2. Leaving
I slapped my sweaty palm onto my chest. I could feel my heart flitting around like an angry bee. “It was just a dream,” I mumbled, resting my head on my knees in the cruel, new daylight. Sometimes my lucid dreams were a curse. They could take me to places whose greatness rivaled heaven’s, but when the nightmares hit, sometimes I wished for hell. But only that one nightmare rocked my subconscious.
Ever since Dad told me the story of how he found me and Aiden, I couldn’t go a week without having that awful dream at least four times. Letting go-of my mother, of my obscure past-didn’t seem like a feasible idea. Especially when my birthday-the day Dad found us-was fast approaching.
It had been an exceptionally chilly August twentieth, he had told me. Even though I had never seen my mother, I felt a great amount of longing when I visualized what she looked like. In Dad’s version of the story, she was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. I believed him; she could’ve been a red-eyed demon, and it wouldn’t have mattered. My mind would always paint her as the tortured beauty, but her absence made me feel unloved, an outcast in a sea of motherly affection.
I was conflicted. A wonderful father, a sweet but estranged brother, and a stunning place to call my home. My life was great, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was incomplete. I wasn’t satisfied with contentment; I wanted more than simplicity.
As I lay back down, the seemingly harsh red light from my alarm clock beamed the ungodly hour of 5:45 a.m. I closed my eyes, feeling myself slowly fall back into oblivion. Maybe this time my sleep would be dreamless.
“Asha! Are you alright?” Something ran into my door leaving an oblong dent. “Damn door,” my dad, Josiah, grumbled. He wrenched the door open, his wild, steel grey eyes searching for the threat. He’d obviously been asleep when I shouted. I could see long red lines streaking his face from the wrinkles on his pillow. His usually slicked back, short, brown hair stuck up all over his head, and his t-shirt was on backwards, hastily thrown on in an attempt to cover up.
My door was just one of the many casualties when it came to Dad’s abnormal strength. Why can’t he be normal like my friends’ dads? I asked myself. It felt like my mantra since it had been scrolling through my head for as long as I could remember. I had learned long ago to leave well enough alone when it came to Dad though. Me and Aiden weren’t idiots. We noticed that his hair never grew, and that where he should’ve developed crow’s feet many years ago, there was only smooth, milky white skin. Once, I’d told him that we were going to play salon. While I braided his hair, I inspected every strand for any signs of grey. He told us that he was nearly forty; he didn’t look a day over twenty-three.
A few years ago, I’d had the audacity to question him. To put it simply he’d told me off. ‘Who was I to question anyone? He was the adult, and he didn’t need to explain himself to a teenager. How dare I call him a liar in his own house?’ He’d stomped around the house shouting for hours. I’d definitely learned my lesson. Never again would I verbalize my thoughts when it came to his many oddities. But I knew. I knew that if he wasn’t hiding something he wouldn’t have snapped.
“Late much?” I mumbled into my pillow.
“Are you okay?” Couldn’t he see that I was trying to sleep?
“Dad, everything’s fine. It was just that nightmare.”
“I never should’ve told you that story.” Regret was scribbled across his face.
“There’s nothing you can do about it now. I’m leaving in a few days, so you won’t have to listen to me scream anymore.”
“You aren’t going anywhere,” he said, his voice strong with his decision. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and rubbed my ears. Was I hearing him right? The bed gave under his weight as he sat down, his face somber.
“Yeah, I am, Dad.”
“Asha, whatever I say goes, and you know that.” I knew it only too well. What I wanted didn’t matter. Dad dictated everything about my life, and even though I was going to high school, my input still didn’t matter. It probably never would.
“Why did you change your mind all of a sudden?” He probably wouldn’t be swayed, but I still felt like I deserved an explanation.
“You haven’t done anything wrong. As a matter of fact you’ve been nearly perfect. I just…I just don’t want you to leave.” He looked at me with his normal hard eyes, but I could see some emotion flitting just beneath the surface.
“Oh,” I said, my response sounding pathetic to my own ears. But to a degree, it made a bit of sense. Even though he was firm in his choice, I felt like he should hear what I had to say. I crawled to him and leaned my head against his cool shoulder. “I’ve gotta get away from here. Away from you. I love you, but I have to see the world. Explore the islands, and without you always peeking over my shoulder.” I poked his stomach, trying to lighten the mood. I frowned as my finger bent back. It was like poking a steel wall. “Besides, we’ve been planning this trip for nearly eternity. You can’t back out on me now.”
I could feel his back shaking beneath my cheek; he was trying to keep his emotions in check. Dads weren’t supposed to show this much emotion. At least mine wasn’t. He was supposed to be the tough guy who always knew how to make things right.
“I was wrong,” he mumbled. “I don’t think I should’ve have sent your brother away.” He ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to smooth it down. It just made it worse. “I thought it would be easier. You guys weren’t my real kids. She said it would be easy.” His voice was rough with tears. His breathing hitched, one solitary tear falling onto his prominent cheekbones. Was he crying? I didn’t think that it was possible. Who knew there was a marshmallow under all of that concrete? Certainly not me.
It sounded like he was talking more to himself than to me. I decided that it probably wasn’t the best time for my input. Briefly, I wondered who the ‘she’ was. It wasn’t like he’d had a girlfriend that stuck around after she found out about his two teenagers.
“We both know that I have to go.” Since his emotions were running high, I decided to take the low road and play them to my advantage. “I’ll be miserable if I stay. You’re barely even home.” He was always working at the hospital. I was surprised that he was actually here and asleep when I’d screamed. “You practically live at Luna General. What would I do here by myself?”
“The same thing you do now: Go to school,” he said, his voice a monotone. The corners of my lips turned down. Was he joking? I wanted to get away, and he wasn’t hearing me.
“Be serious, please.”
“Asha, there is nothing more important to me than your well-being. I’m just not sure if sending you away would be for the best.” Back was the stony-faced man I was used to. I loved him even if he shielded his emotions with a mask of stone. His straight thinking was something I often envied. He always made his decisions quickly and with no space for wiggle room. I’d never seen him have even a glimmer of indecision. Until now.
Ready for chapter two!
It's just so perfect the way it is. 
)
Gender:
Points: 8463
Reviews: 78