Stop The Scrolling Header | Enable the Scrolling Header

Firefox 3
News:  
Let The Games Begin: The Writing Olympics!

Event #5 Results!
  Young Writers Society - Community Forums For Young Writers
Username:    Password:      Log me on automatically each visit    
Gray (II)
Gray (II)
by ~Volant~ in Scripts
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Art & Photography

This thread was created on July 12, 2008
Post new topic   Reply to topic		 Digg It Del.icio.us


The Bird & the Fish
Topic ID: 32921
 View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
clograbby   View This User's Portfolio
wabi sabi, baby
Speaker of the Forum

200
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 19
Joined: 13 Jun 2008
Posts: 719
Reviews: 200
Country: I live in art
3829 Points
PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 6:16 am    Post subject: The Bird & the Fish Reply with quote
There's this song I love by Umbrella Tree...about a bird and a fish that fall in love but can't be together because they can't breathe when they're together, in each other's realms.

So...voila! Very Happy It's an adorable song.

The Bird and the Fish.jpg
 Description:
 Filesize:  38.99 KB
 Viewed:  160 Time(s)

The Bird and the Fish.jpg

_________________
The ride does not require an explanation. Just occupants.
Waking Life
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
tdownes   View This User's Portfolio
Writer

15
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 15
Joined: 13 May 2008
Posts: 95
Reviews: 15
Country: The Lost Moon Of Poosh
213 Points
PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 7:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I like it! It's kinda cute...
Though I have to admit, their expressions don't really convey their emotions; furthermore in what the whole song is about...
But I've got admit that the fish [that goldfish, I'm assuming?] does look very real, and I should take back my comment about improving the expressions, especially the fish's, since they have a blank, expression-less stare.... I'll let you off for that...
The way you've positioned the bird; it does look inquisitive, but unfortunately when I look at this scene it just prepares me to see bloody carnage...
Overall, it's great! Very Happy

_________________
You can kill two birds with one stone.
Or you can watch them and be much happier.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
chocoholic   View This User's Portfolio
Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt
Master of the Forum

484
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 14
Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 1508
Reviews: 484
Country: Raxacoricofallapatorius
731 Points
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 5:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
It's kind of cute, but they don't really look like they're in love or anything. I reckon this would look better as a cartoon with love hearts in the eyes and everything.

The tree right above the water seems to be a weird place to put it. It's a good picture, I just don't think it can properly convey the emotion that there's supposed to be (I haven't heard the song so I don't really know).

_________________
Join the Classics Usergroup
Want your song critiqued?
Write about Murder in my new contest, Murder and Investigation
Join Songwriters Express today!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
clograbby   View This User's Portfolio
wabi sabi, baby
Speaker of the Forum

200
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 19
Joined: 13 Jun 2008
Posts: 719
Reviews: 200
Country: I live in art
3829 Points
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 5:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Oh, they're not really supposed to be conveying emotions... I meant for them to just sort of look like they really do, not cartoony.

Of course, now I see that there's really no point in drawing something like this if you're not going to portray the emotion. I probably just wanted to draw a bird and a fish, since I tend to doodle fishes especially, haha.

^_^ Thanks, everyone.

_________________
The ride does not require an explanation. Just occupants.
Waking Life
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
wisemann210   View This User's Portfolio
@(V_V)@
Novelist

63
Gender: Gender:Male
Age: 15
Joined: 07 Jun 2008
Posts: 311
Reviews: 63
Country: USA
333 Points
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 4:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
hey i liked this i liked the way the bird was just watching the fish practically saying "your lunch"
but i think you should make the fish more worried, maybe bigger eyes. also make the bird more curious and jumpy towards the fish. over all i liked this.
keep drawing
---Jon--- Very Happy

_________________
Got YWS?
Got YWS Chimped Out? If so put this in your sig:
@(V_V)@
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
gamechanger10   View This User's Portfolio
Excuse me while I kiss the sky.
Novelist

80
Gender: Gender:Female
Age: 14
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Posts: 315
Reviews: 80
Country: USA
300 Points
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 7:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
this was light and happy...sort of...if you're not the bird or the fish...

i do suggest that you change their expressions. or at least the fish's. it looks a tad scared.

they should look longingly at each other, internally torchered by their love.

yeah. thats all i would change. you have a great cartoon-y look to your piece. it's nice.

good job.


-GC10

_________________
"The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." -Mark Twain
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
Display posts from previous:   
This thread was created on July 12, 2008
Post new topic   Reply to topic		    Young Writers Society Forum Index » Art & Photography All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You can attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum
This thread was created on July 12, 2008

Graphics By Bobo | YWS Sword & Shield Logo by Bobo
Bartemius says, The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him. - Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Contact | Memberlist | Copyright Policy | YWS Store | Site Map
Facebook |  Goodreads |  Live Journal |  MySpace |  Wikipedia

© 2004 - 2008 The Young Writers Society