Topic ID: 37071
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Teague
don't touch me, i'm nanoing Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 16 Oct 2006 Posts: 2035 Reviews: 483 Country: A ship! With me crew! 392 Points
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Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 4:30 am Post subject: The Emo Blood Of My Emo Heart |
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My heart is lead
I'm sitting on my bed
My sheets are red
I wish I was dead
My eyes filled with dread
I wanted a piece of bread
Bread is my med
My feet are small children
(and that line totally works
because our artistic license is awesome)
w00t! Win.
By: Snoink & Teague |
_________________ "If you don't vote, you're a moron." - Craig Ferguson
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BigBadBear
Pokémon! Gotta catch 'em all! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 1720 Reviews: 615 Country: USA 937 Points
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JabberHut
the One and Only! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 04 Nov 2006 Posts: 1048 Reviews: 466 Country: Candyland 945 Points
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Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 4:58 am Post subject: |
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I'm your Number One fan. I'm totally going to print this out, frame it, and hang it on my wall for the world to see. And then, I'm going to make some fan-art and send it to my favoritest authors in existence.
~ Jabber ~ |
_________________ "I want to puke happiness all over you people..." –Suz on finishing Death Machine
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Recruiting all WoWers! -- Join today! |
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Nutty
The Red Dragon Druid Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 02 Mar 2007 Posts: 809 Reviews: 144 Country: Aotearoa New Zealand 927 Points
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Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:46 am Post subject: |
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Haha! this actually made me laugh.
Especially the "My feet are small children" Bit.
Delightfully random  |
_________________ "Please never have a character laugh mischievously, or cry sadly, or I shall have to hit you with a wet fish." -Brigid Lowry
Need a review?- http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic37478.html |
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Clo
electronica dance queen Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 19 Joined: 13 Jun 2008 Posts: 1079 Reviews: 265 Country: in an Octopus's Garden 1047 Points
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Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 1:16 pm Post subject: |
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| This made my heart tremble in a fit of emo-rific glory. |
_________________ I need someone to toss the confetti at the ticker tape parade. |
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azure
Junior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 35 Reviews: 27 Country: Philippines 300 Points
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Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 2:29 pm Post subject: |
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Oh my.. That was just the funniest poem i have ever read!! Great job!! I really felt the effort in making the whole well.. most of the poem rhyme  |
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Livinginfantasy
Oh Emm Gee Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 19 Mar 2008 Posts: 444 Reviews: 179 Country: Fantasy... DUH 597 Points
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 12:41 am Post subject: |
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When I first saw this title, I thought this was going to be some terrible attempt at trying to convey emotion.
And I was right... it was terribly funny.
Nice job guys!  |
_________________ Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late. |
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Cade
Stores writing utensils in a flowerpot. Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 13 Dec 2006 Posts: 1945 Reviews: 752 Country: Where the wild things are. 521 Points
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 2:59 am Post subject: |
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This makes me emo because I realize that people have written worse stuff than this and been serious about it.
Wow. |
_________________ "My pet, I've been to the devil, and he's a very dull fellow. I won't go there again, even for you..." |
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DarkAngle11
Junior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 13 Joined: 11 Oct 2008 Posts: 26 Reviews: 12
300 Points
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:43 am Post subject: |
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Ha ha loved it, i laughed when i read it and my mom looked at me like i was a freak
~M |
_________________ TWILIGHT MOVIE 11*21*08
~Molly and Jake~ |
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andimlovegalore
Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 26 Jun 2008 Posts: 545 Reviews: 111 Country: England 482 Points
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:40 am Post subject: |
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| Lmao, brilliant. |
_________________ "Just imagine the headlines 'Howard Moon, colon, Explorer'. Got a ring to that don't it?"
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Snoink
Snuggly Writer of Legend

 Gender:  Age: 20 Joined: 02 Apr 2005 Posts: 8728 Reviews: 2140 Country: USA 2134 Points
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:13 am Post subject: |
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The word "was" should be "were" actually. *does grammar tweak*
Also, there's no punctuation except for the last line. Is this poetic effect or you being lazy?  |
_________________ "So, Obama calls McCain erratic. Well, I call Obama a squirrel." -- Rush Limbaugh
Video Critiques by Yours Truly.  |
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Teague
don't touch me, i'm nanoing Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 16 Oct 2006 Posts: 2035 Reviews: 483 Country: A ship! With me crew! 392 Points
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:19 am Post subject: |
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Why are you criticising your own poem, Snoinkus?
Just edit it if it bugs you so much.
Teague
x |
_________________ "If you don't vote, you're a moron." - Craig Ferguson
"Thank you for choosing Saint Razorblade Stick Beatings, where we really stick it to you - with a stick!" -Mattster
"Begone, earth logic! You have no place here!" -Black Cat Sachiko |
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CrisCaraway
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 20 Sep 2008 Posts: 155 Reviews: 15 Country: under a rock in Tanzania 684 Points
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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Ha Ha Ha
This really made me get in touch with my inner emo. Seriously well done, real funny |
_________________ Little amuses the simple |
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wisemann210
♫☼♫☼♫☼♫☼♫☼♫☼♫☼♫☼ Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 07 Jun 2008 Posts: 506 Reviews: 77 Country: USA 547 Points
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:12 pm Post subject: |
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Um...
... I thought you weren't supposed to use full caps in titles.
Anyway i thought it was... um...
---Jon---
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ScottieRAWR
Junior Writer

Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 13 Oct 2008 Posts: 15 Reviews: 0 Country: Scotland 300 Points
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:28 pm Post subject: |
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That certainly was one of the most random andfunny things I've ever read.
Please keep posting. |
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