As he reached down to check the time on his pocket watch he felt a firm hand on his shoulder. “Are looking for someone from the 3:15 flight from Miami?” a man in a blue uniform asked.

“Yes I am, my son.”

“ Sir, you may want to sit down” the voice continued.

His body trembled like an earthquake he didn’t want to move from the terror of what could be happening to his son. Was he OK, did he get lost it all seemed to go by so slow, he wasn’t getting an answer. The man slowly started to sit down, his soft green eyes slowly shut as memories of his son’s childhood flashed before him. It all seemed so long ago but the memories flashed back as if it were yesterday.

“James you need to quiet down daddy has a very important phone call to make,” The father commanded. That’s all he seemed to do was yell at James for being to loud, he always had phone calls to make but now the only question on his mind was, was he there for James enough growing up.

As more and more memories went through his head he couldn’t remember a day that he didn’t have phone calls to make, a day where him and James could be together alone. Now all he wanted was one more chance to make things right for him and James.

His eyes started to open and the memories slowed to an end. “Sir, your sons plane has crashed, he has been rushed to a hospital and is in critical condition we aren’t sure if he is going to make it.” His eyes started to swell up with tears; his son might die not knowing how much his father actually loved him. The man took him to see James, the whole way there he couldn’t help but think if James was OK and if he was going to live to have just one more day to see what a good father he could really be. The hospital was only 10 minutes away but to him it seemed like a lifetime, he thought that it would never end.

“Daddy can we go to the park today?” James’ playful voice asked.

“Daddy has a very important meeting today maybe mommy can take you,” he responded.

You could hear the disappointment fill his voice as James answered “ Mommy always takes me, I wanted you to.” Those words just kept repeating in his mind it was like a broken record that he couldn’t seem to stop. As they arrived at the hospital he felt as if he was going to faint. He stopped several times before they got to the room just to breathe. As they neared the room the officer started to ask him some questions about his son. They knew nothing about the boy they found on the plane so they needed as much information as the father could give them. Once they were done he immediately left to go check on his son.

As he got closer and closer to the room his son was in, his heart felt like it was on fire his head was spinning and then everything stopped something wasn’t right. He looked at the boy lying on the bed, he had tubes and wires running everywhere but that wasn’t it. The boy lying there wasn’t his son. It felt as if a blanket of anxiety was lifted off of him he was excited that his son wasn’t in terrible condition but who was this boy laying here alone. He started to leave to talk to the doctors and a new feeling hit him, a feeling he had never felt this strongly before he was scared. If this wasn’t his son then where was he.

He walked out of the room to the nurses station, “That boy in there isn't my son,” he almost yelled at them.

“Are you sure?” One of the nurses answered in confusion.

“Of course I’m sure that is NOT my son.”

“They didn’t find any other children at the scene of the crash and no other parents at the airports,” the officer stated. Everyone had a look of fright on their faces, a look of confusion now they had a missing child and a child with missing parents.

“Daddy I’m scared, I don’t want to fly alone.” He pictured James saying the day he left to his grandma’s house. He assured James that he would be OK, and sent him on his way. Guilt started to over take his emotions he should have listened to James and not made him go, or maybe he should have just taken the time off work and gone with him at least then he wouldn’t be alone.

Thoughts of where James could be started to fill his head, terrible thoughts. Maybe he was wandering the streets looking for a familiar face, or maybe he was trapped under some of the debris from the plane waiting for someone to help him. Wherever he was, he had to find him.

At once him and the officer left to the scene of the crash to look for James. This time he was not having flashbacks of James’ childhood, instead he was having terrible images of where James could be and what could have happened to him running through his head, which to him was worse.

“Are you sure you want to help me look?” the officer questioned.

“Yes I’m sure he is my son its about time I started acting like his father.” The man demanded.

The two men started searching through all the debris they searched for hours and found many horrific things but never found James. The father was about to loose it he needed to know what happened to his son and he wanted to know now. The two men then started walking around town close to the scene to see if anyone had seen a little boy. They questioned every person and every store within a 5-mile radius but so many people had already left because of the crash. They had no luck. Just then the man remembered that he never called his wife to tell her about what had happened she was probably worried sick about both of them. He knew he had to call, but he didn’t want to be the one to tell her that there was a plane crash and they can’t find James. He had another moment of guilt, his wife didn’t want James to fly either she has hated planes ever since that Tuesday morning when the towers came crashing down. She begged him to let James take a train but he insisted that this would be much faster and more enjoyable for James. This whole experience could really be his fault. As his eyes filled with tears his mind pondered questions of his ability to be a father. Would a good father send his son alone on an airplane, would a good father never do anything with his son? Once again his mind was a broken record and he couldn’t get it to stop no matter how hard he tried.

He picked up his cell phone and dialed his house phone number.

“Hello,” his wife’s voice answered.

“Hello,” he almost whispered trying to keep his tears back.

“Honey, where have you been its getting late, I have tried calling you all day,” she said.

“Something terrible happened to James you might want to sit.”

“James? He’s with your mother,” she answered like he was stupid

“My mother? No he flew home today, remember it’s the 21st I was supposed to pick him up.”

“Did you not hear me last night when I told you?” she asked. You could hear the anger in her voice “You never listen to me, your always to busy with work. You can’t even listen when it has to do with your own son. What if no one was there to pick him up in a couple days because you forgot you would feel terrible wouldn’t you?” He couldn’t hold back his tears any longer its was true he didn’t care about anything but work he was a terrible father and husband and it took the idea of his son dying for him to realize it.

“No, I didn’t hear you I’m sorry I will be home for dinner in an hour.”