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Elizabeth
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 Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 1:48 am Post subject: Writing Challenge 11/21 (Elizabeth Mathers Rant) |
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Writing Challenge 11/21
I hope that people are aware that there are longest words (not smiles because that is one of the corniest long word puns I ever heard of in my life, and I know the 4 longest words in the English language which happen to be antidisestablishmentarianism, floccinauchinihilipipification, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, and pneunonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis which is some sort of coal mining lung illness you get after exposed to those types of elements for long enough, and by the way, please don’t ask me to respell them if you chance to be an expert because I don’t want to deal with your bragging) longest numbers, and longest trails of snot, but I am certain that nobody is aware that I am about to create the longest sentence and in by doing so snatch the prize and make the rest of the people around me cry very had; indeed this will be true, however it has taken me quite sometime to compile my thoughts (mainly 3 minutes) into what I really want to write for this challenge and it has occurred to me that I am pretty sure I will rant on and on about nothing in particular, asking questions about pie or the simple meaning of photosynthesis and I am not generally sure what they mean by the longest sentence you can think of and I am thinking right now I am doing something wrong, for one, I could have misused some grammar and punctuation marks (I am sure by saying that I did so something wrong) or I could have accidentally put a period around unintentionally and in the words of my grandpa “I won’t notice if something is tweaked until I am finished with the project,” which leads me to remind all of you that I am not very good at keeping my mind focused on my work: namely homework that Ms. Rohweller hands out to us because I really don’t give a donkey’s mind about who created the first Twinkie or who shot who in the Civil War, although it seems to matter a whole lot in her strange, sad, divorced mind (I don’t mean to offend her but I am currently at a lack for words because when writing the longest sentence and switching topics you must be very careful not to put a period or exclamation point anywhere because that would signify the end of a sentence and the beginning of a new one and we can’t have that because then that would mean I would probably lose this contest and I am a very competitive person although Colton’s girlfriend Mara says I am not the sporty type, but I think that being competitive doesn’t mean you compete in sports, it just means you’re competitive and Mara, on the other hand, has joined nearly all the sports that Hazel Park Middle School Academy (what a boastful name) has to offer from soccer to basketball, volleyball (I can’t recall if she joined that or not) and badminton, which I plan to compete in this year, I couldn’t last year because I forgot to fill in the sheet and it’s not like I had anytime in my schedule because at the end of the year I am packed full of events such as Destination Imagination (DI) and the play and this year the beginning is already swamping me over because I signed up for DI and Math Team and Newspaper, which is something I didn’t do last year, so I am proud of that and pretty sure you are sick of hearing about my school life so let me just tell you a few more “rantingly” (that isn’t a real word, so I hope that doesn’t affect anything) things about me, such as my birthday party this year, which was fabulous, especially the part near the end when we tried to contact dead people and Nick and Alex got all shivery and freaked out and the part when the phone rang everybody jumped and screamed and it turned out it was Alex’s mother; I knew she was a demonic aura from beyond and not a true Christian or Catholic person or any of that (no offence to those who do believe in religion, I’m just a bluntly annoyed atheist who believes in Gesus), but please don’t ask me why I turned to atheism, I think it all began with one day I prayed to God for him to please let me have a happy new year, and that was the year my great grandfather died and my grandmother was mortified, but it was also the year that I went to California’s Disneyland, so I guess that pretty much evened it up, yet it didn’t, however I do not wish to remember that time in Disneyland because I vaguely recall punching Goofy in the nose because his hand “slipped” and being the nine year old defensive blob I was, I socked him right through his costume and I think I heard the man inside the suit yell and he reached for his fake nose, but then he realized that his real nose hurt so then his arms went floppy (I think he drew his arms inside the suit to clench his nose) and he ran off and I ran and the crowd left and nobody ever spoke of it again until today, which reminds me of the time that I slapped Michael in the face because he was being such a loser and he deserved it for calling me a bad name as well as slaving around the rest of the team and not doing any work on his part, I did manage to force three out of forty questions on him but he still complained, called me a name, I turned around and open-palmed slapped him in the face, later hearing that his nose began to bleed and as proud of myself as I was, I wasn’t pitiful towards him and that’s not all because then he came up and tried to trip me but I dodged it and he slipped and I hope he broke his freaking head open, I am such a horrible person but I can’t help it because tomorrow is my birthday and I really don’t want it to be my birthday because I’m going to be fourteen, thus claiming the end of my life and I must submit and remember to use the numbers one and four when filling out papers, this past month I finally memorized that my age was thirteen