Teague
don't touch me, i'm nanoing
Master of the Forum
Gender: 
Age: 16
Joined: 16 Oct 2006
Posts: 2035
Reviews: 483
Country: A ship! With me crew!
392 Points
|
 Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 3:23 am Post subject: An Ant's Tale |
 |
|
Author's Note: Yeah, I had this random idea at the bus stop. I saw some ants crawling around and was amused by their patterns of walking. Then I found an ant on my arm while on the bus, panicked, and brushed it off. Somehow, that led to writing about that poor ant's perspective.
Yeah. I don't profess to be a poet, so the few poems I write are random, meaningless free verse. Feel free to tear it apart. I don't particularly care.
An Ant's Tale
The quest; it begins
and I scurry around,
my brethren with me,
all searching for
something to eat;
fast, fast, fast as can
be, hunting for
food.
Up, down, haven't I
been here before?
Search, my brethren, search!
Food, food, must find
food.
Quickly now, time
is short.
Something strange!
What is this?
It must have
food.
Up, down, haven't I
been here before?
This something strange,
it is huge! Bigger
than the colony.
My brethren surround it.
Something so big
has to have
food.
The something, it moves!
Brethren, help me!
I am nearly swept away.
It shakes and shakes
and rattles and rattles.
Then it stops.
Maybe it moved to get
food.
I must find it!
I scurry around,
fast as I can
hunting, hunting for
food.
Now I am on something
else, another part
of this something
strange, perhaps?
No time, no time,
I must find
food.
The something, it moves!
And suddenly I am
...flying?
Such a strange sensation!
Maybe I am flying toward
food.
I land; I bounce.
It hurts, but my
quest must continue.
There, I see it!
Food!
It is heavy; still,
I pick up my prize.
Huzzah!
Food!
But...
where have my brethren gone? |
_________________
"If you don't vote, you're a moron." - Craig Ferguson
"Thank you for choosing Saint Razorblade Stick Beatings, where we really stick it to you - with a stick!" -Mattster
"Begone, earth logic! You have no place here!" -Black Cat Sachiko |
|
Snoink
Snuggly
Writer of Legend
Gender:
Age: 20
Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 8729
Reviews: 2140
Country: USA
2148 Points
|
| Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 8:52 am Post subject: Re: An Ant's Tale |
|
|
This is a truly brilliant poem.
| Quote: |
The quest; it begins
and I scurry around,
my brethren with me,
all searching for
something to eat;
fast, fast, fast as can
be, hunting for
food. |
I love how this stanza introduces the conflict. Using the metaphor of an ant looking for food with his brethren quickly transforms into a man trying to find his purpose in life. Initially, he believes that he is in search of food and that, in order to complete his "quest" he must search "fast, fast, fast" and only then will he find something to eat. The repetition of "fast" seems to give the impression of running around in circles. It is not necessary to write "fast" only once, as is conventional, but many times, almost as if the narrator is afraid of getting lost. In this way, the ant is lost. This seems to compare the ant's quest of food with man's quest of material goods and his rush to complete his different quests that he has. He has no qualms with this, of course, because his brethren are with them. Everybody is caught in his own quest to search for material goods "fast, fast, fast as can be." The rat (or, in this case, ant) race of humanity, lost and running around in circles, unaware of what his true purpose is.
| Quote: |
Up, down, haven't I
been here before?
Search, my brethren, search!
Food, food, must find
food.
Quickly now, time
is short. |
As the ant, symbolizing the man, searches his existence, he realizes that he is trapped in his desires. Although he is searching for material desires, he realizes that he cannot find these desires, not within his lifespan, and he quickly tells his brethren to search more, hoping to fulfill his material desires.
| Quote: |
Something strange!
What is this?
It must have
food.
Up, down, haven't I
been here before?
This something strange,
it is huge! Bigger
than the colony.
My brethren surround it.
Something so big
has to have
food. |
This is where he finds something more than himself. He believes it to be food, to be the material desires that he's been longing for, and yet he's confused because he's been over there before. If he was here and before and there was no food, then why should there be food now? For the first time, it occurs to him that there is something greater than himself, than his community, than his little world, and it astounds him. However, he can make nothing of it. Trapped within his thinking of his material desires, he classifies the object that is greater than him (perhaps a symbol for God?) as a "food. ("Something so big / has to have /food.") He does not realize that this thing that his colony surrounds has other motives, other purposes to live. Instead, he is trapped in his own world.
| Quote: |
The something, it moves!
Brethren, help me!
I am nearly swept away.
It shakes and shakes
and rattles and rattles.
