex said.

Alex ended up standing outside Anita’s guest room anyway.


Jean had at least made sure of that.
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Mon Apr 12, 2010 8:09 pm
Sins says...



Hey again Esther :)

I'm here for the last review 8)

Alex’s expression while waiting for the princess to enter the throne room was one of extreme boredom. He slouched back in his chair dramatically and let out a sigh that was louder than needed. Having already thought of miscellaneous ways to get rid of the princess, Alex only needed to wait for the girl to arrive. Alex was not good at waiting. He glanced over to his father, who was occupying the grand throne next to his own. Judging by his father’s expression, the king was not one for waiting either. Alex let his father sit for a moment in silence, and then began to whistle. Thirty seconds into the annoying tune, his father started rubbing his temples.

“Alex,” the king started, “could you find another way to occupy yourself besides whistling like that?”

“I wish I could,” Alex replied, “but alas I am under the spell of this catchy tune. It is possible I will never stop.”

Alex’s father, King Alexander, turned his head to the side and looked at his son. He was startled to see that his son looked like he had just walked out of a slop bucket.

“Good heavens son? Wherever did you get those clothes? You look like some peasant!” King Alexander said.

Alex looked down at his clothing. The tunic he was wearing was torn and old, and the pants he had on were dirty and hole-ridden.

“Oh you mean these classy old things? I got them from a servant that works in the stables! Do I not look handsome, father?” Alex said, merriment in his eyes.

King Alexander could have almost chuckled, but he was too old and too used to Alex’s antics to find anymore humor in them. This sentence is kind of hard to understand. You should rephrase it to something like; King Alexander didn't chuckle, he was to old to find humour in Alex's antics anymore. Besides, he was used to them by now.

“Oh I see. You are trying to scare away the princess with your absurd taste in clothing, “King Alexander said.

“Father, whatever do you mean? I am simply testing her. If she cannot take a husband that dresses poorly, then she is simply a vain girl that I’m too good for anyway. I’m protecting myself from a bad marriage, that is all,” Alex said.
I really liked this! It was funny! :)

King Alexander sighed.

“Sure, my son. And I suppose when you were protecting yourself from a bad marriage when you “accidentally” poured syrup into a girls hair too, correct?”
(You need to leave a lines space here)
“Yes sir!”

“I’m getting to old for this, Alex...(Space)Please; I want to have grandchildren before I pass away. Please promise me that you will act decently. A boy of seventeen years should not be acting so infantile.”

Alex shrugged.

“If you insist, father. I’ve already promised Jean I would talk to the girl seriously anyway.” Alex said.

Alex sat back in his chair and waited for the announcements. He hated to disappoint his father, but he knew that he could never get attached to any girl. Not after what happened.

Not after she left.
These lines were good. It made me want to know more :wink:

“Please welcome their royal highness'es, Prince Robert and Princess Anita of Corin,” A
young man announced. The young man took his place next to King Alexander.

Alex stood up and left his chair. He was not going to want to sit down for all of this. He watched as the girl and her brother entered, and was pleasantly surprised with what he saw. The girl was quite lovely, with deep blue eyes and dark brown hair that would have reached her waist if it had not been tied back on her head in an elaborate style. Her skin was actually lightly tanned, to Alex’s interest. Many girls just stayed in the castle all day, trying to maintain their porcelain skin tones. Her brother shared the hair color and the eyes, but his unlike his sister, his eyes lack any emotion whatsoever. Alex did not quite trust those eyes.

“Your majesty,” she said in a pleasant voice, “it is a pleasure to meet you.”

The throne room was to Anita the grandest room she Anita had ever seen. It was enormous, with expensive white tile covering the floor. The ceiling was intricately painted with beautiful designs. Anita was quite impressed with the king, also. He had the face of a strong leader, but the gentle eyes of a caretaker. Robert edged closer to her side and murmured, “Best behavior”, in her ear. Anita gulped. She wasn’t sure if she should speak first or not, but the king answered the question for her.

“Sir Robert, Miss Anita, it is a pleasure to have you with us,” The king said.

“The pleasure is all mine. I take it that young man over there is Prince Alex?” Anita
said. She motioned over to the handsome, well dressed man on the king’s right side. She couldn’t be certain, but she thought that she heard someone chuckle mockingly. The king rolled his eyes, which startled Anita.

“Actually, that is my steward. That young man over there is my son,” the king said morosely. He pointed at Alex, who was now shaking with silent laughter.

Anita felt her cheeks grow warm. She swallowed, and hoped hoping the king did not think her stupid for her mistake. She curtsied to the prince, who quite frankly in her opinion could have dressed better on this occasion.

Actually, quite a lot better, she thought.

“Oh, I am sorry, forgive me. I am Anita. It is a pleasure to meet you,” Anita said to Alex.

Alex walked over to her and bowed slightly.

“I would say the same,” Alex began, “but I never was a good liar.”
This was funny too!

Jean winced at this comment. Alex had already started slighting her! Jean glanced over to Anita and was surprised that she was not perturbed in the least. Her facial expression almost seemed bemused.

“I do not appreciate liars, so I am glad for you to be so honest with me. As you already know, this is my brother, Robert.” Anita said.

Alex was nearly taken aback. Did she not notice his slight out of stupidity, or tolerance? Either way, Alex suddenly had a feeling that this could be interesting.

