Chapter 1
Normal Day
A teenage girl sat alone in a booth located in the empty part of the café. She was taking quick, small sips of her coffee, in the early morning. Her mind was empty, all she thought of was the taste of the warm coffee that went down her throat with each drink. The lone brunet would have stayed silent like that all morning or even all day, till an elderly waitress stood before her.
“ Kizame would you like anything else?” The waitress asked.
The girl looked up. “No.”
Kizame had been to that café many times before, so it was to be expected that the people who worked there to know her name. Kizame pulled out a ten-dollar bill and placed it on the table, quickly leaving both the waitress, and a half full cup of coffee.
She was walking outside on a busy street of San Guan Bay, a city located on the beaches of the Pacific Ocean. It hardly seemed possible to hear anything with all of the poeple taling, but Kizame heard her cell phone ring. It vibrated in her jacket pocket, but she still ignored it. After a while who ever was trying to reach her gave up, and only after the phone lied lifeless in her pocket did Kizame pull it out.
“Kizame where are you? Did you go to the café, again? If you did stay there I’ll come by and pick you up, so call me back. You should answer the phone once and a while. See ya later… oh and by the way it's your Uncle Tom.”
The message ended. Kizame sighed, and thought. “Of course its Uncle Tom, no one else calls me anymore.”
The idea of Uncle Tom coming to the care made Kizame walk faster away from it.
Kizame was now standing in an old antique shop on the eastern edge of San Guan Bay. It was now around mid afternoon, and the sun was in the center of the clear blue sky. She had grown used to coming to the antique shop everyday. What she really liked about it was that hardly anyone came in, and that the owner never bothered with Kizame since she never bought anything; today was no different.
Kizame slowly walked through the shop, Looking at the many old objects lying on the neatly rowed shelves. She placed her pointer finger on an empty spot, and dragged it across the bare place. She examined her finger, it was very dusty. Kizame wiped the dust off her finger using her dark blue jeans. Kizame exited the aisle, and saw it- a gorgeous, huge ancient mirror. It had a red painted wooden frame that was designed to loop around a metal cord around the glass. Kizame stared at her reflection, and was ashamed. She was now a former shadow of herself. All of her energy was gone from her face, and only wrinkles under her eyes remained. Her once long silk smooth golden brown hair was now just a disgusting fading light brown. If that wasn’t bad enough her face had become so pale. Even though she lived in a beach city, where everyone was tan. She became an unnatural white color. Lastly her eyes that were once an intense hazel, filled with blue, green and even bits of red was now just a lifeless grayish brown.
She sighed, looking how thin she became from eating so little. Her favorite black and white stripped jacket that had once been tight on her, was now an annoying over-sized thing that made her feel an unbearable heat under the warm spring sun.
Kizame looked away from the pathetic creature she saw in the mirror. Immediately she walked out of the store, hearing a “Have a nice day,” behind her.
The wind blew hard against the cherry trees, making it rain a pink snow. It was now around evening, and the sun began to fall towards the horizon, and into the sea. Kizame stood over short grass, staring upon three headstones. Her eyes were filled with emptiness, as she held three violet tulips. Then she carefully walked to the empty spaces between each grave. Removing an old flower from a small thin pot halfway in the ground, and placing a new flower in them.
Once this was finished, Kizame laid herself under a cherry tree behind the three graves. It was so peaceful; no one else was in the cemetery beside herself. It was no surprise that the young girl couldn’t help but close her eyes, and just lay there resting. She had nothing better to do, so Kizame lied there allowing herself to become covered in pink flower petals.
Then she heard it the ring tone of her cell-phone, annoying her once again. Kizame sighed, and allowed to ring a few times before she pulled it from her white and black striped jacket’s pocket. She read the number.
“ Uncle Tom.”
Kizame didn’t answer it. Instead the call stopped and the phone began to vibrate. Uncle Tom had instead left a text message.
“ Kizame, dinner is almost ready so hurry up home. Ok? Today is spaghetti night, your favorite. See ya later kiddo ☺” Kizame reread the text.
