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La Petite Dansuer
La Petite Dansuer

by oboemagic_1414 in Dramatic Poetry
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Lyric Poetry

This thread was created on October 13, 2008
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Heart ache

Topic ID: 37233
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ScottieRAWR   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:00 pm    Post subject: Heart ache Reply with quote

Who ever knew heart break could be so dark?



And yet, some part of me still carries on.



Once you made my heart sing, much as a lark.



But now, only rain falls upon my dawn.



My head in the clouds whene'er you were near.



Your lips, like blood, a shade of crimson red.



My cries of deep love fell upon deaf ears.



Once whole, now smashed, my heart almost feels dead.



The final blow, the beast, my heart now slain.



The thought of you brings long gone ghosts to life



Around my neck I feel, a bloody chain.



Yet you're the most hurt, the cutter with knife.



And now the everlasting sleep calls you.



Heartbreak brought me a pain, a pain that's new.
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vixeyt   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh now that. THAT was beautiful. Absolutly gorgeous. Wonderfully written and the feeling behind it. There's proper recognizable feeling behind it! So sad and sorrowful. Yet so (yes I am repeating myself) beautiful.

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DarkAngle11   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As a guy who has had his heart broken I have to say that the description is to a key! Nothing less! This poem is a scary thruth to the reality of love. I commend you for being able to create such a beautiful and descriptive poem! Before I wrap this up let me just say that love is not a bad thing. When it ends it's unbarably painful, but although my heart was broken once it has healed and now I have a wonderful, sweet, caring girl to love with all my heart.

Jacob

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Writing for love is a pas   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow. That was so incredibly deep. And it came frrom a guy. That is pure talent. Wonderful job, please keep writing.

_Writing for love is a passion_

A.K.A ~lexie~

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This thread was created on October 13, 2008

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