The calmness of the plains really brings out one's “evil” side- the murderous rage of a single, solid, coherent whisper, that sings for only one person to hear. The never ending valleys, with their striking green visage, gives one the impression of a higher entity passing through- calmly, and steadily. The sky has few clouds this time of the month, and rain seems a distant possibility. With only an apple tree serving for shade, the rest of the valley is under the sun's protection; it watches the valley feverishly. But the sun can't see everything; it is blind to certain details that only nature can answer. My nature however... is unnatural. But it exists. This place is it's own playground; a place that only exists for its personal amusement. My personal amusement. No soul has passed here for ages; not even a fly has buzzed its way unto the apple tree. Only...her. It seems as if what happened the last decade or so happened only yesterday. And tomorrow, holds no promises. But there are no promises for a beast...
----
One can't change a beast, one can't change nature.
----
The strong winds caresses her beautiful black hair, pulling it back just a little bit for one to see it's face. She was under the tree, helping herself to some delicious apples. She had a long, white dress on- it covered her lovely physical attributes. The wind pulled her hair back a bit, and I finally saw the females face. It was... beautiful. Her eyes were of dark brown; her lips were slightly long and delicate, going up and down to the rhythm of the now-eaten apple. Her nose and ears were delicately fabricated. She was precious. I tried my best to not let her know of my presence, but-
"Who's there!?"
She gets up, and goes rapidly outside the shade. The wind isn't helping her see by covering her eyes with her own hair. She struggles with it, trying to find the source of anything. But alas, she finds nothing.
"I truly am going crazy. It... it sounded like a whisper..."
She picked up a few apples, and went walking away from the tree. I followed her wherever she went in the valley, but I limited myself. Beyond the valley, beyond the other side, lies answers to questions I didn't want to answer. Who am I? That was my first question. The answer laid in the eyes of the creatures I went through. Humans. Few remember me, few try to forget me.
It would be wise if I forgot myself as well. Beyond the valley... I was God. And not even He could stop me.
----
Romeo And Juliet together in eternity. Romeo and...
----
Juliet... She wasn't here yet. I waited, and waited. The sun was still in its glory, above the sky and clouds, illuminating everything for one to see. The bright greens were everywhere, the leaves on the tree were moving serenely, and the apples were in their place. For some reason, at that time, I remembered Matilda. Yes... Matilda. There was a time were I did care for humans. A time where I had another name.
John, was it? John Laterdy. I hated my name, and my parents.
That's why I killed them when I was 15. I beheaded my father near the village's lake with my machete; it was hard at first, but by the third thrust to the neck, his head was halfway in the air. After I took care of my father, I went to my mother. I choked her with my bare hands, and then proceeded to stab her on her eyes. Ironically, they both died blind.
There isn't a minute in my life I regretted doing this. He raped me many times, while my mother watched and pleasured herself. They were uncivilized animals, instead of civilized ones. The tricky thing about Humans, is that they are the ones who belong in a zoo. The wildlife should watch them. Curious...
I hated this place. I hated each and everyone of the animals that existed in it. When they placed the noose around my neck, they didn't hesitate to find a priest or anything, they just pushed the switch, and down I went. Bones cracking, neck turning, eyes spinning, tongue out, stiff as a plank, and dead as a cadaver. I saw my murder, but I didn't see the most important thing – Matilda. She was in the crowd, crying. Ah, but how I loved you, Matilda. I loved you endlessly.
They took my corpse, and threw it on the lake; It didn't deserve a burial, they said. As my corpse was plunging down the depths of the lake, my mind was elsewhere. I didn't remember, and I couldn't see where I was. I just waited till time passed. Waited... and waited....
I awakened outside the water. The Sun was in the air already. Next to me were the Albrety boys, but they didn't say anything. I approached them with haste and asked - “Where is Matilda?!”
“Jesus, Dwayne, did you see Melany today? Fine tits she has on 'er.”
What was this sick game? They ignored me, completely. Then, I noticed something even worse-Nothing. I saw nothing around my body - no flesh, no dried up blood, nothing. Then -
A scream ensued.
It turned out Matilda killed herself; she opened her wrists while taking a bath in the bathtub. I... I was devastated. The pain resonates even today. Even right now. By the following day, the village was empty. People started to have accidents, suicides, etcetera. People drowned their children, or mutilated themselves, or worse. It was a massacre.
I didn't know the power I had over these animals, until I finished doing what I did.
After I finished, I fled away from the village. I fled as far away as I could. I ran until I found the place where I as a child escaped numerous times. I fled into the peaceful greenish pastures of Naomi's Plains. You could say that Naomi helped me. She helped me with my music, back when I was 12. Back when my grandfather started to teach me Latin. I couldn't finish everything, due to his illness, but I practiced enough. After my grandfather's death, I had decided to grow a tree; an apple tree. And so I did. He was my brother. I watched him grow, day and day out.