Her Uncle Tom had always been a nice guy, but ever since Kizame moved in with him he became like a person who acted like he could never be angry.
“He probably just feels bad for me…” She stopped and thought for a moment. “No, it’s not true. He misses my mom, his sister just as bad as I do.”
Kizame had always been an understanding person. It was from the fact that her father always said to her. “ You should never get mad at another person. Its better to walk in their shoes for a while and see things from their point of view.”
Kizame smiled, that phrase; her father had taken it from a favorite book of his, but as he told Kizame he was only merely ‘borrowed’ it.
A moment passed and Kizame realized where she was. She was lying under a tree, in a cemetery, right next to the graves of her Father, Mother and younger brother. That was when her smile faded away, leaving an empty look on her face once again.
Kizame quickly stood back up and walked out of the cemetery; trying to get back to her Uncle’s house before it was nighttime.
“So how was your day?” A gentle male voice asked.
Kizame looked up towards it. It was her Uncle Tom. He was standing besides her, a large smile on his face. Uncle Tom was much taller compared to Kizame, who was just a simple 5’ 6”. He had the same golden brown hair that Kizame once had. His was cut into a short shag, and his bangs just barely hung down from his forehead.
Uncle Tom placed Kizame’s plate in front of her. “It has my special spaghetti sauce, an old family secret.” He told her.
She looked at him, seeing his huge smile. His teeth were pure white, and it almost blinded Kizame. She didn’t want to make her uncle sad, so she gave him a false smile back, and answered. “Cool.”
With that, Uncle Tom walked back to his chair, sat down and began to eat his spaghetti; while Kizame just looked back down at her plate, and slowly began to nibble at her food.
But as she took a bite, she dropped her fork. Uncle Tom looked at her is shock.
“Kizame are you ok?” He asked.
She just looked down and wrapped an arm around her stomach.” Yeah, my stomach just hurts a little.”
Kizame wanted that to be the end of their discussion, but her Uncle had other plans. “Kizame, your stomach has been hurting for some time. I am a little bit concerned. Do you think you have the stomach flu?”
She shook her head. “I just think I need to eat more fiber.”
“No, I think I’ll take you to the doctor tomorrow.” Uncle Tom decided.
Kizame head jolted up. “What?! I don’t want to go to the stupid doctor!”
Her Uncle sighed. “I don’t care. I might be pretty laid back on most things, but if it’s your health then what I say goes.”
Kizame stood out of her chair, staring at the ground. “I’m going to bed.”
Her Uncle didn’t argue with her, but just before she left the dining room. He told her. “You know that school is going to start in less than a week.”
Kizame stopped and gasped. She had heard him loud and clear. Now she had something horrible to look forward to, again in her awful stinking life.
She stood there for only a few seconds and then began to walk to her room again.
It was late, and the moon just barely showed in Kizame’s bedroom window through the endless batches of clouds. She was tossing and turning in her bed, a nightmare plaguing her dreams. Suddenly she sat up from her covers; while tears flooding from her fading grayish brown eyes. Kizame quickly wiped them away. Her heavy panting cut through the silence of the room. Slowly Kizame steadied her breathing, and finally relaxed- the traces of the memory of her dream fading away along with her tears.
Kizame crawled to the edge of her bed, facing towards the window. Then she sat with her legs dangling off the bed, and began to pray.
“ Dear God, its me Kizame. I have been praying to you every night since my family died in that car accident. I just hope that you can grant my prayers. Please save me. Anything I will take any miracle. I just don’t want to remain alone anymore.” Kizame stopped.
“Wow, I sound really pathetic.” She realized.
Kizame’s face flinched, from pain. Her stomach began to act up again. She had somehow become used to it, and in fact welcomed it. The pain brought something else to her life besides sadness and false hope. She sighed. “I...”
Kizame stopped, forgetting what she was going to say. After that she dug herself back into the covers on her bed and tried to sleep.
how did I do? I did my best ^_^
))
))
So there’s just the grammatical, etc., things I pointed out in the attachment.
Gender:
Points: 1650
Reviews: 287