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sacrifice
sacrifice

by fallsforyoueasily in Lyric Poetry
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Scripts

This thread was created on July 10, 2008
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Snoink   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 2:50 am    Post subject: Test Reply with quote

PERSON 1

I am awesome!

PERSON 2

No you aren't!

PERSON 3

I kill you both! Bang bang bang!

PERSON 1 AND PERSON 2

Ohnoes, we are dead!

~The End~

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 3:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was amazing. I am dumbfounded. My head is spinning from how brilliant that was. This piece is a real tribute to the awesomeness that is Snoink. You have a real future in plays, if this is anything to go by.

The characterization was amazing. I felt like I knew these people. And the dialogue was so life-like.

I can't tell you exactly how awesome I think this is, you're brilliant!

All hail Snoink and her awesome plays!

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 3:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Probably the worst test I've ever seen.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Brilliant! Wow! I can't even believe what my eyes rae seeing! Best thing since Shakespeare! I totally agree with Chocoholic!

You have to write a part two!

-Ailam

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
PERSON 1

I am awesome!


Now, this is a very abrupt beginning. I suggest that you extend this to a rant of about sixty lines. It would also help the characterisation.

Quote:
PERSON 2

No you aren't!


I thought that this part was a bit confusing. You introduce a conflict: is the character awesome, or aren't they? This conflict could be resolved by several hundred lines of "Yes I am!" "No you aren't!"

Quote:
PERSON 3

I kill you both! Bang bang bang!


I find that this character is the most developed. They are such a fully evolved human being that explosions emit from them. Incredible. I want to know more of their background.

PERSON 1 AND PERSON 2

Ohnoes, we are dead!

A tragic ending. I almost cried.

Overall, a masterpiece. When's the sequel?

( Razz )

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Last edited by Insomnia on Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oookaaay. This play is nuts. It doesn't make any sense at all. But well done for trying.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is a crazy play. Why would people kill each other for no reason? Still, not to hard to act out and it's short.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't get it. Why did he kill them both? What is the point of the play here? I don't really call this a play. There are no scene, characters or plot that takes place. What is the point of this?

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Listen, you all. This... is... GENIOUS! Anyone who doesn't get it may want to go and see a counselor.

Peace!

-Ailam

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 1:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alleluia!

Now that's what I call a masterpiece...and whoever thinks otherwise just doesn't know the difference between true talent and everything else!

Bravo my friend...but there is one little bittie thing I'm going to ask of you...

Where's the sequal?!?!!
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 3:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love how this has gotten more reviews than anything I've ever posted. Or others. ^_^
Maybe that's what it's testing...?

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 5:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OHMYGOODNESS This is just like a movie I saw last year! It won Best Picture. It's called The Departed. This is just condensed.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

well
It had a lot of wit and watever
it was great
though there was no sense of this play
it was good for timepass.
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If only my family life were as simple as this play.

*Stars*

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This thread was created on July 10, 2008

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