Topic ID: 3725
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Incandescence
If you've nothing nice to say, come sit with me.
Epic Novelist
Gender: 
Age: 19
Joined: 22 Nov 2004
Posts: 3023
Reviews: 901
Country: USA
430 Points
|
 Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 7:18 pm Post subject: if ohio is for lovers, texas is for killers |
 |
|
It has been raining and now there is
a tumultuous darkness in the science lab --
there are dangerous chemicals and sharp objects,
and you don’t know who to make happy,
so now you will suffer the consequences because
you wouldn’t know a good thing if it slit your throat. |
_________________
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Firestarter
rear-admiral of the RED
Site Admin
Gender:
Age: 20
Joined: 19 Nov 2004
Posts: 6291
Reviews: 986
Country: Albion
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 8:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I absolutely love the last line. |
_________________
and if you promise to stay conscious
i will try and do the same
yeah, we might die from medication
but we sure killed all the pain |
|
| Back to top |
|
Chevy
science, again.
Master of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 18
Joined: 21 Nov 2004
Posts: 1613
Reviews: 660
Country: It's Complicated.
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 9:26 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I agree with Jack. But the title was my favorite probably.
Please don't trash this poem, Brad...or I when I come to Texas I'll...I'll...I don't know. |
_________________
"I could not escape a feeling that this was my own funeral, and you do not cry in that case."
- A Seperate Peace (John Knowles) |
|
| Back to top |
|
faith
Moderator
Gender:
Age: 22
Joined: 20 Nov 2004
Posts: 206
Reviews: 85
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 10:06 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| agreed, I want to legally marry the last line of this poem. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Shriek
thinking outrageously, i write in cursive.
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 20
Joined: 20 Feb 2005
Posts: 464
Reviews: 196
Country: USA
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 10:15 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Eep. I'm not a fan of this title at all--not just because I'm from Ohio and cannot stand the band Hawthorne Heights. I dislike the title because I've seen it done before by a bunch of idiots on myspace. And honestly, Brad, you have more intelligence and creativity crammed into your pinkie finger than most people on myspace have in their entire being--you could come up with something better than this. Plus, the title gives away the ending of the poem.
As for the poem itself, it was a little too short for my liking. Maybe I am just stupid, but I don't understand the entire science lab tie-in. You've got some great images and such here--I think that if you expand on this more, it could be a great piece. And of course, I am in agreement with both Jack and Morgan about the last line. |
_________________
i thought you were shallow, but then i fell in deep. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Rei
E.A. Extraordinaire
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 23
Joined: 01 Feb 2005
Posts: 3140
Reviews: 685
Country: Canada
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 11:58 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| My friends, I give you the results when an arrogant sadistic criminal becomes a poet. |
_________________
Please, sit down before you fall down.
Belloq, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" |
|
| Back to top |
|
Chevy
science, again.
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 18
Joined: 21 Nov 2004
Posts: 1613
Reviews: 660
Country: It's Complicated.
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2005 2:52 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I just realized that Shriek...it is on myspace a zillion times. |
_________________
"I could not escape a feeling that this was my own funeral, and you do not cry in that case."
- A Seperate Peace (John Knowles) |
|
| Back to top |
|
Chanson
the milky bars are on me
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 03 Mar 2005
Posts: 304
Reviews: 82
Country: dublin, ireland
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 7:02 pm Post subject: |
|
|
dude, that line is in fall out boy's song "my heart is the worst kind of weapon".
still a good line though. fits in with the poem. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Incandescence
If you've nothing nice to say, come sit with me.
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 22 Nov 2004
Posts: 3023
Reviews: 901
Country: USA
430 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 7:21 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Of course it is. This was a poem for my Media and Philosophy course, in which I combined modern 'teenage' lyrics. |
_________________
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson |
|
| Back to top |
|
Chanson
the milky bars are on me
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 03 Mar 2005
Posts: 304
Reviews: 82
Country: dublin, ireland
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 7:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
okey dokey, i was just happy because i read this poem and i was like "damn him, i wish i'd thought of that line. wait, i know that line." and then i remembered it was fob. which means you didn't think of the line which means my ego is restored.
where are the other lines from? i thought i recognized the used somewhere in there, but i could be horribly wrong. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Incandescence
If you've nothing nice to say, come sit with me.
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 22 Nov 2004
Posts: 3023
Reviews: 901
Country: USA
430 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 7:40 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| The Used, The Mars Volta, Fall Out Boy, The Early November, and The Juliana Theory. |
_________________
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson |
|
| Back to top |
|
Chevy
science, again.
Master of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 18
Joined: 21 Nov 2004
Posts: 1613
Reviews: 660
Country: It's Complicated.
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 7:54 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Incandescence wrote: |
| The Used, The Mars Volta, Fall Out Boy, The Early November, and The Juliana Theory. |
Those bands rock. Especially the last three...I don't like The Used much. |
_________________
"I could not escape a feeling that this was my own funeral, and you do not cry in that case."
- A Seperate Peace (John Knowles) |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
