Stop The Scrolling Header | Enable the Scrolling Header

Firefox 3

News:  

NaNoWriMo

YWS Birthday Smash!
Username:    Password:      Log me on automatically each visit    
Post Your NaNo '08 Wordcount!
Post Your NaNo '08 Wordcount!

by BigBadBear in NaNoWriMo
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Romantic Fiction

This thread was created on July 26, 2008
Post new topic   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.
Digg It Del.icio.us

Related Items
Possible Related Items Follow:
I could talk to you forever
Forever and always.
Forever comes too soon
Forever rewrite chapter 1
Forever rewrite chapter 2
Forever rewrite chapter 3
Forever rewrite chapter 5

Forever rewrite chapter 4

Topic ID: 33597
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Alice   View This User's Portfolio
Disaster Zone
Writer of Legend

259
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 15
Joined: 28 Jan 2007
Posts: 5325
Reviews: 259
Country: In a book or a story, anywhere but here
300 Points

PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 9:19 pm    Post subject: Forever rewrite chapter 4 Reply with quote

Sorry this story has been deleted.


_________________
I'm Alice.

For the record, I'm not a crack addict, I don't chase rabits wearing waistcoats down holes, and I can't see the future.

And if you don't get any of those you epic fail.


Last edited by Alice on Mon Aug 04, 2008 8:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
alwaysawriter   View This User's Portfolio
Fake a smile and walk away.
Speaker of the Forum

122
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 14
Joined: 04 May 2008
Posts: 869
Reviews: 122
Country: Hiding where , somehow, everyone can find me.
313 Points

PostPosted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 4:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
But did
Don't start a sentence with an interjection.

Quote:
paranoia, he
Semi-colon instead of a comma.

Quote:
her, and
Take out And and replace the comma with a semi-colon.

Quote:
tomorrow, and
No comma.

Quote:
He would take her to the club tomorrow, and tell her then. Right after he bribed DJ into playing her favorite song.
Combine these two sentences.

Quote:
her, and
No comma.

Quote:
played, they
Semi-colon.

Quote:
He didn’t care what game he played, they were all mind numbing at three in the morning. So any game would do.
Combine these two sentences.

Quote:
up, and
No comma.

Quote:
groaned, why’d
Semi-colon.

Quote:
yeah. Last
Capitalize the Y in Yeah.

Quote:
Oh well
Comma and add Are after it.

Quote:
you knew
Capitalize the Y in You.

Quote:
He glanced at his mom, she was preparing his weekly chores list.
"He glanced at his mom, who was preparing his weekly chores list."

Quote:
makin
Makin'

Quote:
damn it really was
Take this out.

Quote:
II’ll
I'll

Quote:
Okay bye
Comma after Okay.

Quote:
The three tasks he set forth on first. Eagerly anticipating the night.
Combine this two sentences.

I liked it. Smile

_________________
Need help? PM me or e-mail me! A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong. -Orson Welles. [JabberHut] 4:41 pm: I love how you say you're late when you're not late, Always XD -on me zoning out
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Teague   View This User's Portfolio
don't touch me, i'm nanoing
Master of the Forum

482
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 15
Joined: 16 Oct 2006
Posts: 2013
Reviews: 482
Country: A ship! With me crew!
300 Points

PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

**LOCKED** by request.

-

_________________
"If you don't vote, you're a moron." - Craig Ferguson
"Thank you for choosing Saint Razorblade Stick Beatings, where we really stick it to you - with a stick!" -Mattster
"Begone, earth logic! You have no place here!" -Black Cat Sachiko
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
This thread was created on July 26, 2008
Post new topic   This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.
   Young Writers Society Forum Index » Romantic Fiction All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You can attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum
This thread was created on July 26, 2008

Graphics By Bobo | YWS Sword & Shield Logo by Bobo
Bartemius says, Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd. - Voltaire
Contact | Memberlist | Copyright Policy | YWS Store | Site Map
Facebook |  Goodreads |  Live Journal |  MySpace |  Wikipedia

© 2004 - 2008 The Young Writers Society