| Young Writers Society - Community Forums For Young Writers |
|
This thread was created on November 24, 2005
  |
|
Topic ID: 6006
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Amice
Writer
Gender: 
Age: 20
Joined: 25 Oct 2005
Posts: 60
Reviews: 37
300 Points
|
 Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 12:11 am Post subject: let's talk about it (revised!) |
 |
|
Let's be reasonable
Let's talk about it
No more silent treatment
And no more shouting
We've got to clear this up-
If we can
Let's be reasonable
Let's talk about it
written to an easygoing Beatles-type tune
...should I add to it? 
-Amice- |
Last edited by Amice on Sat Nov 26, 2005 4:12 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Griffinkeeper
Storybook Godfather
Epic Novelist
Gender: 
Age: 20
Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 3776
Reviews: 660
Country: USA
324 Points
|
| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 7:15 am Post subject: |
|
|
I hate questions like that. If you want to add to it, add to it. That's your right as the author.
I do think it is short. Seems more like a chorus. |
_________________
Grif is putting together a math usergroup. Join it here.
QED: The mathematical equivalent to 'Booyeah!" |
|
| Back to top |
|
Amice
Writer
Gender:
Age: 20
Joined: 25 Oct 2005
Posts: 60
Reviews: 37
300 Points
|
| Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 3:06 pm Post subject: let's talk about it |
|
|
Excuse me. The question was not could I add to it or do I have a right to... It is a matter of opinion concerning the value of the small piece I'd started with. If it's trash, I will throw it away. If someone thinks it's worth continuing, I'll work some more on it. Sorry, Griffinkeeper, that you misunderstood.
Anyways, here it is again:
CH:
Let's be reasonable
Let's talk about it
No more silent treatment
And no more shouting
We've got to clear this up- if we can
Let's be reasonable
Let's talk about it
V1:
What did I say?
What can I do?
Don't put on a face
I need the real you
Don't put up a wall
Let's talk this through
V2
Please listen to me
We're not getting anywhere
Just hear my side of the story
I know you must still care
Cause I still hear and feel and see
Just like I did when you were here
Now the tune is reminding me more of Avril's Complicated... |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Snoink
*glub*
Writer of Legend
Gender:
Age: 20
Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 8247
Reviews: 2082
Country: USA
1283 Points
|
| Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 7:22 am Post subject: |
|
|
You're right -- it is sounding more like Avril's kind of tune rather than The Beatles. It just seems to have that flavor of modern pop. The chorus, mind you, doesn't sound this way, which makes the lyrics kind of strange. I don't know...
But a question: what year for The Beatles? Their early stuff, or later? |
_________________
Leopluridon '08: He Will Show Us The Way! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You can attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum
|
|
| This thread was created on November 24, 2005 |
Graphics By Bobo | YWS Sword & Shield Logo by Bobo
Bartemius says, The important thing is never to stop questioning. - Albert Einstein
|
