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Curlyqpride
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 Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:21 am Post subject: CurlyQPride |
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CurlyQPride
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Bouncy-bouncy everywhere.
Grows out and down,
that’s my hair.
*Boing-boing* when I walk.
Brown, BIG, tightens and locks.
Can’t wear a hat.
Can’t comb it.
It always has to tear.
In humid weather, expect frizz.
That’s my hair.
If I do wear a hat, it takes a cinch
That I will look like “weird al” Yankovic.
Earrings get caught, so hard to maintain.
Air-dry when wet, then I get my mane (*rawr!*).
But overall
Through all the bad hair days,
through all the frizzy that goes with the sad days.
I touch my hair and shake it up.
I love it.
I enjoy it,
and thank god for what I got.
***CURLYQPRIDE!***
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To anyone who has curly hair and is proud of it, put ***CurlyQPride*** in there sig (or for any reason at all, straight and wavy people hair rock too!). YWS forever! -Love-Curly |
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kittykat
la lalala la...
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| Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:31 am Post subject: |
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Cute poem, I liked it.
...
Sorry that, that wasn't helpful, but I didn't really find anything wrong. It a cute little poem, simple as that. ^_^
-kittykat |
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Jasmine Hart
Laced With Darkness
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| Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:36 pm Post subject: |
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This is a nice fun poem.The tone is great throughout. I really love;
"Bouncy-bouncy everywhere."
and
"I will look like “weird al” Yankovic.
Earrings get caught, so hard to maintain.
Air-dry when wet, then I get my mane "
The last line is a bit overly sweet for my taste...but I'm a bit of a cynic so feel free to ignore me on that one.
I'd suggest reading it aloud so that you can get a better sense of the rhythm.
Hope this helps.
And welcome to YWS!
Jas |
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Livinginfantasy
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| Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:13 pm Post subject: |
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Really cute. It has a lot of voice and I like the structure!
Sorry that wasn't very constructive! 
Keep writing, and keep up the curlyqpride! |
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Jay
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| Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 12:37 am Post subject: |
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| Like the others, I found it cute and funny. I love the line "that I will look like weird Al Yankovic" |
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iQuippie
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| Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 10:49 pm Post subject: |
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Aww. How cute ^_^
There's no way for me to critique something like that... it's too cute for criticism. Haha. Keep writing. |
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Curlyqpride
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| Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 4:55 am Post subject: |
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| Thank you so much everyone! *blushes* You all are so nice! |
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Fangala the Flying Feline
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| Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 2:10 pm Post subject: |
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Wonderful! Darling! Fabulous!
This is so cute, and I really relate to this poem because it describes my hair in perfect accuracy. Curly hair is a blessing and a curse, but it's worth all the admiring old ladies touching it and saying, "I wish I had hair like yours!" Do people do that to you? I'm sure they do. It's very tempting to reach out and "boing!" someone's curls.
Anyway, the poem is great. Flows smoothly, nice imagery. I look forward to more of your work. |
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Curlyqpride
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| Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 7:29 pm Post subject: |
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LOL! About the old lady thing, I guess it must be a common for curly hair!! I always have teachers wild over my hair XD
Thank you soo much  Your awesome! |
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andimlovegalore
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| Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 8:10 pm Post subject: |
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I love the Weird Al reference. Awesome =D I have curly hair as well, I used to hate it SO much but now I put it in plaits evey time after I wash it and it keeps it down something awesome.
This poem is funny ^_^ sorry I can't say anything more helpful, I just like it a lot. |
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