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Astianna: Chapter Three

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Astianna: Chapter Three

Postby Kaedee on Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:45 am

Please review! It would make my day. You can get a better sense of my story if you start from Chapter Two (And by the way, it's short). Thanks so much! 

 

~Kaedee :)  

 

 

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After five minutes, Asti managed to make it into the Queen’s sitting room. She saw a young man about her age, a plump older one, her mother, and all her sisters sitting around the coffee table, daintily sipping tea. 

“Lien and Kor, please meet my eldest daughter, Princess Astianna,” the Queen announced. 

Lien, the chubby man, nodded at Asti, smiling. “Nice to meet you, Princess Astianna. You seem just as charming as the rest of your sisters.” Asti forced a smile that turned out to be more of a grimace. 

Kor nodded to her. He looked shy and nervous in the presence of the Queen herself. Asti curtsied to both of the men, then sat down next to Jilia. 

“Henith, bring the tea! And it better be piping hot!” The Queen barked towards a servant, then added sweetly, “For my Lien.” 

‘My Lien’? Asti thought. She bit her tongue to prevent herself from laughing. Asti didn’t remember her mother being like this towards her real father. 

Lien smiled back at the Queen. They held hands. Asti coughed, choking on a biscuit; Jilia elbowed Asti not too softly in the ribs, then whispered, “Mind your manners!” 

Asti raised an eyebrow, then looked around to see Anneliese who was muffling a giggle, and Lienne and Kelessa looking quite pale and fidgeting uncomfortably in their seats. Kor didn’t look too happy either. 

After a few minutes, the tea arrived. 

“It is merely warm!” The Queen yelled at the servant. She looked furious. “Didn’t you get my orders? I wanted it piping hot, not…” 

“Yes, I know, Queen,” the servant said, looking flustered. “I apolo…” 

“DO NOT CUT ME OFF! How dare you? Leave! At once! At this instant! I said, ‘LEAVE!’” The Queen pointed out the door, her face as red as a tomato. Asti and even most of her sisters were shaking, trying as hard as possible to control their laughter. Jilia, though, kept solemn. They barely managed to recover before the Queen turned back to her daughters and her guests, who looked shocked. 

“I am sorry for the little interruption,” the Queen said smoothly, as if nothing had just happened. 

"Er, no problem at all, Leiah," Lien said, who looked petrified. "So what were we,er, talking about?" 

 

 

 

The Queen and Lien talked on and on for hours; the princesses and Kor’s only part in the conversation was to nod, smile, agree with their parent, and look perfect. They decided that Lien and Kor would stay over for the rest of the week, since the future couple would be discussing grand wedding plans. Finally, the Queen looked at the clock. 

“It is getting late. Kelessa, Jilia, and Anneliese, go to your bed chambers. Astianna, show Kor his bedroom…it is right next to yours,” the Queen said. She got up, and reached out for Lien’s hand. They beamed at each other. “I shall lead my darling to his.” 

 

 

Asti woke up at her usual time in the morning: very, very, very early. Why? To practice her spells of course, when no one was paying attention, when everyone was sound asleep. Even the guards; they managed to fit in some snoozing time also, even on their watch. 

It was too bad Jerr couldn't stop by for a lesson today...Asti had found another useful book in the castle library that she wished to show him. Asti rummaged around under her bed, until she found her stack of spell books. 

She turned the yellowing pages, murmuring under her breath, reading each spell. Finally she found the one she was looking for. 

"Averien calosta. Emeri velan..." Asti chanted, moving her hands around as if she was stirring a large cauldron. She closed her eyes, remembering the text she had just read. Think of the place you must go, and there you shall be. Concentrate. Concentrate. 

Eyelids still closed, Asti felt as if her body was being swept away by the wind; as if she was being carried through the air. There was no ground beneath her bare feet. She felt dizzy; she yearned to open her eyes. Concentrate. Think of the place you must go, and there you shall be. Concentrate. Asti felt herself spinning, spinning... 

Asti landed with a thud on the ground. The spell had worked! She had teleported! She looked around excitedly. She was in the courtyard, exactly where she had wanted to be. The grass felt mushy beneath her feet; mud was oozing through her toes. Why hadn't she had brought shoes? No matter. She had teleported. 

Asti was ready to teleport again, when she heard someone behind her. Her heart stopped. She turned around to see... 

Asti gasped. Kor. With a sword. And shield. Asti was confused. She could tell Kor was also. They just stood there, for moments, staring at each other, until Asti burst out... 

"What are you doing here?"

Last edited by Kaedee on Sun Feb 21, 2010 1:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Astianna: Chapter Three

Postby midnightread on Tue Feb 16, 2010 4:00 pm

Hi Kaedee
I really like it and like before, nothing jumps out at me as wrong.
I think the way the story is structured is really good. I especially love the way the mc teleports right in front off Kor.
Can you pm me when you post more?
Thanks.
midnightread :elephant:
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A wise man does not need advice and a fool won't take it.
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Re: Astianna: Chapter Three

Postby CaitE Baloney on Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:56 am

I really enjoyed this chapter. I think that you leave off at a great point because I want to keep reading so badly. This is good that you keep us all on our toes and waiting. You also do a good job at keeping everything succinct and not allowing description to bog down the story.

Keep up the good work

-Cait
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