There are many memories here... many memories indeed.
----
History has a funny way of repeating itself; it will always follow you, wherever...
----
My second Juliet, she was the one who made me start music again. Not with instruments mind you, but with my voice. Not since Matilda have I whistled the tunes of joy, and of sorrow. For some reason, I started working on a requiem; it seemed right at the time. Thus far, I knew the apple tree and Naomi liked it. The do, re, mi fa, sols flied across the plains, across the endless pastures, dancing with the breeze and with the rays of the sun, bringing happiness to Naomi. Under the shade, I created my music. It was ambitious what I was preparing- a full Requiem. Night and Day, as I waited for my Juliet, I sang. I poured everything into my pieces.
I decided it was going to consist of three parts – Requiem Inritus Of Gaudium (the void of happiness), Requiem Siege Engine Of To Mock (ballad of illusion) and the Requiem Conundrum Of Gaudim (the conundrum of happiness). I was having a hard time with the final piece. The various chants and passages required many acts of refinement. For better or worse, I was lacking the main inspiration for this piece. My Juliet.
Days passed, and still no sign of her. I waited endlessly.
At nightfall, I heard a distant laugh coming from outside the plains. Whilst I was preparing and perfecting my final piece, I wasn't prepared for what was to come...
----
Dies Irae
----
“Jonathan, quit being such a baby! Hurry up silly!”
“Not only do I don't want to be here, you know damn well the stori-”
“Shh! Do you hear that? It sounded like a whisper; a melodious whisper...”
“Quit scaring me. Its bad enough that we are here, and its bad enough that you resort to your cheap scares.”
“You are quite possibly the biggest baby there is. I provide you with the resolution to your nightmares, and you're still complaining. ”
“Hey! You know damn well the stories about this place. The constant wails and whispers that partake in these plains. Even though I am scared shitless, you have to give me credit for trying.”
“Ha! You know, I didn't notice until know that cute frown you make while you're scared 'shitless'. Your mother didn't mention that.”
“Oh, leave mother alone. But you know, now that I think about it, I want to bite that temptation apple anytime soon...”
“Haha. Wait! Easy... We are getting close.”
“This is the spot! Isn't it wonderful?”
I screamed.
“A tree? What's so marve-”
“Shhh! Listen. It sounds like... it sounds like someone's crying.”
The pain that Matilda brought to me was resurfaced again. Only this time, I was staring at it. My Juliet was gone... again.
“Nice try sweetheart; you're a real comedian.”
While she and her lover started undressing for the night sky to see, I watched. The pain... was staggering. Between the tears that weren't there, and the heartache that I could not express, laid uncontrollable rage and anger. For you see, one can't change the essence of anything. The therapy that Naomi and the tree brought to me, only existed for my own personal comfort. After all those years, I pretended to feel pity for the animals that I slayed in my village.
It turns out, I never did feel anything for them.
Amidst the pain, frustration and heartache, I could finally start on my Conundrum. For she inspired me, you see...
Meus conundrum of gaudium Qua professio sententia piece illius gaudium Vobis , quod vos unus would change mihi valde substantia mei , plene Insquequo , EGO eram haud diutius chained quod spit super Per perplexing equation of meus existence Meus conundrum mos nunquam exsisto certus Pro EGO mos nunquam utriusque per is.
“Jo...Oh! Jonathan!”
“Wa...wait, hold on babe. Just one more stro-”
“Wait...N- No! Do you hear that?!”
“Wha-”
It seems my melodious nature was finally heard.
“Shit! I told you this was a bad, fucking idea! Go, run to the car!”
“Wait, Jonathan! Jonathan!”
Fleeing animals...
It seems that after tonight, the plains weren't going to keep me from being calmly insane. The moon is high, the wind is still, and sounds were absent. The animal in me woke up once again, and he was hungry.
----
It seemed so long ago when I ventured outside these hills. Now, everything was concrete. Long blocks of rock with little colored white stains following them. She and her lover entered a contraption of some kind; a monster made out of metal. It was difficult to be side by side with them, but I could follow them at least. The roads ended, and sudden lights began to blind me. A whole row filled with these exact pieces of metal. Not only did smoke emit from them, but various sounds as well. Most curious.
After a small period of time, they arrived in what I believed was their home. They lived in the mountains, not that far from Naomi or the apple tree. I could see the fear they had on their faces. It felt good.
“Jonathan. Wait.”
“What!?”
“I'm... I'm sorry. I kno-”
“You don't know shit! My mother... my mother always told me not to go near those plains. She used to tell me her grandmother's experience in there. The whole massacre... unexplained! Everybody... dead! She didn't know that she cursed my childhood with those stories; she was as crazy as I am know. I still can't believe she survived...”
