Emma’s heart pounded crazily in her chest as Peter leaned toward her. Her stomach fluttered like a swarm of butterflies.
This was it. He was going to kiss her. She closed her eyes as his face came within inches of her own.
Suddenly, a wave of panic nearly swept Emma off the couch. She had never kissed a boy before! What was she supposed to do? Which way was she supposed to tilt her head? What if she missed? What if he missed? How in the world did somebody miss? What was she supposed to do with her tongue? What if he wasn’t even leaning in to kiss her at all? What if Peter just wanted a hug?
All of these feelings were quickly extinguished when their lips touched. Passion overtook her. She followed his lead. This wasn’t so hard. After about fifteen seconds she broke it off.
“What?” Peter asked quickly, “Did I do something wrong?”
Emma was shocked, and more than a little dazed.
“Huh? No, Peter you know I like you. I just-ummm.” She couldn’t get it out. It was too awkward.
The truth was she hadn’t wanted that kiss to end anymore than Peter did. It was her conscience that made her stop. She knew what could happen if they weren’t able to control themselves, and her parents were just upstairs. Fear of punishment hadn’t caused Emma to stop though. It ran much more deeply than that. Emma was LDS or more commonly known as a Mormon, and practiced her religion faithfully. Long ago she had made a promise to herself that she would stay a virgin until she was married. At the time it had sounded easy, but when she had kissed Peter…but she couldn’t think that way. She was only sixteen and so was Peter. In a way they were already straying from the Prophet’s counsel. They had been dating exclusively for a month now. The youth of her church were urged to only date in groups at sixteen and only see one person when they were eighteen. Of course even then the relationship was not supposed to get too serious because the boy was expected to serve a mission at nineteen.
Peter’s voice brought Emma back to present.
“I totally understand. You were just being careful.” He brought his head down in shame.
“I’m sorry. Sometimes I get carried away.”
Emma grabbed his hand.
“Don’t be,” she responded soothingly, “I’m new to this relationship thing too, remember? We’ll get the hang of it, don’t worry.”
It was true. Peter was the first boy that had ever taken the slightest interest in Emma. No one else had even given her a second glance before that. At one point she had come to the conclusion that she repelled guys. It had nothing to do with looks either. She was of average height with straight and sleek dirty blonde hair down the middle of her back. Her eyes were of the darkest brown and were very easy to get lost in. Peter had often found himself suddenly forgetful and speechless staring into those eyes. She was of slender build and could outrun Peter, much to his embarrassment and admiration. With Peter things were much different. He had every girl hanging on his every word. Most of this had to do with his personality. He was soft-spoken and shy at times, but had the strongest morals. Foul language never came out of his mouth and he was already an Eagle Scout. When asked what his goals were after high school he would say without a second’s hesitation, “I plan to serve a mission for my church.” There was nothing Mormon girls loved better than a good Mormon boy. Peter and Emma lived in Logan, Utah and ninety eight percent of their school was Mormon. Peter’s looks only added on to girls’ infatuation with him. He was 6’1 and had a body of lean muscle. Hair the lightest of blonde went just above his shoulders. His eyes were a piercingly yet foggy, pale blue.
Emma decided it was an ideal time to change the subject. “You’re going to the Book of Mormon all-nighter tomorrow night, right?”
“Yeah.” Peter replied, suddenly his eyes brightened. “They had the best cake last time.”
Emma laughed cheerfully. Typical boy, she thought, always thinking about food. Though she had begged her parents not to make her go to the Book of Mormon all-nighter before, now that Peter was going, everything changed. Suddenly the thought of staying up through the whole night reading the Book of Mormon with youth of her ward sounded very appealing.
Smiling, she said, “Cool. Can’t wait.”