Anita was quite shocked that Alex would address her so smugly. Who knew that he would start to be rude as soon as he spoke? Anita was only glad that she was used to such slight comments, thanks to her father. As Alex greeted her brother, she started building up her defenses. Obviously just being polite wouldn’t stop Alex from being rude. She would have to have some remarks as well.

“So Anita, I hear that the fishing is quite good over in your country at the moment,”
the king said to break the awkwardness that had fallen between the royalty.

“Quite so. You could come over to our castle sometime. Our lake is very well stocked.” Anita said.

“I say, is your lake well stocked because you capture fish from other lakes and put them in your lake yourself, Anita?” Alex said.

“Of course not, sir! Why do you ask?” Anita said cautiously.

Alex grinned and then wrinkled his nose like he had just smelled something foul.

“Oh, I was just asking. It would have explained the smell.” Alex said.

Jean, Robert and King Alexander all lightly gasped. They all looked at Anita to see her reaction. As far as they could tell, the mark had not fazed her.
But it did, really. Anita couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She had travelled many a day just to get to Maritha, and Prince Alex had already mocked her twice! Her patience was growing low, and with it, her tongue more sour. She took a deep breath and smiled the sweetest smile she could.

“Dear prince, do not tell me that you have not a stomach for fish! I dare say it must be your dyspeptic disposition. I hear that they have remedies for that.” Anita said.

Alex raised his eyebrows and let a crooked grin slide on his face. Robert gave Anita a harsh expression.

“I’m afraid it isn’t fish, for it’s only unpleasant young ladies that give me such a heartburn,” Alex replied.

Anita was then fuming.

“Then I suppose I should leave, not wanting to prolong your suffering!” Anita said.

“Oh, it’s quite alright. I am used to unpleasant experiences. However, I must say that looking at your face leaves me rather… unhappy,” Alex lied.

“What is wrong with my face?” Anita demanded.

“Nothing really. Just the nose, the eyes, perhaps even the mouth…” Alex said.

"Could you say that to my face again?" Anita growled.

"Oh, you mean you were too dim to understand the first time?" Alex said.

King Alexander rose from his throne, his mouth set into a thin line.

"That will be enough, Alex! Apologize!" the king demanded.

Anita told herself that her feelings weren’t hurt, but they were. She could feel tears of frustration sting her eyes. Gathering up what strength she could, she regained her composure.

“No. No apologies.It was my mistake,” Anita said.

“Is that so?” Alex asked.

“Yes,” Anita started slowly, “I came here thinking that you were just unreasonable, but I was wrong. It turns out that you are just an ass.”

And with that, she slapped Alex across the face. Not as hard as she would have liked, but enough to make her feel satisfied. The slap caught Alex off balance, and he almost teetered over before composing himself. He stared at her in surprise, his cheek starting to glow a shade of red. Anita turned and headed for the exit.

“I am heading for my guest room now. And I much as you would like it I will not be packing my things to leave,” Anita said.

Robert quickly followed her, but stopped and turned to face the king, anger flourishing in his eyes.

“I think you should train the tongue of your son better, your highness. We don’t want him biting off more than he can chew,” Robert said.

Robert and Anita left, leaving all the room’s inhabitants confused and befuddled.
“I dare say,” said King Alexander, “that she got the best of you, Alex.” Then he started laughing hysterically.

“This does not change the fact that you were rude and ungracious, Alex. You will go and apologize to her right now!” Jean demanded.

Alex just stood there, rubbing his cheek. The king sobered.

“My trusted advisor is right. Go to her room and apologize. Now would be good,” the king said.

“I think not. Otherwise, that harpy would will be the death of me,” Alex said.

Alex ended up standing outside Anita’s guest room anyway.

Jean had at least made sure of that.



This was my favourite chapter so far! I really liked the humour in it. My favourite character at the moment is definitely Alex. He acts like a c***, admittedly, but he's funny! :lol:

Overall, I found the odd nit-pick, but this was great! Like I said before though, you should use he said, she said e.t.c as well as Anita said, Alex said e.t.c! It just varies the writing a bit.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter of this!

xoxo Skins
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Tue Apr 13, 2010 9:17 am
SophieSays says...



Sophie - Here to review! I really enjoyed this. Most of the nitpicks have already been mentioned so I think I'll just critique the chapter overall.
Even though I hadn't read the previous chapters, I had a very good idea of what was going on. The insults were amusing and the characters were well developed. I thought you could have done with a bit more description at the beginning, I couldn't really picture the room until half way through, when Anita walked in. I also don't think you should switch perspective half-way through a scene. That threw me a little, and made reading it quite awkward. It had a nice 'feel' to it and your grammar and spelling was good. :)
Well done and keep writing! Sophie
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Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:22 pm
Esther Sylvester says...



Thank you very much guys! I will work on these issues when I can.
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 5:01 am
Zibbie says...



i like.
too tiered to review but its been covered
POST MOREEEEE!
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Sat Jul 17, 2010 7:30 pm
comrie says...



ohmygod. alex was being mean ): poor anita, but it's awesome she's not doing what he wants her to do (leave.) (GOD I LOVE HER.) i still can't get over at how much of an ass alex was being.

-smacked alex with last week's paper-

ah. i think i feel a little better.

but this was great! your chapter titled intrigued me when i saw it. and you were right, the introduction wasn't so grand. ;P

onto the next chapter!

-julie (:
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