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This thread was created on September 7, 2005
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Topic ID: 4514
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Turnstiles
Junior Writer
Gender: 
Age: 20
Joined: 04 Sep 2005
Posts: 20
Reviews: 7
Country: New Hampshire
300 Points
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 Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 11:40 pm Post subject: Embers |
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Would you mind if I kept this memory
’Till the end of time?
Remember you once you've forgotten me
One day, years from now
When I look behind
Try to recall a face that I can't see
What it should be
And as we drift nearer to the ending
Our time slips away
One day closer to our last goodbye
When I file away all my pictures
Tell myself someday
I'll find you again but I'll know its a lie
Call out but no reply
A flame that's just been extinguised
The embers stray
Desperately trying to stay alive
But I know it won't be long before
They smoulder away
And float off towards the skies
A lonely sunrise |
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Song Of The Day: "Two Cents Worth" by Kansas |
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Harley
awkward and innocent.
Speaker of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 16
Joined: 27 Jan 2005
Posts: 518
Reviews: 241
Country: scotland.
300 Points
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| Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 3:46 pm Post subject: |
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| To be honest, it does nothing for me. I can't imagine it set to music and flowing- it seems more like a poem than a song. I think you should add some sort of chorus, or a repeated line; there seems to be o central theme, no idea that runs right the way through it. I think if there was a chorus between these verses, it's be a rather nice song. =) |
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| This thread was created on September 7, 2005 |
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