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Dialogue Grammar

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Dialogue Grammar

Postby Snoink on Mon Jul 11, 2005 7:18 am

Dialogue Grammar

Memorize the following rules:

“That sucks,” he said.

“That sucks!” he said.

“Does that suck?” he said.

“That sucks,” he said, slapping his knee.

“That sucks!” he said, slapping his knee.

“Does that suck?” he said, tilting his head.

“That sucks.” He slapped his knee.

“That sucks!” He slapped his knee.

“Does that suck?” He tilted his head.

Anything which isn’t being said gets a new sentence. Anything which is being said is on the same sentence. Follow the same structure and you will be a happy writer.
“Come on Sadie, sit down. I think I have a granola bar in my pocket...” He grimaced and fished out a crumpled bag. He poked it. “Let me revise my previous statement; I have some granola in my pocket, and you can have it if you want.”

-- FREAK
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Postby J. Wilder on Mon Jul 11, 2005 9:15 pm

I hope people pay attention to this...I've read so many things where people don't follow these rules and use stuff like "That sucks." He said.
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Postby Rei on Mon Jul 11, 2005 10:09 pm

Oh yeah. When I read people writing like that, it's so annoying. It's a struggle to keep focused on the actual story. Sometimes I'll stop all together, depending on what kind of mood I'm in.
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Postby Crysi on Mon Jul 11, 2005 10:35 pm

Same here. It drives me absolutely crazy. I remember I was editing this one story for my friend and she did not know how to write dialogue correctly. Finally I gave up and wrote down the rules at the bottom of her paper, lol.
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Postby Elizabeth on Mon Jul 11, 2005 10:59 pm

How do you punctuate something where there is an interjection then they continue to speak.

"That totally"- he scratched his cheek "that totally sucks"

like how to you punctuate that? I like to do that but since I don't know how to I can't.
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Postby Snoink on Mon Jul 11, 2005 11:17 pm

The Black Rose wrote:How do you punctuate something where there is an interjection then they continue to speak.

"That totally"- he scratched his cheek "that totally sucks"

like how to you punctuate that? I like to do that but since I don't know how to I can't.


Well, technically you would not break that sentence up there. It's just awkward. However, you can get around it.

"That totally--" He stopped and scratched his cheek. "That totally sucks."

Remember, all punctuation must be inside the quotation. "'That totally'-" is not allowed.

Anyway, that's one way. There are dozens of other ways, however this sentence (That totally sucks) is not the correct one to demonstrate. That would sound much too awkward.

Elements of Style wrote:In dialogue, make sure that your attributives do not awkwardly interrupt a spoken sentence. Place them where the break would come naturally in speech--that is, where the speaker would pause for emphasis, or take a breath. The best test for locating an attributive is to speak the sentence aloud.

IS THIS:

"Now, my boy," he said, "we shall see how well you have learned your lesson."

NOT THIS:

"Now, my boy, we shall see," he said, "how well you have learned your lesson."

IS THIS:

What's more," he added, "they would never consent to the plan."

NOT THIS:

What's more, they would never," he added, "consent to the plan."


I hope that answers some questions.

Anyway, if you did want to break a sentence with a "he said" inside, then that's the way you do it.
Last edited by Snoink on Mon Jul 11, 2005 11:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“Come on Sadie, sit down. I think I have a granola bar in my pocket...” He grimaced and fished out a crumpled bag. He poked it. “Let me revise my previous statement; I have some granola in my pocket, and you can have it if you want.”

-- FREAK
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Postby Elizabeth on Mon Jul 11, 2005 11:26 pm

Ahh, ok that makes a bit more sense now thank you :D
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Postby Griffinkeeper on Mon Jul 11, 2005 11:46 pm

I definitely need this.
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Postby Elelel on Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:17 am

Ah! Nice to read that! I've been trying to work out all the rules from books I read. Whenever I get taught it in school, I don't get it completely. It's also nice to see I'd got most of them myself.
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Postby Emma on Sun Sep 18, 2005 11:50 am

I needed to know that. THANKYOU!
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Postby Rincewind on Sun Sep 18, 2005 7:16 pm

Boner
~The bandit’s body slumped to the ground, knees hitting first,followed by the rest.His dead weight pushed dust into the air in a swirling cloud.The blood flowed from his head,splicing like river canals,delaying slightly on pebbles before flowing on through the street.~
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Postby Griffinkeeper on Mon Sep 19, 2005 5:52 am

What the--?
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Postby J. Haux on Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:45 pm

Well. I'm glad this is on here.
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Postby JFW1415 on Sun Mar 02, 2008 1:04 am

Wow, this is REALLY old but I felt like adding this, since it bugs me to no end.

When someone new speaks, ADD A NEW PARAGRAPH.

This:

"Well, John, what do we have here?" my grandfather asked.

"Um...Well, you see, I was just..." I stuttered.


NOT:

"Well, John, what do you have here?" my grandfather asked. "Um...Well, you see, I was just..." I stammered.


Sorry about the lame example; I've been staring at the computer screen for too many hours. :P
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