This is the slightly edited version. I didn't change much.



Plaintively Gray



Somewhere in the world, ancient oaks cast 

silhouettes against a scorching copper sky. 

But here I am, mourning you. 

The boy I want is as lost as a wish in the well. 

E minor strikes accord with the ravaged sky,

With the hook ripping my heart, intensifying the 

Trepidation.  I miss you and 

I never had you to begin with. 

You were holding hands, but not with me.

Not with me.



I always thought love came in glimpses 

And half smiles, just like the movies. But

I learned that those tricks don’t bring 

Affection. They are as barren and 

Broken as the desert rocks cracking 

In the heat.



Clouds roll by, sail by like slow moving ships. But 

They still move faster than us, because there is no “us”.

Not with me anyway. 



I want to hear your thoughts, knowing that

They will never feature me in the lead role. They are 

Plaintively gray, like the color of a bleak winter day. 

I have no hold on you, just like the sands on the waves—

You spill over, imprinting on me, leaving ripples 

And feelings, but I can never hold on.

Holding hands, but not with me.

Not with me.



Somewhere in the world, harsh light glances

Off icicles hanging over a gorge. 

And I hurt. 

I hate myself for being so desperate, for 

The wistful way I want you—you, boy, aren’t 

Worth my misery. But I still can’t get 

A hold of myself when I see you.

Holding hands, but not with me.

Not with me.