Topic ID: 4724
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Melodie
Senior Writer
Age: 21
Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Posts: 113
Reviews: 26
Country: USA
300 Points
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 Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 8:58 pm Post subject: A Day in the Life |
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Sitting in the cold and dark refrigerator, I feel the most comfortable. My little drawer is like a cave where I sit nestled in between the bologna and tortilla wraps with a sense of security.
But when the door opens and that horrid light flickers to life, I almost begin to perspire. The hand reaches in; I feel its threatening presence, and hopefully it grabs someone else, maybe the ketchup or the week old tuna salad (I hope.)
To my dismay, it’s my drawer that slides open. While I’m shaking in my little plastic bag, the warm, moist fingers clasp around me and pull me from my little hovel. I’m weeping now as the revoltingly, inconsiderate person nearly slams me down on the counter and reaches for a . . . no . . . a grater. I gulp and prepare myself for the excruciating pain. The evil contraption edges toward me and ever so slowly, my back is grated away onto the salad below me. I guess this all comes from being what I am, but there’s still no reason to force me to tears every couple of days. I’d like to hear a, “Sorry I mercilessly scraped the very skin from your back for my own eating pleasure,” but no, there’s never any of that.
When they’ve finished, I get put back in my little bag and into my drawer, knowing that I’ll be sore for the next few hours. But I will get over it after all is said and done. At least I’m back among the lunchmeat.
So I sit here in my drawer and contemplate how truly dreadful my life really is. Once I do get over it, it’ll happen again and again and so on and so forth. They all take and take from me for themselves and don’t say a word or even realize they’re doing it. Ironic isn’t it? I give; essentially, myself to all of them without a fight and they give absolutely nothing to me accept pain and my tragic fate.
My doom sums up to the fact that everyday I get smaller and smaller. Eventually I’ll be nothing. They’ll kill me off or forget about me and throw my moldy carcass in the trash bin. |
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"Sorry I didn't recognize you. I've changed a lot." Oscar Wilde |
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amoerizzle
Junior Writer
Gender: 
Age: 20
Joined: 25 Sep 2005
Posts: 47
Reviews: 19
300 Points
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| Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 4:18 am Post subject: |
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| I thought this piece was great! It really grabbed my attention and held on. I love those pieces that have so much great imagination poured in and leave you thinking "Wow! This person is creative!" I'm sorry that this wasn't much of a critique. But I really enjoyed it. |
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Melodie
Senior Writer
Age: 21
Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Posts: 113
Reviews: 26
Country: USA
300 Points
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| Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 3:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Thanks, I appreciate the compliments! |
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"Sorry I didn't recognize you. I've changed a lot." Oscar Wilde |
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Boni_Bee
An old fashioned girl
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 10 Aug 2005
Posts: 493
Reviews: 262
Country: Australia
300 Points
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| Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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This was good, but there's something about it I don't like...and I can't work out what it is  I think it needs a bit more emotion (whatever emotion cheese has), but yeah...... |
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May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy. |
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Lyrical
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 21
Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Posts: 15
Reviews: 8
Country: Aberystwyth
300 Points
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| Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 3:17 pm Post subject: |
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| I thought the beginning was really good, really effective. It didn't flow as well towards the end, but it certainly makes you think! It's nice to be made to see something from another point of view. |
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Into the caverns of tomorrow,
With just our flashlights and our love,
We must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge. |
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