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Chapter Thirteen
“Why do you even do it?” Jasper had asked.
He was sprawled on my bed while I washed my face. “Do what?” I replied. I grabbed the wash cloth that was set next to my sink. I pumped the foamy soap onto the washcloth and started scrubbing at my face. At first, it hurt, and then the small beads opened, letting out exfoliating beauty.
He was suddenly behind me, his long white arms wrapped around my waste. “All the makeup, what’s the point?” He asked, gesturing to my face in the mirror. “You just take it off anyway.”
I sighed. In the mirror, all signs of the different ‘Genna’ had faded away. My eyes were back to their normal, non puffy brown. My cheeks, now covered with blue soap, were only red because I was rubbing them. I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that I would be more excited to see Peter than Jasper. It just didn’t make any sense.
After splashing my face with the cool water, I pulled my curly hair back into a messy pony tail. Jasper wrapped his arms tighter around me and lifted me up onto the sink. I wobbled in his arms a bit before balancing on the small surface. He looked into my eyes and saw something. What could he possible had seen?
“I like starting fresh in the morning,” I said, answering his almost forgotten question. “It’s hard to make myself look nice when I have black smeared everywhere when I wake up.” I laughed half heartedly.
He shook his head. “That’s not what I meant.” He brushed his fingers across my cheek. “You are so beautiful underneath it all.” Jasper closed his eyes and leaned his head into mine, my body quickly responded to his. I closed my eyes, wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned in for a kiss. However, my lips were left untouched.
A flood of rejection washed over me and I snapped my eyes open. He hadn’t moved away from me, his eyes were still closed.
“Jasper?” I whispered.
Slowly, he reached up behind his neck and took a hold of my hands. He brought them to his face and kissed them each individually. “No, that was wrong for me to say.” He placed my hands in my lap and backed away.
I reached out for him but he didn’t take the bait. I scooted myself off the sink and cupped his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. “Why?” I asked.
He let out a sigh, then smiled that same smile I had seen the first time I saw his face in my dreams. “No amount of words can describe the way you look. There aren’t enough words in the world to describe the way I see you. Beautiful, it just doesn’t seem to be enough.”
I took his hand in mine and led him back into the bedroom. I sat on my bed, he stayed standing. I scooted closer to the middle to give him the hint to do the same, but he stayed away. “Do I smell or something?” I snapped. I mentally slapped myself, that wasn’t very lady like.
I fell asleep with a smile on my face that night. Jasper’s arms stayed tight around me until I slipped into my personal abstract world inside my head. Where no one exists unless I say they do. My realm, my creed, my salvation.
At first, it stayed dark. I knew it was a dream, it would soon change. As I waited, I saw a light, a fire maybe, which lit a narrow stone path. The path led around the light to somewhere off in the distance, in the dark. I walked down the path until I was next to the light, which I now knew was a small bon fire.
There was a shadowed figure sitting beside the fire. His knees were bent up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. He had strangely familiar shaggy blonde hair. It was long and wavy. His eyes moved from the fire to me, and then I realized who it was.
Cameron stood up and took three strides over to me. He smiled, but only a little. There was a hint of sadness in his light brown eyes.
“You look like hell, Genna.” He smiled and held out his hand. “Would you like to come with me?”
I refused Cameron’s hand, even in my dream, that night. Like in real life, he was furious with me. He took my arm anyway. He pulled me along the path as I struggled under his iron tight grip.
“When did you get so strong?” I almost yelled at him. He ignored me and continued to pull. He was walking so fast, it was almost a run for me.
We stopped abruptly in my kitchen. It didn’t really fit right. My father, brother, and I were sitting at the table eating dinner. They were eating dinner; I was merely playing with my food.
“Is there something you’re not telling me?” my father asked. I jumped at his voice.
“What do you mean?” My body asked innocently.
From behind the counter, Cameron and I stood, just watching them as if we were watching some cable TV show.
My father cleared his throat and eyed Bailey. Bailey hid himself behind his food and continued to look down. “Something happened last time I was gone and I don’t want it to happen again.” He eyed Bailey again.
What could he be talking about, I asked myself. By the looks of things, my body at the table was asking herself the same question. Her face was contorted into a frown. It was almost painful to look at.
She looked sick. She was paler than I remembered my own reflection looking. Her skin was tight around her face. Her cheek bones looked like they could rip out of her translucent skin at any moment. Her hair looked faded and dead, tied back into a pony tail. Her subtle body seemed so brittle; you could see most of her bones sticking out. The girl at the table had dark purple circle under her eyes, they didn’t look human. She looked like a living corpse.
I shook my head a few times. This couldn’t be what I look like. I am healthy, she isn’t.
Cameron finally moved. He turned to me, “This is your future, Genna. You are depressed, sick, and dead inside and out.” He sighed and looked at the horror show to our left. “Is this what you really want?” He asked.
I shook my head. I could feel the tears brimming over the edges of my eyes. This isn’t what I wanted. I just wanted to loose a few pounds, not like this. This is bad, wrong. This is horrible.
As if he could hear my thoughts, Cameron said, “That’s not the worst of it. Keep watching.”
I looked back at the table and my eyes shot open. I knew the signs. They were as clear as day. The sickly looking girl at the table started to sweat. It glistened in the light supplied by the small chandelier on the ceiling. The girl gripped her chest before she started to go out of control.
She flung her arms up and her whole body was vibrating. She fell face first into her food then slipped onto the floor. Her body was still jerking this way and that way as she lay here.
Bailey shot up from his chair and ran over to the girl. He didn’t touch her. “Genna?” His voice cracked, “Dad, do something!”
I heard her head crack against the floor and saw the trickles of blood escape from the wound. My dad finally got up then, grabbing a towel from the counter and came to her aid.
After she stopped jerking around, he pushed Bailey out of his way and put her head into his lap, placing the towel on her head.
I had completely forgotten Cameron until he touched the back of my hand with his pinkie. “It doesn’t have to end this way. There is still time to fix it.”
End?
My cheeks flared red with anger. My life couldn’t end this way, not when I was so young. My whole body felt like it was on fire. My heart was pounding so hard against my chest; I thought it might break through my ribs right into the kitchen floor. The girl stopped moving on the floor, and my father started to weep. Bailey stared, wide eyed.
I doubled over and ended up on my knees. I placed the backs of my hands on the cool linoleum floor, just to get some comfort. I laid my cheek against the floor and sighed. Everything was back to normal with my body, even my heart rate.
Jasper helped then, or at least, that’s what I would have liked to believe. It felt like a cool blanked was wrapped around me. I sighed and pictured him taking me into his cool arms and just holding me until I was better.
“Genevieve, are you okay?” I couldn’t tell who asked. I was too deep in thought. The voice was too deep and rough to be Bailey’s but too sweet to be my father’s. That only left one person left.
“Jasper,” I sighed.
I tried to sit up, but cool hands pressed down on my shoulders. “Take it easy, Genevieve,” Jasper’s soft tone whispered. “Are you okay now?” He asked again.
“Why do you keep asking me that?” I asked, sweepingly opening my eyes.
He reached his hand to my face and put a lock of my hair behind my ear. “You were thrashing yourself around a bit.”
I nodded. That was quiet a dream.
Jasper looked different that day. He seemed more jumpy, more alert. His hair was the same, and so weren’t his cloths. Just his face seemed a little less happy to see me.
I quickly raised my hands to my hair, thinking it must look terrible. He only smiled and took my hands away and brought them to his face. “You are such a silly girl,” he laughed.