The next day Logan High School was all in a jitter. Peter the gorgeous mission-bound Mormon boy was dating Emma. Because there were only roughly four hundred kids at Emma’s high school, the new relationship made quite the impact. Even though they had been dating for a month, Peter and Emma had never showed any public affection during school hours. That all changed overnight. In between classes they walked down the halls together hand in hand. When parting, a quick kiss was never forgotten much to the jealousy of more than half the girls.
Emma was as thrilled as could be about the change. Not that she wanted to flaunt her new boyfriend. The relationship seemed more official to her. She finally had a boyfriend, and frankly Emma could hardly believe it. In middle school she had “gone out” with two boys but they were shallow and meaningless relationships that lasted a week at the most. With Peter, Emma knew it was real and deep. This was the first time she had ever felt this way about a guy. It was much more significant that a crush. She knew she could marry him someday.
While Emma was driving home, Peter filled her every thought. Every song on the radio seemed to have some sort of connection with him. At one point she was so distracted, she switched lanes without using her blinker or looking over her shoulder. An angry honk and a furious shout accompanied with a string of profanities told her she had cut someone off. She glanced at the rearview mirror and saw a man who appeared to be in his early twenties flipping her off. A smile crossed her face. That’s how much her mind was engrossed in Peter.
When she got home, she found her mother in the family room cutting coupons.
“Hey.” She greeted her happily.
“Hey honey, how was school?” Her mom inquired.
“It was great.” Emma replied as she practically floated past her mom to the kitchen. She grabbed a banana and joined her on the couch.
“Can’t wait for tonight.” she remarked.
Her mom looked at her skeptically. “Yesterday you were practically on your knees, begging me not to make you go. Why the change of feelings? Oh,” her eyebrows rose as realization hit her. “Peter’s going isn’t he?”
Blushing deeply, Emma said coolly, “That may have something to do with it.”
“So are you two an item now?” Her mother asked nonchalantly.
Emma rolled her eyes at her mom’s old-fashioned choice of words. An item. Who said that anymore?
When she didn’t respond her mom studied her steadily.
“Look Em, I know you are excited to have your first boyfriend and everything—"
“Mom, please!” Emma cut her off. It seemed so strange for her mom to be talking to her about this. When her mom had sat her down to give her the sex talk in the 3rd grade, Emma had almost bolted out of the room in embarrassment.
Her mom put up a hand.
“Let me finish.” She said evenly.
“Peter is a great boy and I realize I should be grateful you’re not dating someone much worse but maybe you should slow it down a bit. Kyle saw you two last night and even thought I’m angry he spied on you, I don’t like what he told me.”
It took almost all of Emma’s self-control to resist from going upstairs and screaming at Kyle that instant. Kyle was her ten-year-old brother and of course seemed to love seeing her reprimanded by their parents.
“It was just a little kiss, mom.” She said calmly.
“Yeah but a little kiss can go a long way. And if other people see you doing that, they may get the wrong idea about you and your morals.”
Emma stood up abruptly.
“Thanks for the advice mom but me and Peter don’t go around making out in front of people. I can’t believe you would take anything Kyle said seriously. It was a kiss and nothing more. I’m old enough to be in a relationship so before you start planning for my pregnancy, calm down.” With that, she turned and slowly made her way up the stairs, her mom staring at her, eyes full of worry.
“Wake up, Emma!” A loud voice brought Emma’s head up from the table. She looked around groggily. She stared at the only clock in the gymnasium. It was 2:32 AM. Thomas Hayes was reading from the book of Alma. Alma! She thought discouragedly. That left them with Helaman, 3 Nephi…she didn’t even want to think about it. The scriptures were a huge treasure in her life but it had been a long week. Every week seemed long, what with seminary and school, come Friday her energy was drained.
Peter pinched her playfully. “You gonna be able to make it?” he teased, peering at her. One look from his beautiful eyes and Emma was reenergized and alert.
Twenty minutes later, the Young Women’s president decided it was time for a five-minute break.
Woopdeedo. Emma thought bitterly.
A table was set up in the corner of the gym with treats and water bottles on it. Kids crowded around eagerly for Sister Brown’s award-winning cake.
