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Midnight to Dawn-Prologue
Midnight to Dawn-Prologue

by Angel of Death in Romantic Fiction
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fanfiction

This thread was created on June 11, 2008
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Love and Murder in Mitadake Chapter 1
Love and Murder in Mitadake Chapter 3
Love and Murder in Mitadake Chapter 4

Love and Murder in Mitadake Chapter 2

Topic ID: 31478
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Abocreature   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:15 pm    Post subject: Love and Murder in Mitadake Chapter 2 Reply with quote

I hope you enjoy it!

-----------------

Chapter 2

I was walking down the hallway. Slowly, step by step, walking, just walking. The walls covered with blood, the floor with sweat. You could sense the immense battle that had just took place. You could feel the pain the two opponents suffered. You just knew that something bad had happened. So I was just walking, wondering why. I couldn’t figure it out. So I just kept walking. Then something happened, I got a sense of extreme sorrow. I fell to the floor and wept, I didn’t know why. I got up and kept going. I could see something, someone, familiar. Like I was very close to them. Suki. Oh my God, it was Suki. She was on the floor, bleeding. I ran over to her, she had a rip in her shoulder where a huge gash came forth. On her neck were bruises, obviously from someone choking her. I saw scratch marks on her face. But most of all, I saw the axe in her hand, covered in blood, and that look in her face. The look of anger, the look of sadness. I could see tears in her eyes, and as she turned to me, she hugged me. I squeezed her “What happened to you?” I was getting teary eyed.

“…The… murderer…” I could hear it in her voice she was dying.

“Suki, tell me what happened. P-please.” I continued to hug her.

“…killer...Ma-” She loosened her grip and fell to the floor.

“S-Suki… Suki… wake up!” I hugged her and felt the coldness, the sadness. I could tell, she was dead. There was no heartbeat. “Wake up dammit! Wake up! I can‘t go on without you!” I held her closer. “I-I love you”

I sat right up with a scream.

“Jin, are you OK?” It was a familiar voice, Suki.

“S-Suki?” I hugged her and kissed her cheek. “I’m so glad your alive.”

“J-Jin? What’s wrong?” She hugged me.

“I thought you died” I started to cry “I couldn’t believe it”

“It’s OK now, Jin. It was just a dream. I am still here” She kissed me on the lips. “Calm down, please”

I calmed down a bit and kissed her back “Thank you, Suki.” We smiled at each other.

“I see you two are bonding quite well.” It was Mina “Well, Shika and Sam aren’t back with James and Tami yet. I hope they are OK.”

I turned to her “Maybe we should go look for them.”

It was an almost sarcastic remark, although she didn’t seem to notice. “We should go then. I don’t want anything to happen to them.” So we got up.

As we were walking through the door, a hand was put on mine and Suki’s shoulder. “Mind if we come?”

We turned around, it was Tom. “You and Matt should stay here in case the others come back without us seeing them.” Mina said.

He shrugged “I suppose that’s fine.”. He put his mouth up to my ear and whispered, “If anything happens to Mina, I promise I will kill you with my bear hands.” He took his head back “Well, I hope you find them okay”

Mina turned around and smiled “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.” She turned back around “Well, let’s get going then.”

So we went off. As we went, Tom shut the door. I could hear murmuring coming from them. Me and Suki were holding hands again, like always. Twists and turns seemed even more innumerable. But that may have just been my tiredness. We turned a corner and saw two people. A boy, and a girl. The boy had pure, black hair. The girl had strange, almost unreal, pure, white hair. A strange couple they were. They were slow dancing right in the hallway. The boy was singing a melody. And the girl was just staring into his eyes and smiling. The two looked in love,

they were a perfect pair.

Mina stepped forward “Um, excuse me”

The two stopped what they were doing and turned to her. They had the strangest eyes, the boy had pure white eyes, and the girl had pure black eyes. “What do you want?” the boy had said, almost with hatred.

Mina hesitated “W-we were just wondering what you were doing here” I could tell she was afraid.

“Go away” the girl said

“But-”

“Go away now!” They both yelled in unison.

We quickly began walking through another passage to the nurses office. We could hear the boy continue to sing and dance with the girl. Suki whispered to my ear “What was up with them?”.

“I’m not quite sure. They are a strange couple” I whispered back

“Indeed they are”

Mina stopped and turned around “I think they may be the killers”.

“What makes you say that? Sure they are a little strange, but that doesn’t mean that they killed someone!” Suki said.

Mina stared straight into her eyes “Listen, I was the one talking to that boy. I could feel him messing with my mind. They aren’t normal”.

I turned to Mina “That still doesn’t give you a right to accuse them!”.

Mina stared into my eyes with anger “Listen here, I know for a fa-”

“Stop, listen. Hear that?” I said

She calmed down and listened “Hear what?”

“Exactly. They have stopped whatever they were doing.”

Suki looked at me with a scared expression “Maybe they heard us”

I looked at her with the same expression “Do you think they would really ki-”

There was a scream “What the hell?” Mina said “That sounded like… like…”

“James” I said “We need to go, now”

So we ran as fast as we could over there. As we walked into the nurses office, we saw James hunched over by Tami. “I-it will be a-alright T-Tami, y-you’ll get b-better s-soon. D-don’t you w-worry.”

