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This thread was created on September 13, 2008
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Short poem: The escape
Topic ID: 35950
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Lord Anzius
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Gender: 
Age: 13
Joined: 11 Aug 2008
Posts: 623
Reviews: 80
Country: Finland I think?
482 Points
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 Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 5:54 pm Post subject: Short poem: The escape |
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This is continue for head man's hill
He shacked out of the guards grips.
He ran around then waved goodbye,
He ran, he ran and oh he ran some more,
ran from his bill,
on the head man's hill.
Over the mountains and through the lakes,
up the trees, and down the slopes.
He ran to freedom,
He ran away from the execution,
that would have been his bill on The head man's hill. |
_________________
Boredom is a death sentence.
That is why I try to be crazy.
Crazy people aren't bored.
I wish I were more crazy.
Last edited by Lord Anzius on Sun Sep 14, 2008 12:08 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Fellow
Senior Writer
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Age: 17
Joined: 04 Sep 2008
Posts: 187
Reviews: 58
Country: Romania
180 Points
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| Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 10:17 am Post subject: Review |
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Amazingly done. This would be a great story written in prose. Maybe you should consider wrapping it in a story. It can become very powerful. I read your first part of the poem and l loved it but this is more than great. Nothing to point out. The review ... hell with it. I`m not reviewing what it`s perfect.
| Quote: |
Took a step,
closer to headman's hill,
If he would have had the will,
Surely he would have not had to kill.
The man who was not even bad.
But he did kill the poor lad,
And now he must suffer his bill,
On then head man's hill. |
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Life is a song. You just need to know how to sing it.
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Lord Anzius
Speaker of the Forum
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 11 Aug 2008
Posts: 623
Reviews: 80
Country: Finland I think?
482 Points
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| Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 12:08 pm Post subject: |
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Thaks  |
_________________
Boredom is a death sentence.
That is why I try to be crazy.
Crazy people aren't bored.
I wish I were more crazy. |
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Reuben A
Senior Writer
Gender:
Age: 13
Joined: 24 Aug 2008
Posts: 194
Reviews: 32
Country: South Africa
123 Points
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| This thread was created on September 13, 2008 |
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