Then it stops. |
In the last stanza (I split them up for you, lol,) the ant saw that his brethren surrounded this "something" and so that gave him the feeling of safety. With his colony surrounding this "something" he could not be touched. But with this movement, suddenly he is swept away from his community. Although he cries out, "Help me!" this cry apparently goes unanswered. Instead, all he can hear is the sound of movement. In this case, man has been thrown into a conflict with the divine and is swept away from all of society. Alone and disoriented, he clings on and hopes for the best, living through the struggles until finally it stops.
| Quote: |
Maybe it moved to get
food.
I must find it!
I scurry around,
fast as I can
hunting, hunting for
food. |
This "divine" moment has been brushed aside. The "ant," in order to better understand the situation better in his own terms, personifies this "something" as someone with his own desires. So, though he doesn't explicitly label this "something" as an actual person, he refers to this "something" as having desires similar to his own. This ant believes that the movement is only to get "food" and he immediately goes in a frenzy and scurries around, "hunting, hunting for / food." The way this poem is laid out makes the "hunting, hunting" seem quicker and give it a special frenzy. Remember that the only other repeated word is "fast." By having this repeated such, it makes the ant seem like he is running around in circles. By assuming that this "something" moved in order to get food, he has missed out the point that this "something" has other goals, different and alien to his own.
| Quote: |
Now I am on something
else, another part
of this something
strange, perhaps?
No time, no time,
I must find
food. |
Suddenly, the ant finds himself on another part. He pauses, momentarily. "Now I am on something / else, another part / of this something strange..." He realizes that something is bizarre about this experience. He is touching something larger and more complicated than his comprehension, he is touching something divine, and yet he still can't admit that to himself. When the thought comes up, he quickly brushes the thought aside with "No time, no time, / I must find / food." In this way, he is rejecting the divine and trying to hold on to the earthly desires he has always known. He does not want to know more about the divine. If he stopped and thought about it, really thought about it, he would not be able to find "food." He would not be able to fulfill his material desires. So he continues on, deliberately unaware of the divine.
It should be noted that it's strange that he is desperately looking for food. This brings in mind the three temptations of Christ where Christ is tempted, first with bread, then with grace, and finally with power. Christ refuses the bread. It is interesting to note that it is bread... bread seems to be synonymous with health, so why wouldn't you want to have health? However, scholars have said that Christ denied bread because it was a link to what is Earthly and it would simply enslave him to Earthly material wealth. He would become omnipotent, and he denied this to set an example that true freedom means a total and complete separation of material goods.
This ant, of course, follows the opposite course.
| Quote: |
The something, it moves!
And suddenly I am
...flying?
Such a strange sensation!
Maybe I am flying toward
food. |
The ant, for a brief moment, has transformed into something like an angel. "The something, it moves!" and suddenly the ant flies. It's a magical transformation, really, and the ant describes it as "strange," which happens to be the same adjective he uses to describe "the something." He realizes that the divine has tough him, though he really can't comprehend it. But perhaps he doesn't want to comprehend it. After all, the next moment, he sees his divine experience as a way to get closer to "food" and to other material possessions. He doesn't mind flying, he doesn't mind the experience, as long as it gets him closer to his own desires. And this is his undoing.
| Quote: |
I land; I bounce.
It hurts, but my
quest must continue.
There, I see it!
Food!
It is heavy; still,
I pick up my prize.
Huzzah!
Food!
But...
where have my brethren gone? |
It is interesting to note that as soon as he focuses on his Earthly desires, he falls back again. It is almost as he is rejecting the divine in order to get closer to his material possessions. He lands, he bounces and it hurts but his "quest must continue." He has rejected the divine, this time finally, and hurts as a result. But he doesn't mind, as long as he can pursue his Earthly desires. And finally he does succeed. He finds so much "food" that there will be no more hunger in his world for a very long time. He cheers for this, but then quickly stops.
The last line is brilliant and really makes this poem. For the first time, he doesn't have to think of food anymore. His Earthly desire is fulfilled and he no longer has to worry. He has achieved everything that he has set out to do. But he can no longer go back to his brethren. He doesn't know where they are. To him, they are lost. In his pursuit of material goods, he had forsaken both his people and the divine and now he is gone and lost forever from both worlds.
Rather depressing, actually.
Oh well. 
Nice poem, really.
*stars* |
_________________
"So, Obama calls McCain erratic. Well, I call Obama a squirrel." -- Rush Limbaugh
Video Critiques by Yours Truly.  |
|
. I love how all the concepts in this poem just fit together. And how many times does the word "Food" appear in that poem? LOL!
