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This thread was created on September 1, 2008
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Baptizing
Topic ID: 35463
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ludovicowho
New Member
Gender: 
Age: 16
Joined: 02 Sep 2008
Posts: 3
Reviews: 0
Country: United States
300 Points
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 Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 1:34 am Post subject: Baptizing |
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On shame, for all
The words whispered to
The Forgotten Son.
Sinners do repent
To themselves, at least.
Who knows for sure
What is real?
What is coming?
Then return to norm,
Life is too persistent
In pursuit of
You – don’t resist.
How can you?
You are unaware,
Of shifting
From underneath.
Gradual steps
To nothing;
Decay has
Its ways.
Forgetfulness
Gets
You
Down.
He
Is
Forgotten
Again. |
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In_the_Moonlight
Writer
Gender: 
Age: 13
Joined: 09 Jul 2008
Posts: 87
Reviews: 54
Country: Nartimarick- yes it does exist.....
539 Points
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 4:49 pm Post subject: |
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I liked this poem a lot. The title somehow doesn't seem right, but it's your poem so....
On shame, for all
The words whispered to
The Forgotten Son.
Sinners do repent [quote]
This is my favorite paragraph. As the poem goes on it gets a bit wordy, but in this particular poem i guess it didn't make a big difference. So I guess it depends on which way you look at it.
Overall:
-creative
-nice word choice
-good detail
P.S. remember to get at least 2 reviews next time before you post. I can't wait for more! 
-Moonlight |
_________________
Some people say, Save yourself and you save your life.
I say, Be yourself and you save your soul.
-Estrella de Madrigal
http://4fantasyreadersonly.webs.com |
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| This thread was created on September 1, 2008 |
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