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by staplestoo in Action/Adventure Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Dramatic Poetry

This thread was created on October 10, 2008
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The Emo Blood Of My Emo Heart Goto page 1, 2  Next

Topic ID: 37071
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Teague   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 4:30 am    Post subject: The Emo Blood Of My Emo Heart Reply with quote

My heart is lead

I'm sitting on my bed

My sheets are red

I wish I was dead

My eyes filled with dread

I wanted a piece of bread

Bread is my med

My feet are small children

(and that line totally works

because our artistic license is awesome)

w00t! Win.



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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 4:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think this would have worked with fifty or so of the evil looking emoticons.

All in all, nice work. I enjoyed every excruciatingly painful rhyme.

-Jared

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 4:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm your Number One fan. I'm totally going to print this out, frame it, and hang it on my wall for the world to see. And then, I'm going to make some fan-art and send it to my favoritest authors in existence. Very Happy

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha! this actually made me laugh.
Especially the "My feet are small children" Bit.
Delightfully random Very Happy

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 1:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This made my heart tremble in a fit of emo-rific glory.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 2:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh my.. That was just the funniest poem i have ever read!! Great job!! I really felt the effort in making the whole well.. most of the poem rhyme Smile
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 12:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I first saw this title, I thought this was going to be some terrible attempt at trying to convey emotion.

And I was right... it was terribly funny.

Nice job guys! Smile

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 2:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This makes me emo because I realize that people have written worse stuff than this and been serious about it.

Wow.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ha ha loved it, i laughed when i read it and my mom looked at me like i was a freak Very Happy
~M

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lmao, brilliant.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I wish I was dead


The word "was" should be "were" actually. *does grammar tweak*

Also, there's no punctuation except for the last line. Is this poetic effect or you being lazy? Razz

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why are you criticising your own poem, Snoinkus?

Just edit it if it bugs you so much. Razz

Teague
x

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ha Ha Ha Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

This really made me get in touch with my inner emo. Seriously well done, real funny

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Um...

... I thought you weren't supposed to use full caps in titles.

Anyway i thought it was... um... Very Happy


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Very Happy

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That certainly was one of the most random andfunny things I've ever read.
Please keep posting.
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