Not caring about anything but sleep, Emma turned to Peter.
“Hey look, I’m ultra tired. I think I’m going to head home.” She explained sleepily, reaching for her purse. Peter touched her shoulder.
“Don’t go.” He whispered.
Emma started to protest but he put a finger to her lips.
“I have something I want to show you.”
Sister Mitchell looked up suspiciously as they left but when she saw it was Peter and Emma, she relaxed. She trusted them. They were the prime example of a couple of good Mormons and she figured they wouldn’t do anything wrong.
As they walked swiftly down the dimly lit hallways, Emma spoke softy, “Where are we going?” When Peter only smiled, she sighed.
They ascended a staircase and Peter stopped at the first door on their left. He held the door open for Emma and followed her in silently, flicking the light on.
After Emma’s eyes got adjusted to the flood of bright light, she shrugged her shoulders. It was just her old primary room. She had spent seven years here every Sunday for an hour having to endure endless sharing times and primary songs.
Emma stopped reflecting when Peter turned off the light. Puzzled, she looked across the room at him only to see a beam of moonlight shining on his face. Looking up she realized it came from the sunroof above their heads.
Wow, she mused. She had forgotten all about it. It was about six feet wide and eight feet long. Since there were no windows in this room, it had been built roughly ten years ago. Emma could remember always wanting to sit under it in primary in order to be bathed in warm sunshine. She could remember crying when an older girl, practically a beehive, had thrown her out of it only to occupy it herself. It was hard to believe she could be in two very different situations in the same room. Whereas before she had been stuck in a bright room with a bunch of annoying, smelly, little kids, now she was in the same room lit with moonlight staring at her boyfriend.
Peter surprised her and suddenly stretched out on the dark carpet beneath the sunroof. He gazed at her and seemed to be inviting her silently with his eyes to lye beside him.
She regarded him for a minute, a little hesitant. What if someone were to barge in on them? Almost as soon as this thought crossed her mind, she swept it away like an ugly cobweb. What were the chances of that happening? Hopefully, the leaders would just assume her and Peter had gone home.
Before she knew it she was beside him, sharply aware of his body inches from her own. He grinned at her and then pointed above them at the sunroof. Emma gasped in delight.
The night was clear and enchanting. The sky almost looked like a purple blanket speckled with stars of the purest silver. The moon outshone everything else. It was full and a beautiful white. She could even see the milky way snaking through the sky.
“Woe,” she said breathlessly, “it’s amazing. How did you know it would be like this?”
“Some nights when I’m stressed or bummed about something, I come up here to clear my head and cool down.” He explained.
Emma looked at him questioningly.
“How do you get in? The church is locked at night.” When she brought this up, he smiled.
“I saw my dad put in the code once and sort of memorized it.”
That explained it, Emma thought. To unlock the church doors you had to know a code that could be typed into a device that opened up next to the entrance.
An awkward silence hung between them. Emma had something on her mind but wasn’t sure how Peter would respond. Then again, she knew he would be honest with her.
“Peter can I ask you a question?”
He looked at her quickly. “Yeah, sure. What is it?”
Emma took a deep breath. “What do you see in me? I mean, you are the only boyfriend I have ever had and I mean, obviously what’s not to like about you? You’re cute, nice, spiritual—" She stopped, embarrassed, as it dawned on her that she probably sounded like an idiot.
Before she could recover and apologize for her rambling however, he answered her. “How can I not like you? First of all you’re beautiful and forgive me for sounding lame, have the most entrancing eyes I have ever seen. But really that’s not the real reason I love you. It’s your spirit Em. Your love for the gospel and your faith. You had me from the moment you bore your testimony three months ago. None of the other girls I have dated are as passionate about the gospel as you are. Now having gotten to know you even better, I know I could marry you.”
Emma was almost speechless.
“I—" It was too hard to put into words. “Oh.” She replied lamely.
