Topic ID: 36936
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| Is my Pen Name good? |
| Yeah, it's good. =] |
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| No. ^^; (Suggestions?) |
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| Total Votes : 2 |
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LOSTie
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 Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 2:35 am Post subject: Winter Road |
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Winter Road
By E.C Branwen
How cold and gray the world may seem,
Down the road less traveled we’re rarely seen.
To go down a road that never ends,
Forever searching for curving bends.
The frozen snow nips at my feet.
And the whole world seems very bleak.
Things are now shells of what they once were.
And the once blue sky begins to blur.
Things were once innocent, I’m sure you can tell.
Green, blue and yellow, now are fragile shells.
I never thought the colors would fade.
I kept some of the colors, the rest are in a grave.
Now I travel down this path that I myself made… |
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LOSTie
Novice
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Age: 16
Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 11
Reviews: 0
Country: U.S
300 Points
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| Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 2:36 am Post subject: Pen Name? |
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~~~
E.C Branwen is a Pen Name that I am considering using.
I dunno if it's good or not.
I want my Pen Name to start with an E. and end with Branwen but I don't know what letter to put inbetween. |
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StolenHearts.
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 06 Sep 2008
Posts: 125
Reviews: 25
Country: Oahu
300 Points
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| Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 3:16 am Post subject: |
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Well first off you must do two reviews when submitting a piece, just thought I'd inform you since you haven't done any reviews. I really liked this it was full of meaning and flowed really good.
| Quote: |
How cold and gray the world may seem,
Down the road less traveled we’re rarely seen.
To go down a road that never ends,
Forever searching for curving bends.
The frozen snow nips at my feet.
And the whole world seems very bleak.
Things are now shells of what they once were.
And the once blue sky begins to blur.--I really liked this part 
Things were once innocent, I’m sure you can tell.
Green, blue and yellow, now are fragile shells.
I never thought the colors would fade.
I kept some of the colors, the rest are in a grave.
Now I travel down this path that I myself made…--really good last lines. |
You should make it longer, some people don't really like short poem. Though I'm not one of those people, I'm fine with any length of poem as long as it's good ;] Maybe work on using more powerful words to make your readers think. Good luck with future writing pieces, inform me if you edit this i love to see what people come up with
With all due respect,
Mackenzie
P.S.Great pen name :] |
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blink. breath.
beat. blink, blink.
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adriangarcia
Senior Writer
Gender: 
Age: 18
Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 104
Reviews: 70
Country: United States of America
300 Points
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| Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 4:35 am Post subject: |
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First of all, I'm not going to comment on a pen name. I prefer you keeping YOUR name. But, that's just me. 
Second of all, I really like this poem. The poem flowed very well, the rhyming was exquisite, and the effect was subtle yet powerful.
Third of all, it really seemed like your were inspired by Robert Frost. Perhaps, a little too much. I saw a lot of similarities between your writing subject and his. I might steer clear of "nature" for that very reason, at least, until you can writer a poem without such a visible connecting thread.
Good poem though. One of the better ones on this site. |
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LOSTie
Novice
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 11
Reviews: 0
Country: U.S
300 Points
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| Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:02 am Post subject: |
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| adriangarcia wrote: |
First of all, I'm not going to comment on a pen name. I prefer you keeping YOUR name. But, that's just me.
Second of all, I really like this poem. The poem flowed very well, the rhyming was exquisite, and the effect was subtle yet powerful.
Third of all, it really seemed like your were inspired by Robert Frost. Perhaps, a little too much. I saw a lot of similarities between your writing subject and his. I might steer clear of "nature" for that very reason, at least, until you can writer a poem without such a visible connecting thread.
Good poem though. One of the better ones on this site. |
Wow. Thanks. =.
And...I've never read any Robert Frost poems. ^^; But then again I'm not really a poem person...
So is it a good or bad thing that I write similiar to a person whom I've never read before? ._.; |
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LOSTie
Novice
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 11
Reviews: 0
Country: U.S
300 Points
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| Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:04 am Post subject: |
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| StolenHearts. wrote: |
Well first off you must do two reviews when submitting a piece, just thought I'd inform you since you haven't done any reviews. I really liked this it was full of meaning and flowed really good.
| Quote: |
How cold and gray the world may seem,
Down the road less traveled we’re rarely seen.
To go down a road that never ends,
Forever searching for curving bends.
The frozen snow nips at my feet.