“I'm here. Baby, don't cry, I love you.”
“You heard that ominous melody back there? Did you hear it clearly?! What did it say?!”
“Nothing. Nothing Jonathan. It didn't say anything.”
“Yeah... that's what I thought. It could've been the wind, right?”
“Right.”
But there was no wind Jonathan.
----
One shouldn't act sane if one is insane; one must embrace its own nature.
----
As they kissed and hugged, they finally decided to recuperate themselves in their beds. Jonathan however, decided to stay outside. He inspired me with the second paragraph of my Conundrum-
Is tickles unus scio vis of vengeance suus in nostrum nose , suus in nostrum feet is est near nostrum animus ut servo quod utor conundrum of gaudium est non quare is est ut quod ut I'm perfectus fabula mos prodigo ceterus of suum dies praedicatio carmen pro silenti etc
John gasped. He knew all to well who was near him. He knew all to well who was looking at him breath; Who was looking at him sweat. I knew him, in an instant. And he knew who I was too. Now...now, he was going to meet me personally.
----
Why should an animal hide under the facade of intellectuality, when they can't even recognize the minimal change that it truly brings?
----
During his screams of agony, of pain, and of fear, I took Jonathan, and I bended him to my will. Now, he was my eyes, my ears, and I, was his eyes, and his ears. To a certain extent, I was Jonathan. But Jonathan, poor Jonathan, he couldn't control me. He couldn't control the pain that was to come.
I went inside the house. The way the interior was designed was not of my knowing. A crystal shaped box played moving pictures the likes I have never seen. Carpets oddly shaped with various color pallets. Various reflective surfaces that made me see Jonathan even more clearly. I leaned closely to one of the surfaces. He was a rather tall fellow; light skinned. With short black hair, and with a short stubby nose. His lips weren't as impressive as his athletic body, in which I gladly accepted. I had an advantage through him, to carry out my mission. My mission for Happiness.
“John! Oh, Joohn!”
Her voice was heard from above, past the hallway. I took a small knife from the knife rack (which was in the kitchen, or so I figured), and hid it in my back pocket. The hallway was dark, with light coming from one of the rooms. The door wasn't completely shut, and I could hear a dialog.
“Johnathan, Mary and Joseph! What have you been up to!”
“Well gee mah, I was just setting up my computah games.”
“Computah... Games? Mom, I want a new brother!”
“You shut your mouth!”
I could see some form of exchange between animals in the illuminating box. Moving pictures... with real animals on them. Marvelous. One can't limit oneself to visiting animals on the zoo, because one can also see them in the comfort of one's home, on a box mind you.
I smirked.
The room was somewhat big. I started circling around it, and around the bed, admiring the various paintings and relics that laid on the tables and walls. There were pictures of her, and her family I supposed. The room was cold for some reason; an air could be felt from the ceiling. It originated from another box, albeit a long one. What is it with these boxes? If they're not long, they're squared. If they're not squared, they're rectangled. These animals...
I turned from viewing the ceiling, and I concentrated on admiring the creature that laid on the bed. She was under the sheets, asleep; her hair was finely placed on the pillow. Her body was sleeping from one side; her little feet were in the exact same position from one another. I approached her quietly, until my hand finally reached her soft appearance. It was... it was beautiful. I proceeded to touch her arms, and I slided down to where her thighs were. I couldn't help myself. I started kissing her body, and then I started feeling her chests.
She woke up.
“Jo-”
“You have no idea how much I love you.”
“It's late bab-”
“I want you...”
What followed, would never be repeated ever again.
----
Love is a beautiful thing; a privilege that only animals can have.
----
I had lost my virginity once again. Our naked, sweaty bodies couldn't hide the fact that we loved each other. Even if she knew who I wasn't at the moment.
“I- I can't get up. You... you really pummeled me there...”
I smiled.
She threw herself next to me, she started kissing my neck.
“You're awfully quiet. Don't tell me your sleepy, because this ain't over yeeet...”
She continued touching my body and genitals, kissing me on the mouth at the same time. I did the same.
It was at this time, that I underwent a vision. A vision of me, and my Juliet – Together in Eternity. It was me, her, and our children, playing in the back yard. Everybody was laughing, everybody was Happy. I had the opportunity to finish my Conundrum of Happiness. But... I didn't take it.
Romeo and Juliet are together in eternity.
----
Romeo and Juliet aren't together in eternity.
----
Blood was dripping from the bed sheets, and the countless droplets of red rubies were already painting the rug on the floor. The reflective surface illustrated my weakness – the lack of emotion. Not even a single tear came from my eyes.
It came from his.