Peter had never spoken to her about marriage before and just the thought of it made her whole body tingle with happiness. Of course she felt the same way about him! Of course she could marry him!
“I want to marry you too!” She burst out before Peter thought she hadn’t approved of what he had implied.
He laughed, and Emma realized she must have sounded like a crazy woman.
“I mean, I love you too and getting to know you has shown me that I could marry you also.” She said quietly.
When he didn’t reply, she went on. “My mom once told me she didn’t believe teenagers had the ability to love. She said they were too selfish and didn’t understand what love was. Having met you, I know for a fact that that isn’t true.”
They were both on their knees now, facing each other. Peter’s eyes were boring into hers. She met his gaze even as he leaned toward her once more. This time she was ready. As their lips touched Emma was aware that she didn’t care to control herself this time and apparently Peter didn’t either. His arms wrapped around her and she followed suit. In a few seconds she felt herself falling forward. Peter had lain back and brought her down with him. Guiltily, it occurred to her she was lying on top of and making out with a boy who was preparing to go on a mission. Something deep inside her that had remained dormant all her life was awakened and the guilt left so fast all she could see or feel was Peter.
Because they were so preoccupied with each other, they didn’t hear the quick footsteps coming down the hallway. Nor did they notice the door opening and the figure standing there shocked.
Emma broke away from Peter for a moment.
“Let me pull my hair back.” She said. While she was twisting the hair tie around her hair, her hand froze. She took a quick intake of breath. There was a very confused miamaid standing in the doorway, wide-eyed.
“What’s the mat—" Peter stopped when he saw the girl. Fear, confusion, and then realization seemed to hit him one by one. He jumped to his feet much too fast and strode on out the door, leaving Emma there with her hand still twisted in her hair.
For the fifth time Emma called Peter’s cell phone. Once again, she got his voice mail. This wasn’t like Peter. He always answered the phone, sometimes in the middle of class. Worried and discouraged, she tried phoning his house.
“Hello?” a quiet female voice murmured in her ear. It was Sister Williams, Peter’s mom.
“Hi, is Peter there?” Emma asked.
There was a slight pause.
“May I ask who’s calling?”
Emma thought that was strange. She had called Peter’s house at least three hundred times before and Sister Williams had never failed to recognize her voice.
“It’s Emma.” Again there was a pause.
“Oh. Well,” Sister Williams sounded slightly flustered, “Peter’s working on schoolwork right now and really can’t talk at the moment.”
“Um, alright. Can you please tell him I called?” Some ominous feeling told Emma she had asked in vain.
“Sure thing.” Peter’s mom answered. Then Emma heard a clicking and she knew Sister Williams had hung up. No goodbye. No nothing.
Emma sat on her bed in consternation. Her calendar on the wall showed it was Sunday. Peter never did homework on Sunday. He knew the Sabbath was a day of rest and he considered homework, well, work. Besides, even if he had been doing homework, Sister Williams would have gone to get him immediately because she loved Emma. Peter would have taken a break to talk to his girlfriend.
Then another thought hit Emma. What if this all had to do with Saturday morning? She hadn’t had the chance to talk to Peter the whole rest of the day but she was tired and assumed he was too. Today was different thought, and she was sure he had gotten the rest he needed. Why wouldn’t he talk to her now? She hadn’t seen him at church because he was in a different ward. No chance to talk to him there. It had deeply troubled her when he had left the room like that, not even saying goodbye.
Even though her mind fought her, she thought back on the moment. The girl who had seen them was Terry Walters, a quiet, and shy miamaid who often appeared detached from the other young women. The fact that it had only been her who had caught them had left Emma feeling more than a little relieved. Terry wouldn’t tell a soul. She was much too introverted. Now if it had been the ward gossip, Megan Blagg, that would have been a completely different story.
Emma stared at the ceiling in confusion. What was Peter avoiding her for then? Well, it’ll have to wait till tomorrow, she thought resignedly.