and now I have to wait another year before I can remember the age I turned the year before, I know, it’s confusing logic, but I don’t honestly care, because this is my sentence and you are reading it just to check for errors to bring me down, and believe me I have made a careful thirteen second check to make sure there are no periods anywhere except when I choose to end this sentence, which I honestly have no intention on ending because I am honestly having the time of my last thirteen hours of being a thirteen year old and I am starting to wonder if I make this a fifty-thousand word sentence that if it will count for a novel and it would be funny if a publisher read it and gasped at it and said, “I must have this work,” and then contact me and I become a famous person and the rest of you are begging for autographs, but not to worry, I will sign all of your memorabilia except for Alex’s stomach- marker does bad things to his stomach- and I need not mention the incident of yesterday ’05 which I can’t really remember because I think it was a Sunday and Sunday is the holey day where I go out back and dig up the yard to find old things and possibly one day the body of the guy who I believe was murdered in my garage because there were red stains on the inside of the door before we remodeled it, or there could have been a possible case of rabies and they shot their dog, exposing the young ones to the foaming insanity of it all and I hope nobody will be exposed to rabies, unless I am the one who will be able to shoot them; it won’t be a pity shot either, it will be the intense rage of a million seconds of life being fired at your bubbly skull, of course now I am running out of ranting ideas and everything, but I leave you now with these words of wisdom, which should be posted on the Young Writers Society for current word of the week someday, so Matt you get on it, unless it was nickelpickle, but I can’t remember:
Pancake
Algiers
Fruitcake
Straw
Lemonade
No, I take that back, I am going to keep that! |
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Last edited by Elizabeth on Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:25 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Snoink
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| Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 3:01 am Post subject: |
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| My eyes! My eyes! |
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Elizabeth
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Snoink
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| Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 3:39 am Post subject: |
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| Well... it is a friggin' long sentence... |
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Brian
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| Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 4:07 am Post subject: |
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Oh. My. God.
My mind is fried...
But I find grammatical mistakes!
"and screamed and it turned out it was Alex’s mother, I knew she was a demonic aura from beyond and not a true Christian or Catholic person or any of that (no offence to those who do believe in religion"
You got a comma splice here; that is, you got a comma when there should be a period. It's right after mother, but you can fix this by changing that comma to a semi-colon.
"I will sign all of your memorabilia except for Alex’s stomach, marker does bad things to his stomach, "
The last part (starting with marker, ending with stomach) should be seperated with hyphens.
" unless I am the one who will be able to shoot them, it won’t be a pity shot either,"
Another comma splice. Change the comma after them to a semi-colon.
You should give this an edit. You got comma splices galore here. But, it was absolutely hilarious and incredibly fun to read. Great comic relief! Great rant as well! |
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Teeeeo.
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| Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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Umm... It was my grandma... Not my mom... My Mom isn't THAT old!
xD |
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Elder Bobo
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| Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 7:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Nate opened a can of worms with this one. And now the competition is fierce... |
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Duskglimmer
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| Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 1:06 am Post subject: |
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*reads the super long sentence and falls over in a faint*
| Nate wrote: |
| And now the competition is fierce... |
too fierce for me... *glances at the sentence again* gah... |
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Green Monkey
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| Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm scared!!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!! |
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thegirlwhofateloves
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Elizabeth
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thegirlwhofateloves
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Meta-Messiah
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| Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Hahaha i started reading this without realising what it is, shows my observation skills, i was kinda freaked out when i realised i hadn't breathed for a while and that this didn't want me to take a break, thats one helluva sentence |
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Elizabeth
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thegirlwhofateloves
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