So I havn't gotten many critiques on my writing so far, so anyone who critiques I will give a critique to, (instead of randomly) maybe it'll help...
This is a part of a story I am writing out of order.
Azazel:
As wrong as it was to even allow her to go on living, I had to see her again, if only to test myself, it was impossible she could effect me so… so very much. I couldn’t remember feeling so alive with such conflicting emotions ever before. It would be simple enough to orchestrate a meeting, knowing where she lives. Another thing that helped was knowing that the city dwellers had no idea what I looked like in my human form, a form I felt more comfortable and more vulnerable in, a form I delighted in letting lore build about; lore that turned me into a one eyed bald man with a jagged scar and an even more jagged sword, or a horrendously fat man, or in rare cases a grandmotherly old woman. I left my fortress to find her with happy thoughts about my reputation and mystery floating about my skull, much like a soft wispy baby blue blanket on a new born.
She was walking down the street, her expression troubled, and I had never seen a more lovely sight, a sight I needed to be mine. The emotions filled me again, violent and unfamiliar. I struggled more than I had struggled with anything in years just to not sprout my wings and swoop for her… but to do what? Eat her? Destroy her? Rape? Simply gently embrace? I knew the last one was nothing more than fantasy, if I attempted to embrace her, my restraint at that point would not be enough to stop me from crushing the life out of her… come to think of it, rape wouldn’t work either unless I was willing to do it with her carcass, for surely she would be dead before I could begin, and I wasn’t a sicko then and have no intention of ever being.
I hadn’t made up my mind when she looked up, a startled look in her sweet sea green soft eyes as she met mine. My stomach ordered me to bite her head off and swallow it simultaneously. The audacity of it! I who take orders from no one, ordered by a mere organ! Since when was Human my favorite food? since when was I such a cannibal? I much prefer sweet fruits and lamb. Sure I was a cannibal but first I was an omnivore. Have to stay healthy after all. As it were, my contrary nature stopped me from slaughter at that moment, and I vowed that when I killed her, it would be slowly and premeditated, not a fit of passion.
Besides, it would be a waste to destroy the most gorgeous thing I had ever beheld without appreciating it for a while first, I could not honestly call myself I cultured man if I did that, now could I?
It was then that I, realizing that my original plan for introducing myself would result in a loss of self control, stood at a loss for the first time in ages. I averted my gaze for fear she would see me staring and by some twist of fate, suspect that I was the one who killed her friends, the tyrant who ruled the city with a “cruel” iron fist. I had at least no fear she would see me as that boy who felt such affection for her; he was long dead, my first victim.
Looking back a few moments later I saw she had not averted her gaze as is natural for strangers, a nice wide opening.
Kali:
I felt eyes on me and looked up, no, it couldn’t be! Yossarian had been dead for years, yet those eyes, they-they had the same unusual color-a color I had kept in my memory as fancifully attractive and understanding to a young girl, these new familiar eyes were impossibly alluring, but so cruel. Orange had always been my favorite color, because of Yossarian’s eyes, but those eyes gave orange a new more sinister feel. It was then I saw the face; impossibly handsome and a mature version of young Yossarian’s. I was clearly delusional, and in my delusions I wished I were wearing a dress instead of the men’s trouser’s I always wore. A nervousness replaced my usual confidence and I couldn’t look away. I finally blinked and he was right in front of me.
“Hallo, hallo! You know it is rude to stare! Especially at someone new to the city, such as myself, makes me feel unwelcome.” such a deep enchanting voice! The man was not at all awkward like Yossarian, and his smile was easy and open, no trace of the cruelty I thought I had seen.
I blushed for the first time since Yossarian’s death, and for a moment I thought I saw the handsome stranger brace himself, but no, my imagination was running wild again, “H-hello, I’m, I mean I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” the blush had spread and to my horror lay on my tongue like a fuzzy kitty impending my speech.
The man, who I noticed at this point must have been at least six foot three, well his smile I mean, seemed frozen for a moment, before he answered, as Sauvé the now cool cruel cat on my tongue, “That’s alright, but as payment for resting your eyes upon my already weary face, you must show me around and help me find a place to rest my equally weary eyes; a cheap boarding house, but first help me find food.”
I smiled and eagerly accepted, there was something I had to do, but if he could make me forget so easily it couldn’t have been that important. I wondered: could it be love at first sight? I came down to reality when I remembered I was wearing men’s cloths; he could never love me, soon enough he would find a ‘real’ girl to show him around, and maybe even bed with. Resentment for that girl, who god so clearly blessed, swelled unfairly in me; I didn’t even know this man’s name and here I was resenting his imagined lovers.
“What is your name?” I spoke carefully and slowly to spite that cat.
“You can call me Leander, and you?”
“And me what?” Of course he wasn’t Yossarian, I should have known
better.
“Your name?”
“Oh, uh, ha ha, Kali."