She was white as a sheet and looked rather… cold, and lifeless. I could tell just by looking, she had died. I walked over to him slowly and put a hand on his shoulder. “James, just calm d-”

He elbowed me right in the stomach “You won‘t take her away from me!” he screamed “She is just… sleeping. Yes, sleeping. Heh, heh, that’s all… sleeping.”

“Jin are you OK?” Suki said, running over to me. She helped me up.

“Thank you Suki, but I am okay now” I smiled at her and kissed her. I then turned around and faced James “James… you gotta face it… she is de-”

He lunged at me, his dagger ready in hand, screaming his face off. “She is just sleeping! You won‘t take her away from me!” I put my arms in the air reflexively, he slashed them.

I took out my own knife “I’m sorry it has to come to this, James, I really didn’t want to kill you. I guess I have no cho-”

He slashed me again, this time on my side. “Stop talking! It will take more than words to get to her!” I swallowed my morals for a moment, at least, and stabbed him, right in the heart. As I let go of the dagger, he stood there, blood in his mouth and spreading through his shirt, he chocked out his last words “I-I thought you were… m-my friend…” He fell to the floor with a loud thud.

I looked at my blood covered hands “Wha-what have I d-done? How could I just kill him in cold blood? I guess I really am a murderer…”

Suki ran over and hugged me tight “Your not a murderer, Jin. He went insane, you had to kill him. For you, for me, for Mina, and for everyone else in this God forsaken school. In a way, you’re a hero.”

I turned around and hugged her back with tears running down my face “Thank you so much, Suki. I am so glad your alive and unharmed. I don’t know what I would do without you.” We hugged for a while, both of us with tears in our eyes. After a few minutes, I looked up and said “Are you OK, Min-”

She was gone. Completely gone. “Is something wrong, Jin?” It was Suki, she was looking at me, still with tears in her eyes.

“It’s Mina, she’s… gone” I said

“G-gone?” She turned around “Mina? You there?”

No answer. Something was wrong. I had a bad feeling. All of a sudden I heard the boy

singing and dancing again with the girl in the distance. “It’s those two weirdos we met before” Suki said.

I just knew something was wrong. I could feel it…

I heard a scream in the distance. Suki turned to look at me and said “That sounded like-”

“Mina” I interrupted. “Let’s go”. So we went walking off together, holding hands a bit more tightly. As we were walking toward the source, we started hearing an evil sort of laugh. “Mina?” I called out. The laughing got louder. We started to walk towards the laughter. Step by step we walked, my heart was thumping, the laugh was getting louder and louder. We were close. As we turned the corner, everything seemed to slow down.

She was right there, in mid-air as she lunged toward us. It was as if time was standing still. I looked into her eyes and it wasn’t Mina that I saw, it was someone, something, else. They were a cloudy grey color. It was like I was looking into a storm of despair and hatred. I couldn’t really describe the sort of terror that came over me.

I reached for my knife, but it was too late. She was already right in front of me. She began to tackle me to the ground, knocking Suki over as well. She pinned me to the ground “Hello, Jin. Having a nice… time?!”

I struggled and struggled but could not break free “Mina! Wake up!” I shouted at her.

She got a crooked smile on her face “Oh, don’t be that way!” she kicked my shin, and I couldn’t do a thing about it.

All of a sudden she fell on me, unconscious. Her body rolled off to the side, and I saw Suki there, with a bat. “Thanks, Suki” I said with a sigh. I got up “That was quite a hit you gave her!”.

She smiled “Thanks, I guess I was stronger than I thought.”

We hugged for a bit “I’m so glad your okay, I have no idea what’s going on with these people”

There was no answer “Suki?” I asked

Still silence, she started to squeeze harder. “Suki, please. Your squeezing me”

She ignored me and kept on squeezing. It was getting hard to breath. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. All of a sudden, there was a lot of pain in the back of my head. And everything went dark.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 1:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha I <3 this. I'm thinking of psychopath vampire/mist creatures/i really don't know. This is really intense and yea it keeps summer pretty much less boring for me. Keep writing Smile

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 2:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you, that really helps a lot ^^.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 1:41 am    Post subject: Re: Love and Murder in Mitadake Chapter 2 Reply with quote

What a great chapter! I enjoyed it alot! Very Happy I couldn't find any problems (I never do) you also cut down on the interruptions but there was something that was a little unrealistic...

Abocreature wrote:
I hope you enjoy it!
-----------------
He slashed me again, this time on my side. “Stop talking! It will take more than words to get to her!” I swallowed my morals for a moment, at least, and stabbed him, right in the heart. As I let go of the dagger, he stood there, blood in his mouth and spreading through his shirt, he chocked out his last words “I-I thought you were… m-my friend…” He fell to the floor with a loud thud.


This part didn't seem real because he just killed James like it was nothing, but maybe it was because he was thinking and he was defending himself, I don't know. I just didn't think that this was realistic, it was unexpected for his to stab him in the heart.

But besides that two thumbs up and keep up the good (insane) Twisted Evil work!
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This thread was created on June 11, 2008

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