And the whole world seems very bleak.
Things are now shells of what they once were.
And the once blue sky begins to blur.--I really liked this part
Things were once innocent, I’m sure you can tell.
Green, blue and yellow, now are fragile shells.
I never thought the colors would fade.
I kept some of the colors, the rest are in a grave.
Now I travel down this path that I myself made…--really good last lines. |
You should make it longer, some people don't really like short poem. Though I'm not one of those people, I'm fine with any length of poem as long as it's good ;] Maybe work on using more powerful words to make your readers think. Good luck with future writing pieces, inform me if you edit this i love to see what people come up with
With all due respect,
Mackenzie
P.S.Great pen name :] |
Sorry. I'm really,really new to this site. ^^;
Thanks for the advice. =) |
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lordgluzman
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 30 Sep 2008
Posts: 121
Reviews: 28
Country: USA
435 Points
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 4:03 am Post subject: |
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It was really nice and good. The words and the rhyming were awsome! I dont know if you have grammer mestakes but I couldnt fined them.
Just to give you a hint. Try to write long poems. It will improve your lazyness, talents of poem, songs, and storys. I promise + it will be more interesting!
But I loved your poem, Great Job |
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Blood is red
But Heaven is blue
The Devil will fined out
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azure
Junior Writer
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Age: 18
Joined: 22 Sep 2007
Posts: 35
Reviews: 27
Country: Philippines
300 Points
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 2:26 pm Post subject: |
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I like the flow of your poem. It doesn't sound forced and it feels natural. It's a really nice piece. You should keep up the good work!
I have to agree with adriangarcia that your poem does remind me of Robert Frost. Have you heard of the poem The Road Not Taken? It's by Robert Frost. You should read it, it's really good.
Regarding the length of your poem.. I think it's okay. Some people might prefer longer poems but I suggest that you stick to the length you're more comfortable in. There's no point in forcing yourself to make a long poem which will sound forced but that's just me Good luck on your writing!
As to your question regarding your Pen name... It's nice Though if you want suggestions, you can use your name's initials too |
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KaryRyze
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Age: 17
Joined: 04 Sep 2008
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300 Points
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 5:27 am Post subject: |
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Wonderfully written. It seemed a little off in one or two lines, like an extra syllable, but that could just be me. xD I have no idea who Robert Frost is, but you must be pretty good to compare to him.  |
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LOSTie
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Age: 16
Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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Country: U.S
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| Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 1:59 am Post subject: |
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| KaryRyze wrote: |
| Wonderfully written. It seemed a little off in one or two lines, like an extra syllable, but that could just be me. xD I have no idea who Robert Frost is, but you must be pretty good to compare to him. |
I R poet and I didn't know it! :3 |
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LOSTie
Novice
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Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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Country: U.S
300 Points
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| Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:01 am Post subject: |
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| lordgluzman wrote: |
It was really nice and good. The words and the rhyming were awsome! I dont know if you have grammer mestakes but I couldnt fined them.
Just to give you a hint. Try to write long poems. It will improve your lazyness, talents of poem, songs, and storys. I promise + it will be more interesting!
But I loved your poem, Great Job |
Errm.
Thanks. =3
I'll try to write something long one day.
But it'll probably be a song. ^^ |
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LOSTie
Novice
Gender:
Age: 16
Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 11
Reviews: 0
Country: U.S
300 Points
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| Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:06 am Post subject: |
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| azure wrote: |
I like the flow of your poem. It doesn't sound forced and it feels natural. It's a really nice piece. You should keep up the good work!
I have to agree with adriangarcia that your poem does remind me of Robert Frost. Have you heard of the poem The Road Not Taken? It's by Robert Frost. You should read it, it's really good.
Regarding the length of your poem.. I think it's okay. Some people might prefer longer poems but I suggest that you stick to the length you're more comfortable in. There's no point in forcing yourself to make a long poem which will sound forced but that's just me Good luck on your writing!
As to your question regarding your Pen name... It's nice Though if you want suggestions, you can use your name's initials too |
Uber-thanks. ^^
And I think I've read that poem before!!
That's like his most famous one right? =.
Wow, it's neat to be compared to him. ^^;
And nice suggestion but I don't think M.K Branwen would sound that good really. xD
M.K makes me think of Mary Kate (which really is my first name. ^^') and Ashley..or a some random disc jockey. 0_o;? |
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