Topic ID: 4702
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AngelBaby88
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 Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 7:41 pm Post subject: GO AWAY |
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Verse 1
Its another day to live
Im wondering how to survive
and waking up to same old same old
It feels like my lives put on hold
how Id like to sell my soul
to get this feeling out of my head
Chorus
Never changing, always the same
this feelings driving me insane
cant see past it see past you
so give me a chance to live
just go away, go, go aways (hold)
Verse2
Can you not give me a chance to breath
Im almost over this feeling covering me
like a blanket of depair and being the
only one left to suffer, need you to hold my head
up above the water.
Repeat chorus (1x)
So tired of being here with you
all you do is make me weep and cry
Im always suffacating, your killing me inside
so go away from me, I need this life to myself
Verse3
Just go away, cant you leave me alone
leave me go away from me, dont need you
anymore, anymore, oh oh no(hold)
Repeat chorus this time screaming and hold last note |
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Harley
awkward and innocent.
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| Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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It's kind of hard todistinguish the main theme in this song. I is about someone you love/d, or someone you hate, or a brother or sister driving you insane? The rhyme pattern isn't distinguished either.
| Quote: |
So tired of being here with you
all you do is make me weep and cry
Im always suffacating, your killing me inside
so go away from me, I need this life to myself |
Is this a bridge or is it the chorus with different lyrics?
I think it seems pretty cool if you can arrange it better- spacing it out helps you to read it and see where one verse ends and another begins. Hope I've helped.  |
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Angel17
Hidden thoughts
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| Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 8:54 pm Post subject: |
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Im almost over this feeling covering me
like a blanket of depair
This is a really good line. I like the way you compare an emotion to an object. i think it was one of the best lines. It didn't have too much feeling though but it was still pretty good! |
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niteowl
I'm an ol' king bee, honey,
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| Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with Harley. You should probably space between the parts. And there were quite a few spelling errors. "Breathe" in the first line of the second verse, "despair" in the 2nd line, "suffocating" in the bridge, and various contractions without apostrophes throughout, but those are fairly insignificant.
Overall, I liked it. Nice and angsty. |
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