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Caligula's Launderette
the extemp queen
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 Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:49 pm Post subject: Chocolate and Cigarettes |
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I am not sure where to put this, whether in non-fiction or here...so yeah cheers y'all. Rated for language...
CL
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Chocolate and Cigarettes
to Robert, Sean, Max, and Cyril (yes that would be Arvy) the last living romantics
I wish I could write. I can't. My brain has shut off due to (a) the alcohol, (b) the cigarettes, (c) chocolate, or (d) all of the above. I'm not sure which. The alcohol sliding down my throat, tangy and sugared by coca light is a Cuba Libre rip-off, served in a tall glass with square cubes of ice, which are skewered by my thin pink stiring straw. The slow grad and puff of the cigarette, today is Lucky Strike, tomorrow Reynold's, burns against my lips. But it's a good burn, full of herb ash and tobacco spice. The chocolate is of a cheap kind not Milka, which goes down smooth and pools creamy around the teeth and under the tongue. This is of the cardboard aftertaste, afterthought variety but it wazs cheap so I didn't expect much.
I wish my imagination would ignite tonight. It's as if all my little grey cells have gone on strike. It is almost eleven and I have nothing to show for the hours lost sitting her paper, pencil, Keats, The fucking Pengiun Book of English Verse and a shady bag of highlighters for company. I've highlighted all my favorite passages and lines, and read them time and again trying to engage myself with their words and yet I am stalemate.
The radio cackles wit songs I've heard ad infinitum, It's My Life and others along the same veine. It's the reason I hardly flip that switch anymore. The machine is a song-killer or more so it's the burecratics behind the music and the stations, and the numbed out DJs. In my opinion with what they have at their disposal, all those millions of songs, they should have enough to never repeat. But they don't, they hone themselves in on certain vestiges of song and play the fuck out of them. Ah Black Eyed Peas, there's something I haven't heard in awhile...
I take another sip and puff on my dying cigarette. They say these will kill me one day. I know that. I have all the facts at my disposal and understand the years of scientific research at my fingertips. May think stupidity plays a part in the indulgence. That's not so in my case. I choose to indulge, because I am human. It's part of the condition - Self interest. I enjoy the sensation of alcohol dribbling down my throat, I enjoy the singe of a cigarette between my teeth. They are vices, but as in everything I enjoy them in mediocrity.
Save the Music. What does that mean, or is it another slogan to persuade the people into raising their voice. I rather think that it started out well but like things do, it was snagged by corporate hooligans intent on spreading it to the masses only if money was an outcome.
I wonder where my pack of Cloves is, I don't want to light another cigarette, there are always tomorrows. I find them tucked into my raincoat. Taking out one, I light it and enjoy the vision of the embers playing along the tip. Still I find words fail me. I curse my pencil and throw it to the floor, violently. Words have failed me. There is a road block in my brain tonight, flashing yellow-orange lights and all. But as usual there are no workers to finish the job. Why is it that when something breaks, it's cheaper to buy it new than to repair it? Has society turned so materalistic? Have we applied that philosophy to ourselves as well? When you break a heart(someone else's) do yo go and buy a new one? Has sentimentality, and nostalgia, and feeling left us for good?
I wish for the last living romantic to find me here in my living room looking out at the cityscape to make everything all better. To show that we haven't lost touch with out inner selves and nature, only got lost amongst the cement and stock market signs.
I will wait until then stuck in writer's limbo, indulging in numbing praticies, waiting for an avenging Valkyrie to swath clean the killing fields. |
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Zion
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| Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 5:03 pm Post subject: |
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::applause:: CL this was awesome I really enjoyed it! lol thx for adding moi. Its soo....freestylish, so...."I dont give a damn" style. The best thng of all is (something that constatly happens to me too) you always keep braging that you cant create ANYTHING, when in the end, when you turn back, theres an entire universe created by your bragging.   amazing! |
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Without sensibility no object would be given to us, without understanding no object would be thought. Thoughts without content are empty, intuitions without concepts are blind.
Immanuel Kant
"Critique of Pure Reason" |
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Shriek
thinking outrageously, i write in cursive.
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| Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 2:17 am Post subject: |
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This was great. Reminded me of The Sun Also Rises in the sense that it portrayed the recurring empty indulgence so well. Although much more poetic than anything Hemmingway could ever pull. -Wink- I caught one typo:
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Has society turned so materalistic? Have we applied that philosophy to ourselves as well? When you break a heart(someone else's) do yo go and buy a new one? Has sentimentality, and nostalgia, and feeling left us for good?
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I liked the last line too--the bit about writer's limbo. Don't know if you're the first to coin the term, but it's an interesting way to look at it. Keep up the solid writing. |
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thegirlwhofateloves
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Caligula's Launderette
the extemp queen
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 21
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Country: how should I know, I don't even know where my socks are half the time?
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| Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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thanks guys, I love you so.
Arvy: hehehe but you are! You homage to me too much my friend.
Shriek: Wow, I am touched by your review. Thanks for catching the typo. I'm not sure about the coined term, but it sounded proper in my head so I wrote it.
thegirlwhofateloves: thank you for the review, and as the above states there are some romatics left in this world, you just have to go looking for some. For mine I am grateful.
cheers all
CL |
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Fraser: Stop stealing the blanket.
[Diefenbaker whines]
Fraser: You're an Arctic Wolf, for God's sake.
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CK Lynn
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| Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 11:26 pm Post subject: |
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| This was fantastic. The only thing I caught was one you spelled "was" as "wazs". |
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