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This thread was created on October 13, 2008
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Heart ache
Topic ID: 37233
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ScottieRAWR
Junior Writer

Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 13 Oct 2008 Posts: 15 Reviews: 0 Country: Scotland 300 Points
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:00 pm Post subject: Heart ache |
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Who ever knew heart break could be so dark?
And yet, some part of me still carries on.
Once you made my heart sing, much as a lark.
But now, only rain falls upon my dawn.
My head in the clouds whene'er you were near.
Your lips, like blood, a shade of crimson red.
My cries of deep love fell upon deaf ears.
Once whole, now smashed, my heart almost feels dead.
The final blow, the beast, my heart now slain.
The thought of you brings long gone ghosts to life
Around my neck I feel, a bloody chain.
Yet you're the most hurt, the cutter with knife.
And now the everlasting sleep calls you.
Heartbreak brought me a pain, a pain that's new. |
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vixeyt
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 05 Jan 2007 Posts: 144 Reviews: 37 Country: United Kingdom 300 Points
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Oh now that. THAT was beautiful. Absolutly gorgeous. Wonderfully written and the feeling behind it. There's proper recognizable feeling behind it! So sad and sorrowful. Yet so (yes I am repeating myself) beautiful. |
_________________ Evil Is But A Perspective - Myself in roleplay as Dora Tonks
Is it the dark side of ambition or the ambitious side of darkness? - Myself during reflection |
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DarkAngle11
Junior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 13 Joined: 11 Oct 2008 Posts: 26 Reviews: 12
300 Points
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:03 am Post subject: |
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As a guy who has had his heart broken I have to say that the description is to a key! Nothing less! This poem is a scary thruth to the reality of love. I commend you for being able to create such a beautiful and descriptive poem! Before I wrap this up let me just say that love is not a bad thing. When it ends it's unbarably painful, but although my heart was broken once it has healed and now I have a wonderful, sweet, caring girl to love with all my heart.
Jacob |
_________________ TWILIGHT MOVIE 11*21*08
~Molly and Jake~ |
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Writing for love is a pas
Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 02 Apr 2008 Posts: 254 Reviews: 79 Country: none ya (US) 300 Points
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:05 pm Post subject: |
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Wow. That was so incredibly deep. And it came frrom a guy. That is pure talent. Wonderful job, please keep writing.
_Writing for love is a passion_
A.K.A ~lexie~ |
_________________ Why have a heart if a heart can be broken. Thats the one thing that can never be bought again. |
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| This thread was created on October 13, 2008 |
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Bartemius says, All my life I've wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific. - Jane Wagner
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