This "Ending" is just a SMALL portion of the FINAL chapter of book 1.
I've gotten an opinion on this, and was told it was very interesting.
-wink-
I wanted a lot of opinions, and points of view.
Mostly, I don't want any kind of grammar or English crits.
Basically everything that I'm writing here is just to show you guys
how it would end, everything else would be fixed when i actually wrote
the chapter.
Also i'd like you to answer these questions for me.(Doesn't needed to be formatted this way)
1: Was the ending too sudden, did that suddenness cause you to hate it?
2: Did it interest you? Did it make you want to read the next book?
3: Is there anything that i could change to make the ending causing the next book to be more desirable(only if you think the ending is good)
Thank you guys much in advance ^^.
REMEMBER! PLEASE DISREGUARD SPELLING,GRAMMER, AND ENGLISH, THIS IS STRICLY FOR OPINION ON THE WAY I AM ENDING MY STORY!!
Also in-case anyone cares, I'm going to leave out spoilers by using fake names, and avoid speech at all, but both of those WILL be in the final cut of the chapter.
The male stood in front of the female, his sword drawn.
He stared at the other male, and then charged him with his sword.
When the sword reached the male, he grabbed the blade, and threw it aside, along with the male. He looked straight at the female.
He rose his hand into the air and it began to choke her.
Her body floated toward the male. When her body reached him
a large ball of light appeared in his hand. He thrust the ball of light at the females stomach.
The light covered the whole area. Blood is spilt, and the cry of a girl is heard.
Then after that nothing would be said, but this poem would be.
POEM:
The moon, the clouds, the relationship they share.
The difference between being alone, and being free.
The settlment of the darkness, of the light.
I dream, I wish, I love, I kiss, I breath, I sing, I think you know what i mean.
The finale is here, the ending in sight.
The sun goes out, there is no more light.
I sit here, writing, wishing, and thinking, hoping,
that the light will one day come again.
March, 27th, Y 106.
END POEM:
Alright, so that'a how the book would end ^^
After the poem says the date (Also you won't understand the Y 106 yet, it's obviously the way they keep track of the time, in a long period, like we do years. Y does stand for Year , yes, and yes that would be revealed in the story before now.)
So please tell me who you like it.
If you'd like you can read Chapter 1 of this story here.
Link: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic30944.html
Crit it if you like.
?