Emma left her bedroom slowly as she heard her mom’s shout calling her down to set the table for dinner.
Algebra was usually brutal on Mondays. This Monday was no different, if not worse. Mrs. Turner, Emma’s very emotional Algebra teacher, droned on and on about the difference between permutations and combinations. Emma wasn’t even half listening, which wasn’t the wisest move considering her low algebra grade. It was the only subject she struggled with and to do well in it she had to give each ninety-minute class her full attention.
Carelessly, she let her eyes wander to one of the walls where there was a picture of a man skydiving with the words, Make it happen, underneath it. She wondered if Peter had ever been skydiving. Emma shook her head in frustration. Why couldn’t she just stop thinking about him for one second? Last night she had even dreamed about him. Every dream was strictly PG of course, but still. She strived to make herself concentrate on the numbers on the overhead with the exclamation marks after them. Why in the world were there exclamation marks after numbers? She tried to harness in that thought, hoping it would attract similar academic bemusements. I wonder if Peter knows why? Snap. The thoughts in her head broke away, once again beyond control. Annoyed and defeated, Emma rested her chin on her hand and let Peter inhabit her brain.
When the bell rang, Emma was out into the hall so fast you would have thought she was trying to escape an explosion. She began to calculate in her head. Let’s see, Peter is getting out of chemistry right now, so if I make a left past the staff bathroom, I should run into him. Determined, she carried out her plan.
When she rounded the corner, Peter’s tall form entered her line of sight. But something was wrong. He was going the opposite way, taking a much longer and complicated route to his Spanish class upstairs.
“Peter!” she yelled so loud someone a mile away could have heard. Miraculously, Peter didn’t, or didn’t want to. He just kept walking, staring at his watch as he did so. Though she desperately wanted to follow him, Emma knew she would be late and so made her way to English.
The parking lot was packed after school when Peter found Emma waiting for him at his car. He had a group of friends with him and didn’t look happy to see her at all.
“Hey.” She greeted him. Before he had a chance to answer, she walked up to him directly.
“I haven’t been able to talk to you all day.” It was true. Every time she had tried to catch up with and talk to Peter he had slipped quickly out of sight.
She took his hand and then went up to kiss him. To her dismay, he yanked his hand out of hers and backed up hastily. His hands were up like she was a cop or something.
“Back off,” he said taking no thought to lower his voice.
Emma was dumbfounded.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, reaching for his hand once more.
“You.” He didn’t even hesitate.
“What?” Emma couldn’t believe her ears. Peter’s friends all stared at her, nodding as if they knew exactly what he was talking about. Their faces were set and stony.
“What did I do?” She asked, all the while racking her brain and trying to come up with all the possible reasons Peter could be upset with her.
“What didn’t you do?!” he shouted at her, clearly unaware she had no idea what he was referring to.
“Oh don’t give me this innocent act.” He said. She had a bewildered look on her face.
“Saturday morning. There, I said it. Are you happy? Want me to spell it out for you? You wanted a lot more than a kiss. You nearly attacked me.” Peter let it all out angrily.
His words came out of his mouth like venom, causing Emma to feel suddenly poisoned. Indignation soon took place of self-pity.
“Woe, woe, woe.” She started. “We were just kissing and you were all over me! Jeez, if I remember right, you made the first move.”
Various conversations across the parking lot came to a standstill as the two angry voices reached the students. A group started to gather around Peter’s car.
Peter chuckled mirthlessly. “You have got to be kidding me.” He regarded her with disdain. “You’re a slut, and clearly, this relationship is over.” With that, he nodded to his friends, got in his car, and drove off.
The crowd was almost as astonished as Emma was. Soon Peter’s words began to register with them. They all stalked away, leaving Emma weeping silently.
