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As if I was in Love Chp 3
As if I was in Love Chp 3

by pshhxhoney in Romantic Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Lyric Poetry

This thread was created on September 27, 2008
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Inspiration

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piepiemann22   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 2:27 am    Post subject: Inspiration Reply with quote

A simple song begins to play,

the wind blows across the meadow.

The critters, they march,

the birds, they sing,

and neither big, nor the small,

can escape it's growing wonders.



The sun, it shines, to all below,

as everything comes to one.

All are together, and all is the same

to this lovely melody.

Even man, destroyer to all,

can come and find it's beauty.



Natures enemies,

and old friends,

they all come to listen.

The song calms the storm,

and sooths the heart,

problems now far away.



Even I, the simple man,

feels intrigued by this lovely tone.

Never before, had such a thing,

ever touched me so.

Before it all sounded the same,

now it is all so diverse.



The birds sing the melody,

animals stepping in beat.

The stream, it's moving,

the sound of the wind melding it together.

Why had we never noticed before?

Maybe it was always there.



So to this, I think we know,

how art is inspired thus. 

For in the end, it's nothing more,

but paint and music to us,

but to the painter and the player,

this is true wonder and bliss.

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Last edited by piepiemann22 on Sun Sep 28, 2008 11:12 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Angel of Death   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 9:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Tony!!

This is beautiful and I can't believe no one commented on this. The only thing that I saw wrong was the title. It should be Inspiration, love. Well this was flawless and as always I'll pick out my favorite stanza.

Quote:
So to this, I think we know,
how art is inspired thus.
For in the end, it's nothing more,
but paint and music to us,
but to the painter and the player,
this is true wonder and bliss.


It just flowed nicely and the way you wrote this poem was so vivid and peaceful, that the way you ended it just became such a highlight for me. Job well done, as always.
Keep writing!

~Angel

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Last edited by Angel of Death on Mon Sep 29, 2008 2:40 pm; edited 1 time in total
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grimy89098   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 6:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow nice poem

as angel of death said its pretty much flawless, really cool poem

what shows out is that its so true

-grimy

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 10:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, amazing poem. I think that was amazing. The poem painted wonderful and intriguing images in my head. The song was clear. I felt at peace. This an amazing poem, that speaks truth and love. The way it flowed was nice. I loved the way you described the scenes and the sounds. I love the way you hint at the changes we feel. I just loved.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 6:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is simply amazing. It's really wonderful and beautiful, and has a lot of good imagery. I can't see any errors in this poem. The flow was great, the description was lovely and the structure was good. I'll give you 5 stars!

Keep it up and keep writing!
Smile

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This thread was created on September 27, 2008

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