Topic ID: 36567
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piepiemann22
For Honor Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 17 Dec 2006 Posts: 1368 Reviews: 178 Country: USA 300 Points
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Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 2:27 am Post subject: Inspiration |
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A simple song begins to play,
the wind blows across the meadow.
The critters, they march,
the birds, they sing,
and neither big, nor the small,
can escape it's growing wonders.
The sun, it shines, to all below,
as everything comes to one.
All are together, and all is the same
to this lovely melody.
Even man, destroyer to all,
can come and find it's beauty.
Natures enemies,
and old friends,
they all come to listen.
The song calms the storm,
and sooths the heart,
problems now far away.
Even I, the simple man,
feels intrigued by this lovely tone.
Never before, had such a thing,
ever touched me so.
Before it all sounded the same,
now it is all so diverse.
The birds sing the melody,
animals stepping in beat.
The stream, it's moving,
the sound of the wind melding it together.
Why had we never noticed before?
Maybe it was always there.
So to this, I think we know,
how art is inspired thus.
For in the end, it's nothing more,
but paint and music to us,
but to the painter and the player,
this is true wonder and bliss. |
_________________ With a dream we find a purpose. With a purpose we are contemt. Being contempt lets us see. With sight we understand. With understanding we know. With knowledge we live.
~By me Anthony Delia
Last edited by piepiemann22 on Sun Sep 28, 2008 11:12 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Angel of Death
I love you. I swear I do. Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 04 Nov 2007 Posts: 872 Reviews: 409 Country: Where the big star in the sky doesn't leave 1533 Points
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Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 9:33 pm Post subject: |
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Hey Tony!!
This is beautiful and I can't believe no one commented on this. The only thing that I saw wrong was the title. It should be Inspiration, love. Well this was flawless and as always I'll pick out my favorite stanza.
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So to this, I think we know,
how art is inspired thus.
For in the end, it's nothing more,
but paint and music to us,
but to the painter and the player,
this is true wonder and bliss. |
It just flowed nicely and the way you wrote this poem was so vivid and peaceful, that the way you ended it just became such a highlight for me. Job well done, as always.
Keep writing!
~Angel |
_________________ "Like the apple that passed through both the lips of Adam and Eve, you are forbidden. So if I were to pick you from a garden that has been coveted by another man, then I shall have hell to pay for my sins,"-Me
Last edited by Angel of Death on Mon Sep 29, 2008 2:40 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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grimy89098
Writer

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 05 Jul 2008 Posts: 63 Reviews: 15 Country: Australia 356 Points
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Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 6:51 am Post subject: |
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wow nice poem
as angel of death said its pretty much flawless, really cool poem
what shows out is that its so true
-grimy |
_________________ "practice makes perfect but no body's perfect so why bother practice?" -Jye Arbon (my friend)
"everybody's entitled to be stupid, but you're abusing the privilege." -people in my class |
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CJeanene13
Junior Writer
 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 23 Sep 2008 Posts: 34 Reviews: 14 Country: Where I live... 300 Points
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Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 10:22 pm Post subject: |
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| Wow, amazing poem. I think that was amazing. The poem painted wonderful and intriguing images in my head. The song was clear. I felt at peace. This an amazing poem, that speaks truth and love. The way it flowed was nice. I loved the way you described the scenes and the sounds. I love the way you hint at the changes we feel. I just loved. |
_________________ I don't know anyone that is normal. If we were all normal we wouldn't be different. ~ME |
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Lil_Pau
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 13 Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 221 Reviews: 100 Country: Land of Eternal Dawn 363 Points
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 6:32 am Post subject: |
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This is simply amazing. It's really wonderful and beautiful, and has a lot of good imagery. I can't see any errors in this poem. The flow was great, the description was lovely and the structure was good. I'll give you 5 stars!
Keep it up and keep writing!
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_________________ Victory is the result of a fight, determination is its base.
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