Even though I was in his body, It wasn't mine; even if I wanted it to be. All these emotions weren't mine, but his. The reflective device could let me see the stabbed naked body behind me; it laid lifeless on the bloodied bed. The constant streams of tears were making my vision murky; I couldn't see clearly. I wiped them off. The pain was great, yes, but it wasn't my pain I was feeling. It was his. It reminded me of Matilda. A love that was taken from us. The instinct of knowing that your life will change for the rest of your days.
I couldn't go on with this. And I knew that neither could he...
Eternity? Nobody knows the meaning. Romeo and Juliet are not together in eternity; they're probably living other lives, in other places. They probably have different names – James, and Jennie. Starting a conversation on the other side of the world with different people, of different genders and tastes. One must be careful when wishing for eternity, because it might betray you at the end.
I could've avoided this, I could've ignore my Juliet and Jonathan. But I didn't. I couldn't go on and live a life that wasn't meant for me. I couldn't ignore my pain. I just couldn't avoid my own nature, could I?!
My nature to induce pain, and suffering. Vengeance. Hatred.
Humans...
----
An example of un-change.
----
I needed to justify my beliefs. My beliefs of hatred, of anger, towards the 'superior' species, and themselves. I remember that people in the village use to talk about Peace, about a necessary change that needs to happen in Humankind. The problem lies in the question itself. Who are we? But not in who are we, more in who are we not? I have a clear definition for you – We are Humans. We will never change. And as I displayed through these killings, humans will always, always, make a choice. Its not about right or wrong, good and bad – its about a choice. Who judges us, when we are the only ones who can judge ourselves?
The ruins of my village were non-existent. All that laid was grass, dirt, and silence. The hollow trees were overlooking the lake; I remember when I integrated my name and Matilda's in one of them. Ah, yes, the lake; The great Dragonfly lake – my tomb. I will never forget this place...
Nor will they.
Various spirits inhabit these parts, howling and wailing amidst the sounds of utter silence. They didn't bother me that much, but then again, they didn't want to do anything with me. I standed in front of the lake, staring at the reflection of the sky. For some reason, I started hearing many whispers in the area. Whispers behind me, near me, above me – everywhere. I was waiting for the defining moment at midnight - The dance of the dragonflies. It must be ages since I last saw this most beautiful image. And I guess, they too waited...
----
Even though I knew I didn't have a reflection, that didn't stop me from looking for it.
----
In a few minutes time, all the spirits joined me. Call them ghosts or whatnot, they are just animals – a simple and empty portrayal of their past selves. They too gathered every night to see the dance of the dragonflies.
And then...it started.
The black sky made one see even more clearly the golden wings of these creatures. Insignificant, except for themselves, and for ourselves. The flying beauties soared high and low, almost skipping across the still waters of the lake. A spirit started singing in the back. She was probably Meldusia – the singer, or Jamine – the housewife. I couldn't remember. What I can remember, is the beauty of the dance, and how the music complemented it perfectly.
I could feel the spirits hollow eyes watching me from behind, and from the sides.
It was at this moment, that I realized the spirits were plotting against me. It is not the same with animals, as it is with spirits. I could interact with the spirits. I could touch them, or talk to them if I wished. I could do anything. But what I didn't do at that moment, was fight them. Because you see, I wanted to show myself just how human a human really is. Killing is in our nature; from the most docile of preachers, to the most violent of criminals, everybody can take a life. Be it the life of the most imbeciles of insects, to the most passionate being you may ever know, you can take their life. That is what's so beautiful about choice.
And my death, was a beautiful one.
----
The conundrum of Happiness
----
I remember this part in my life. I remember plunging into the depths of the lake, until I couldn't see any light source from the outside. Even the world is silent over here. Going deeper, and deeper, into pitch blackness isn't as bad as it sounds. Down here... down here is where the definition of peace is found.
Once I reached the floor of the lake, I saw my own cadaver. It was staring at me with eyes that weren't there, and it was smirking at me with a mouth that didn't exist. My own body, right in front of me. You see, every choice I made, every detail that went into every choice, led to the exact same place. You might feel that I regret everything that I did in my life. But guess what -
I didn't.
When I got out of the lake the next day, I returned to my home. The apple tree, Naomi and the Sun greeted me with their usual warmth and splendor. I was home once again, and it felt good. The breeze silently went through the green plains, and through my body. Even though I didn't solve my conundrum of happiness, I ignored that fact, and pretended that I did.
Under the shade of the Apple Tree, I did something that, not only was it useless, but it was necessary. I took an apple, and I started eating it. Even though I had no stomach, I at least could grab an organic object, and I at least could pretend that I was enjoying it. I had chosen this moment in my life, by inhabiting my unfinished one.
Because, even in death, one can pretend it didn't happen.
Ha! Humans...
