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The Edge of the World; Prologue - Chapter 3
The Edge of the World; Prologue - Chapter 3

by Explosive_Pen in Fantasy Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Lyric Poetry

This thread was created on October 2, 2008
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Don't Forget

Topic ID: 36759
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thevoiceinside   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:10 am    Post subject: Don't Forget Reply with quote

Hello Everyone!



Here's a song that I wrote. 

It's about how you shouldn't forget your purpose in life. 

This song represents what I stand for and holds personal meaning to me as a person. 

I hope you enjoy it Smile



------------------------------------------------------





Don’t Forget…



You crossed the veil because you believed

Never doubting, you haven’t been deceived     

But now you’re sitting here…

Thinking about what you’ve become

And you question“Why?”

But He’s still near

You need proof?  You hold it dear

It’s in your heart, It’s who you are

That’s what faith is for



You say one time won’t make a difference

Take that drink of beer, smoke that cigarette  

But still, deep down, you fear

Cause He knows every breath you take 

He knows every mistake you make

But He knew what you would face

He bled, He cried

That’s why He died 



Don’t forget…

Cause He’s catching your every tear

He knows when you’re scared 

He’s watching for when you fall 

And when you fail

He’s reaching out, you’re reaching up

Take His hand. He’ll never lead you into despair

Don’t forget. It’s who you are, His child 



Their words, their taunts…

It hurts more than you show

But He wants you to know, you’re never alone

Your journey isn’t over, it’s only begun

The wars, the pains, 

The fears are all of the world

Forgive your neighbors and love the enemy

It’s what you’ve been taught

But still, you find yourself standing…

Looking in the mirror, you don’t like who is Looking back cause…

The mirror fogged up and all you see

Is who you’re not

But it’s so clear…it’s so clear

You’re God’s child



Lying awake, tossing and turning

Your yearning desires are made known

On your knees, you pray…

Asking for what seems like the impossible

He hears every word

And that’s when you know, you’re loved

You feel it in your heart, in your soul

You can’t deny what you now know 



Don’t forget…

Cause He’s catching your every tear

He knows when you’re scared 

He’s watching for when you fall 

And when you fail

He’s reaching out, you’re reaching up

Take His hand. He’ll never lead you into despair

So don’t forget. It’s who you are, His child 



Stand tall, stand true

He knew what you would face

He bled, He cried

That’s why He died

Do you remember? You hold it dear

It’s in your heart, It’s who you are

That’s what faith is for

So don’t forget…

Don’t forget



------------------------------------------------------



I hope you liked it Smile

Cheers!

-thevoiceinside

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CoolCatElly   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 11:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey,ok, content wise, I loved it
BUT
Your lines are a bit too long for me, and they don't flow that well. It would have been
nice if there was some rhyme and more rhythm.
But not bad Smile
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olivia1987uk   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 1:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey thevoiceinside!

I have to say i really enjoyed reading this, thoght I think i'd much prefer hearing it since it has a song!
You can't judge the rhyme or the flow as if its poetry because it really does depend on how its sung...

It's so emotive with language you don't always get in conventional songs...I'm an indie girl myself so I'm used to unusual lyrics...and I like this because it actually means something!

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lordgluzman   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 12:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really liked it. This song remindes me of who I am. It actually work out really well as a rock song. I think you should maybe ryhme more. Sorry but I like ryhme. Other wise you did it awsome.
God Bless you!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 2:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Remembering your purpose is very important, otherwise, why are we here?
I really enjoyed this! I do agree, some of the lines are bit too long, however, if you were to sing it, I could completely disagree. But to the eye, they don't flow too well, but like I mentioned, the ear might think differently, if you catch my drift.
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 5:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's really good and I agree- I'd love to hear it actually sung. I like the meaning behind it and what you're trying to say. Maybe you could have added a little more rhyming, but it's good in any case Very Happy

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This thread was created on October 2, 2008

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