I've gone over and edited the story a bit, as of 7/9. I've taken out a character (Lienne, a sister; she's so minor that you won't notice ^^ ) and I've changed Kor's character a lot, starting in this chapter. I've taken out the old chapter five and replaced it with new chapter five. Enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After five minutes, Asti managed to make it into the Queen’s sitting room. She saw a boy about her age, a plump older one, her mother, and all her sisters sitting around the coffee table, daintily sipping tea.

“Lien and Kor, please meet my eldest daughter, Princess Astianna,” the Queen announced.

Lien, the chubby man, nodded at Asti, smiling. “Nice to meet you, Princess Astianna. You seem just as charming as the rest of your sisters.” Asti forced a smile that turned out to be more of a grimace.

Kor nodded to her, jerkily, face firm, mouth fixed in a tight line. Bewildered, Asti curtsied to both of the men, then sat down next to Jilia.

“Henith, bring the tea! And it better be piping hot!” The Queen barked towards a servant, then added sweetly, “For my Lien.”

‘My Lien’? Asti thought. She bit her tongue to prevent herself from laughing. Asti didn’t remember her mother being like this towards her real father.

Lien smiled back at the Queen. They held hands. Asti coughed, choking on a biscuit; Jilia elbowed Asti not too softly in the ribs, then whispered, “Mind your manners!”

Asti raised an eyebrow, then looked around to see Anneliese and Kelessa suppressing giggles quite badly. She then turned to Kor, who was strangely glaring down into his teacup.

After a few minutes, the tea arrived.

“It is merely warm!” The Queen yelled at the servant. She looked furious. “Didn’t you get my orders? I wanted it piping hot, not…”

“Yes, I know, Queen,” the servant said, looking flustered. “I apolo…”

“DO NOT CUT ME OFF! How dare you? Leave! At once! At this instant! I said, ‘LEAVE!’” The Queen pointed out the door, her face as red as a tomato.

Asti and her sisters were shaking, trying as hard as possible to control their laughter. Jilia, though, kept solemn, unperturbed, as if the whole conversation wasn't even funny in the slightest. Which probably was the truth, for her, since she was the only sister with out a sense of humor. The other three barely managed to recover before the Queen turned back to her daughters and her guests, who looked shocked.

“I am sorry for the little interruption,” the Queen said smoothly, as if nothing had just happened.

"Er, no problem at all, Laeci," Lien said, who looked petrified. "So what were we, er, talking about?"



The Queen and Lien talked on and on for hours; the princesses and Kor’s only part in the conversation was to nod, smile, agree with their parent, and look perfect. They decided that Lien and Kor would stay over for the rest of the week, since the future couple would be discussing grand wedding plans. Finally, the Queen looked at the clock.

“It is getting late. Kelessa, Jilia, and Anneliese, go to your bed chambers. Astianna, show Kor his bedroom…it is right next to yours. Make him feel welcome,” the Queen said. She got up, and reached out for Lien’s hand. They beamed at each other. “I shall lead my darling to his.”

Now I get to walk Mr. Moody up to his bedroom. Might as well be nice. He's going to be my brother, after all. She sighed. Putting on a smile, she bravely walked over, and tapped on the boy's shoulder.

"May I show you up to your room?"

He stared at her. "Why you?"

Asti raised her eyebrows. "What?"

"Why do you have to show me my room?"

"Because I'm the eldest daughter and the Queen says so." Asti replied firmly, smile fading.

"Fine then. Show me my room," he said in a low voice, almost sneering.

Asti's eyes widened. She couldn't help being appalled at the boy's behavior. What is his problem? He's so rude.

"Quit gaping at me like an idiot and show me my room!" Kor snapped. Asti, jaw clenched, started up the stairs, Kor trailing after her.

Finally, they reached the bedroom area.

"What's your problem?" Asti asked, hand on hip, leaning against Kor's bedroom door. "Do you have a problem with-"

He stared at her for one long second, as if considering whether to tell her something or not. Finally, he said, "-you? Yes. You and your entire family." And with that, Kor pushed Astianna out of the way, went into his bedroom, and slammed the door in her face.

Hi Kaedee
I really like it and like before, nothing jumps out at me as wrong.
I think the way the story is structured is really good. I especially love the way the mc teleports right in front off Kor.
Can you pm me when you post more?
Thanks.
midnightread

I really enjoyed this chapter. I think that you leave off at a great point because I want to keep reading so badly. This is good that you keep us all on our toes and waiting. You also do a good job at keeping everything succinct and not allowing description to bog down the story.

Keep up the good work

-Cait