Topic ID: 3416
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Elizabeth
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 Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 4:56 am Post subject: Dad |
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Dad
If you weren't here for me
I wouldn't know I was pretty
Or smart
Or a good girl
Dad,
If it wasn't for you
I wouldn't be the girl I am today
Molded into an obidient hard rock
Just like you intended
Dad,
For all the times I whined
For all the times I cried
For all those times I threw fits
I want to thank you for standing by me
Dad,
For all the yelling
For all the screaming, grounding,
Disipline and rules I hated bound to me
I thank you
Dad, I love you |
Last edited by Elizabeth on Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:10 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Sam
sister nebraska
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| Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 5:06 am Post subject: |
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'Molded into an obidient hard rock
Just like you intended'
Uhm...woah. This is not exactly a way to show respect to your Daddy-O, if you get what I mean.  He probably doesn't want to be likened to Fidel Castro, don't you think? Lol. Good stuff, man. |
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 5:10 am Post subject: |
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| Well some parents like their kids to be GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD :nudge nudge: Fidel Castro? Should I tell my dad you're being mean/nice to him? I don't know which one. |
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Duskglimmer
is happy in anywhere but there
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| Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 9:10 pm Post subject: Re: Dad |
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Over all... nice job. I really liked most of it...
"Dad,
For all the times I whined
For all the times I cried
For all those little toys I wanted
I want to thank you for standing by me"
The line "For all those little toys I wanted" doesn't really seem to fit into this stanza in my mind.
And I think that you could have done entirely without the last line and just left it at a thank you, but that's just me.
I really enjoyed reading this. |
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kutestuff003
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| Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2005 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Nice poem Liz....you have the skills to be a good writer...which is one thing I don't quite have but I am about to leave to head home to Minnesota so I will call you when I get back. Tell Lucier I said Hi |
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 10:48 pm Post subject: |
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| I will... I will... I just got back form the Dells myself. But I will... |
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McKnight
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| Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 5:58 am Post subject: |
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| A very excellent piece, it really brings out the fact of affection for your father. Now if only I could say that about my father....pshhh yeah right! |
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Jennafina
it's not you, it's Utah
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| Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 6:52 am Post subject: |
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| Hmmm.. Your poem sounds more apologetic than apreciative... With bitter undertones.. Poor daddy. Ouch. |
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