~Volant~
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Novelist
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 Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 2:43 am Post subject: Gray (VI) |
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Scene VI
(It’s evening. Blaine has been sleeping; Mute has just fallen asleep. Sage is pacing, obviously very troubled. Prate, of course, is making twine. Blaine wakes up and stretches leisurely.)
BLAINE: You should sleep. You’ve been staying up lately.
SAGE: (turns on him angrily) Mute told me about this morning.
BLAINE: Oh.
SAGE: Is that all you can say? That is the most ignominious, filthy trick I’ve ever heard of anyone playing, and you can only say “oh”!
BLAINE: You haven’t been out on the streets much, have you, “my lord?”
SAGE: You have no honor!
BLAINE: Honor? (stands up) Well, sorry if I wasn’t raised in a mini-palace with the idea of honor. I was taught to survive. I’m sad that habits are hard to outrun. I’m also sad that I was the first person to tell you about what the world’s like past mahogany doors and marble steps. But I don’t regret it.
(Sage goes to the bars between their cells and shakes them to emphasis his words, making a loud clanging sound. Blaine backs up a step.)
SAGE: You think I haven’t seen past mahogany doors and marble steps? Just because I’ve seen it doesn’t mean that I add to it!
(Mute stirs at the loud noise, but doesn’t wake up. Both men freeze, watching to make sure he keeps sleeping.)
BLAINE: (strained whisper) You never worked for a scrap of bread for your life! You had three meals a day on silver plates and crystal goblets! Just because you saw what was going on, doesn’t mean that you understood it!
SAGE: You despicable creature!
BLAINE: “Despicable.” Honestly!
SAGE: You disgust me!
MUTE: Sage?
(Long pause while Sage tries to calm himself down.)
MUTE: Sage? I know you’re up. You were talkin’.
SAGE: (calmer) I’m up, Mute. I’m sorry.
MUTE: What’s goin’ on?
(Sage hesitates, then walks back over towards Mute. He puts his hand through the bars to touch his shoulder.)
SAGE: Nothing. Go…go back to sleep.
MUTE: You okay? You sound worried…
SAGE: I’m fine. Just a little fatigue, that’s all. Go back to sleep.
MUTE: ‘Kay. (beat) Sage?
SAGE: Yes?
MUTE: S’there light?
SAGE: (He pauses, suddenly looking very sad) Yes. There’s light.
MUTE: What’s it look like?
SAGE: It’s yellow gold today, with veins of copper. It shifts and shimmers like water.
MUTE: Mmmm…sounds pretty.
SAGE: It is. Go back to sleep.
MUTE: ‘Kay.
(Mute turns over and curls up, going back to sleep. Sage hesitates, then pulls his hand back into his cell, watching him.)
BLAINE: Tomorrow then?
SAGE: Morning.
BLAINE: Why do you want him to sleep?
SAGE: I want him to be asleep when…they come.
BLAINE: He’ll wake up. You know he will.
SAGE: Hopefully not.
BLAINE: (beat) Whatever it means to you, I’m sorry for what I did to him this morning.
SAGE: No, it’s fine. Mute recovers fast, as long as he has the colors. I’m sorry for snapping. That wasn’t me.
BLAINE: I deserved it.
(Long pause. Sage goes over to the corner closest to Mute’s and sits down, looking at nothing. Blaine leans against the bars. The light gradually changes into moonlight during the next several lines.)
BLAINE: You’re not going to sleep?
SAGE: Why would I? I only have hours to live. I’m going to spend them awake.
BLAINE: Then you should wake up Mute. He’ll want to spend your last hours awake, too.
SAGE: I don’t want him to be awake when—
BLAINE: There’s still plenty of time for him to fall back asleep. And if he wakes up to find that you’re gone, he’s going to regret sleeping through without a chance to say goodbye.
(Mute shudders in his sleep. Sage sighs and puts his hand through the bars to comfort him.)
BLAINE: His only eye now is his mind.
SAGE: And?
BLAINE: You do know that he’s seen a man hang?
SAGE: (beat) I know that.
BLAINE: When he finds out what happened to you, he’ll be imagining you instead. And, since he can’t see anymore, there won’t be any way to get rid of that image. Wake him up, so he has more memories. He’ll want them later.
SAGE: (beat) Very well. I’ll wake him up.
(Mute shudders in his sleep again. Sage gently shakes his shoulder)
SAGE: Mute? Are you awake?
MUTE: I am now. Why?
SAGE: …the light. It’s very pretty.
MUTE: Really? What’s it look like?
SAGE: It looks like fog or mist, swirling around the bars. It’s a royal blue
color with silver braided into it.
MUTE: (quietly) That does sound real pretty.
SAGE I…I wish you could see it.
MUTE: Me too. (beat) You sure you’re okay? You really sound worried…
SAGE: You know me too well.
MUTE: What’s wrong?
(Sage hesitates, thinking. Blaine leans forward with anticipation, but Sage sighs and shakes his head.)
SAGE: Everything is fine, Mute. Nothing’s wrong. Go back to sleep.
(Mute pauses, suspicious, but lies back down.)
MUTE: Alright. G’night, Sage.
SAGE: (quietly) Good night. |
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Dear Lord, I have been asked, nay, forced to ask a blessing on this turkey. A turkey that was very much alive with real emotions, that nuzzled it's young with almost human like compassion...anyway, it's dead now, and we're about to eat it. Amen. |
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KookieKatie
Writer
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| Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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I really like this poem. Without further explanation, I will have to assume that Mute is a child who has recently been blinded. I can also assume that they are in prison and Sage is to be executed. What I don't know, however, is what Blaine did that made Sage so angry. This is an interesting piece - I would love to read the rest.
Good writing! Keep up the good work!!
-KK |
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Peepsls on this website ought not to be so hatin against other writers!
It's hella hard just to post your stuff to this place, yo! |
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The Cheshire Cat
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297 Points
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| Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:46 pm Post subject: |
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Nooooo!! Sage! DX You're doing a good job of making this play really good, yet really sad. I bet you're going to get some tears out of your audience if you ever put this on. For a first play, this is ridiculously good. Insanely good. I'd like to start a play as well, so any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.
I'm probably going to cry now. I'm actually afraid for the next chapter. XD I'll be keeping my eye out! Good luck! |
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James Bond: Do you expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: No Mister Bond, I expect you to die! |
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Jiggity
The Sinister Jigster
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| Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 9:15 am Post subject: |
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Ah, and we reach the first scene that has true feeling! Yay! This was a good one and I haven't many complaints, beyond what I've been saying all this time. I said something in the last post, about the outside world influencing the inside, and you showed it here! The very first and most obvious difference - class - but its getting played out here, so very much later and while good, it should be a long running thing that would more then likely begin immediately.
I'm responding to these in bulk, so I'm not sure you're going to get any of the messages before you finish but I'm not sure you've address the whole nobility-political ramification thing.
There is huge potential for this piece to be much more involving, engaging and dynamic. I hope you keep working on, going back from the beginning and refining the characters. Its obvious to me that you're getting to know them as much as we are as we go, but that's obviously not good enough. Has to be right from the get go, so you should tune 'em all up.
Nice. |
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Initiate II |
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