One week, two weeks, three weeks passed and Emma couldn’t remember a more miserable time in her life. Peter Williams was the hero and heartthrob of Logan High School. Whatever he said, went. He said Emma was a slut, and so she became one overnight in the eyes of the student body. They shunned and avoided her like the Plague. She felt like a leper, without the bell announcing her presence. As far as she was concerned, it didn’t matter because they managed to ignore her anyway. Even her best friend Brianne had stopped returning her calls or sitting with her at lunch. She was alone and it was agonizing. Being dumped and insulted by Peter had been like a knife in the heart. Each time she saw him the wound opened up fresh, bleeding freely. Their breakup and the details thereof had spread like wildfire throughout her church also. The Laurel class looked down on her and the leaders tried desperately to get through to her. She wouldn’t tell them a thing. She couldn’t. It hurt too much. Her mom didn’t quite understand either. Sister Williams had called her and relayed the whole story on the phone, Peter’s version that is. Unfortunately, Emma’s mom bought every word of it, and as a result cornered Emma while she was in her room on Thursday.
“Emma, we need to talk.” She said sternly.
Emma looked up in surprise.
“I just got a call from Sister Williams…”
Listening to Peter’s lie spill out of her mom’s mouth made Emma want to vomit. Trying her best to channel her anger, she listened patiently until her mom had finished.
Finally her mom stopped, staring at her intently.
Emma was so fed up with everything, she talked to her mom calmly.
“It’s a lie, Mom. Peter made it all up. I wasn’t trying anything. We were just kissing.” Angry tears welled up in her eyes. “I thought you knew me!” She yelled. “I would never do anything like that!” Her ferocity was out of control now. Standing up passionately, she threw her arms up in the air.
“Why won’t anyone believe me?! What did I do to deserve this?! Why does everyone hate me?!” She screamed. Emotionally exhausted, Emma collapsed on her bed, the tears shaking her body.
Her mom’s face softened and then fell. She sat next to her and put her hand on her back lovingly. “Oh Em, I’m so sorry.”
Emma was rather grateful it was the day of the homecoming dance. It distracted everyone from the most recent leading subject of gossip, her. The halls were buzzing with girls jabbering excitedly about what color their homecoming dresses were or boys looking around for a last minute date.
During her classes, Emma tried hard to focus. She fought off thoughts about how she and Peter had been planning to go to the dance together. What did it matter now? She thought sadly. She would never even consider taking him back after what he did to her.
When Emma got home that day, she went straight to her room and took a nap.
She had the strangest dream. She was wearing the homecoming dress she had worn last year when she had gone with her friends. All around her hung a shroud of thick fog. The only thing she could see was a lone figure. It was a person standing high up on something. The fog obscured that something from Emma’s vision. The figure waved a salutation and then beckoned for her to follow. Wondering how she could possibly get up there with the person, Emma began to walk. As she did, a marble staircase formed beneath her feet, leading right up to the figure. Soon she found herself right next to him. Emma didn’t know how she knew it was a guy. She just sensed it. Up close he had on a suit and tie, but his face was blurred, rendering it impossible for her to make out who it was. He grabbed her hand and suddenly, the scene around them changed. They were at the homecoming dance. Strings of balloons lined the walls. A shining, multi-covered disco ball hung above them. A soft song played from the CD player. The chair reserved for the DJ was empty. Come to think of it, Emma realized as she looked around, there is no one here. Just her and her mysterious companion. Emma thought she saw the guy looking at her. At least he inclined his head toward her. He was taller than her. Almost on impulse they began to dance. Emma longed to speak. To ask this guy who he was and why he had brought her here. She opened her mouth, but perceiving something wasn’t right, closed it again. This meeting was meant to be silent. It had to be. Somehow she knew this just as she had known the figure was male. At the end of the dance he bent down and kissed her. As their lips met and then parted, she knew it was Peter. Then she opened her eyes.
As she walked to the homecoming dance from the student parking lot, Emma was going over the dream in her mind. Why had it come to her? She knew it meant she was supposed to be here, the last place on earth she wanted to be. Why had dancing with Peter been so satisfying, even after she knew it was him? She had been positive before that she would never be able to forgive him. Now, something was different. Something had changed and had drawn Emma to this dance. She knew something had to be done.
As the gymnasium doors appeared before her and the loud rap music filled her ears, Emma stopped dead in her tracks. She felt like she was going to have a panic attack. What was she doing here? This was the stupidest choice she had ever made in her life. The people in there dancing and having fun hated her. What made her think coming here would solve anything? Going over all this in her mind, she was about to leave when she felt something. A strange but wonderful feeling swept over her body and she knew this was where she needed to be. Without further ado, Emma forced herself to smile and walked through the gym doors.
The setting that met her eyes was no surprise. It was exactly like her dream. The balloons, disco ball, and music system. The only difference was the presence of her classmates and a DJ. Couples were dancing to the music blaring from the speakers. Some guy was right under the disco ball break dancing. Now what? Emma thought helplessly as she moved further into the gymnasium. People were suddenly aware of her arrival. Angry stares stung at her from every side. She tried her best to ignore them and went to pour herself a cup of punch.
Another fast song started as Emma finished up her punch. Not having anything better to do, she filled up another cup. This is going to be a long night, she thought, still wondering what was keeping her there.
Someone tapped her on the shoulder just as a slow song began to play. Surprised, she turned around, figuring it was some hostile student about to tell her to move over so they could have some punch. A guy stood there instead and didn’t seem threatening. He had on sunglasses, jeans, and a hooded sweatshirt. His hood cast a dark shadow over his face, making his features barely distinguishable. Confused, she stared at him, not being able to tell whether it was Peter or not. The guy was definitely tall enough. His voice answered all her questions. “May I have this dance?” he asked politely, in a voice much too deep for Peter’s.
A little disappointed, but aware that the guy was awaiting her reply, she said slowly, “Sure.”
In a moment he had taken her by the hand and led her to the dance floor. There was something about his touch that made Emma’s arm tingle. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but for some reason it felt right.
He was a great dancer and Emma was struggling to stay in step with him. She was suddenly nervous, but couldn’t fathom why. Then he started talking to her and she relaxed a bit. They talked about favorite movies and hobbies, nothing special. One thing was strange though. The mysterious guy never asked Emma her name and because of this she didn’t care to ask him his. When the song ended and they thanked each other, the guy looked at her silently for a second. At least she thought he was looking at her, it was hard to tell with the sunglasses on.
“Do you want to sit down and talk?” he asked hesitantly. She agreed readily, not even thinking about how odd the request was at the time. She had just met this guy and didn’t even know what his name was. Why was she so eager to talk to him?
Emma followed the guy to the line of chairs along the side of the gym. They sat down and once again words came easily. School, sports, movies, music, hobbies, religion. Apparently, he was Mormon too. Emma wondered why he was bothering to be nice to her. Hadn’t her reputation preceded her? Soon, she found herself relaying the whole story to him, all of her suffering and pain. She could tell this hurt him, and for a while they were both quiet. He was staring at the floor, seemingly lost in thought.
After about a minute or so he brought his head up. “Let’s talk outside.” He said quietly.
Once again Emma consented without thinking and found herself outside with this complete stranger, standing in the student parking lot. No one else was around. Everyone was in the gym still. Emma threw a quick glance at her cell phone and saw that it was only 11:50. There was still forty minutes of dancing left. Then she turned to her strange companion and waited for him to say something. When he finally did, she gasped. His voice had changed. It wasn’t deep anymore and Emma recognized it immediately.
“I am so sorry.” Peter said compassionately, removing his hood and glasses.
Emma stood there frozen, unable to speak. She couldn’t believe her eyes. So this is why she had been impressed to come here. Peter was here after all seeking forgiveness. Emma knew what the right thing to do was. Hadn’t The Savior taught to forgive? Forgive and forget. She had been taught that concept growing up in church more times than she could count. It had sounded so simple then, all it took was a few words of assurance. But Emma knew that wasn’t true. She had to forgive Peter in her heart and this seemed way beyond her capacity. She couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t. The misery of the last three weeks flooded her brain, making it hard to see or feel much else. Peter had made life almost unbearable for her, and now he thought a simple “sorry” could change all that? No, it wouldn’t. Emma didn’t smile.
“I can’t believe you.” She whispered.
Peter started to say something, but she talked over him. “Do you know how miserable I have been? You ruined my reputation. I was friendless for three weeks! All because you decided to lie. What you did Peter, was the cruelest thing anyone has ever done to me. And you just stand there and apologize? You think that makes it all better? Well guess what? It doesn’t. You made everyone hate me.” Tears streamed down her face as she remembered vividly the last three weeks. No, it was impossible to forgive him. At least not yet, not so soon.
She spun around to leave, but Peter’s eyes stopped her. This time it had nothing to do with the beauty of them. They were wet. He was crying. Emma stopped in her tracks, staring at him in disbelief. Out of all the ways Peter could have reacted, Emma did not expect this one. Ever since Peter was kid, he had never cried. Even when he was in physical pain, a tear never escaped his eyes. In middle school, Emma saw him break his leg without even wincing. Peter didn’t even cry when he bore his testimony, and yet Emma knew it was heartfelt because they had always left her cheeks tear-stained.
“I’m—I’m sorry.” Peter repeated, his voice quavering slightly. “I didn’t know you were in so much pain. If I had known this was going to happen I never would have lied. But I was so scared.” Emma continued to stare at him, still openly shocked. Peter never admitted to being scared. He had seemed like Superman to her. Now he was human.
“All my life people around me had expected so much of me. I was to excel at sports, get good grades, and serve a mission. Then I would go to BYU with a scholarship and find my eternal companion. When I met you I knew I had already found her. I love you Emma and always will. When we were caught that night I was worried. Sure that girl doesn’t say much, but I couldn’t be sure. If she did, my reputation would be ruined. It was selfish and foolish thinking. I tried to avoid you at first and pretend nothing had happened. Because of my feelings for you, this was extremely difficult. When you confronted me, I did something inexcusable. I lied and insulted you shamefully. All I can say is sorry. I am so sorry.” His voice had grown stronger with each word, and the tears were gone now.
Emma felt two very different emotions then before. Sympathy and love. She could forgive him now because she could see he was truly sorry.
“I understand Peter.” She replied before he could say another word. “And I forgive you.” A marvelous feeling washed over her. This was the right thing to do. She guessed Peter felt the same way, because a look of sublimity and contentment shown on his face.
Deeply moved now, Emma went forward to hug him just as the giant school clock chimed midnight. To her dismay, she fell right through Peter. She gasped and reached out for his arm. Once more she felt nothing. Frightened, she glanced quickly at Peter. The contentment she had seen on his face a few seconds before was replaced with remorse.
“I am so sorry, Em.” He uttered sofly. “I died yesterday in a car accident. My car flipped and fell into a ditch. I was the only one on the highway and the roads were wet. They haven’t found my body yet. I was on my way to my brother’s to stay the weekend, thrilled that I got to miss school on Friday. My family is worried sick about me. I’m surprised the news hasn’t spread to the school yet.”
Wide-eyed, Emma didn’t dare to believe her ears.
“When my spirit crossed over I was given another chance to come back here for a day and correct any wrongs I had made. I was able to retain a physical body for 24 hours and then return. My time is up.”
Emma stuttered, “N-n-n-no, it can’t be.” She started shaking. Peter dead? What?
Peter stared at her with longing for a moment. “I knew I needed your forgiveness. That’s why you were compelled to come here tonight. I was calling for you. I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to die. I—" He stopped, lost for words. Finally he said, “I love you Em, but now I must go. Farewell, and thank you for forgiving me.
Emma returned the loving goodbye. Then despairingly, she watched as Peter ascended into the heavens.
