Woohoo! Chapter 2 is up!!! Critique please!
Chapter 2
Safe
I cautiously walked up to my front door, peeking in the window to make sure my father was asleep. The house was dark and quiet. I put my hand on the brass doorknob and twisted it silently. I prayed that the door would not squeak as I pushed it open.
I breathed a sigh of relief as the door opened without a screech. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room, and closed the door. When I turned around, I could see no one in any of the chairs.
As I walked up the stairs, I thought of my father replacing our old creaky ones, with brand new steps. I was glad at the moment for that. My footsteps were as quiet as a mouse when I passed by my father’s bedroom. My heart was racing with fear that he might be awake. But all I heard was light snoring behind the closed door.
I held my breath, as I stepped over to my room across from his, and slipped through the door. When I had stepped in, I quickly shut and locked it. I put my back against the frame and took a deep breath. I made it.
“Good morning, Isabella.” My father grumbled as he stepped into the kitchen. “G-good morning.” I replied stuttering over my words. I was afraid he knew about last night. But all he did was plop down in a chair and pull out his newspaper.
I had a very restless night. I kept awakening to noises that would seem silly, but they scared me half to death. Every time an owl would hoot, or trees would rustle outside my bedroom window, I jumped in bed. My dreams were tormented with my father catching me walking in at night, and would start to beat me like my mother was beaten.
I fixed my father a plate of eggs, bacon, and flap-jacks and sat down at the table with my own plate. My father began eating his food, but I barely touched mine. I was peeking at him, trying to decipher from his mood, if he was aware of last night.
“Eat, now. You’re as skinny as hell and I don’t want you wasting any food.” My father glared at me as I pushed an egg around. I nodded my head and took a bite. He got up out of his chair and grabbed his coat. “Stay in this house, or you will be sorry. If anyone tells me they’ve seen you, you’re going to get it.” My father hissed at me. I gulped and shook my head.
After he left, I began to calm down. He didn’t know about last night. I grabbed his plate, along with mine, and set it in the sink to soak. I had a lot of cleaning to do today, too much for one person to handle.
I set off to sweep the house. I had to get this clean by tonight or I would be hit. I ran through my head all the times I had not finished something and was beaten because of it. I was only a child back then and wasn’t strong enough to handle such big jobs. No child should be put through that.
My father wouldn’t let me go to college. I had learned to read and write from my mother and she had also taught me some math and science. She wanted me to go to a college badly, but it was unheard of for a woman to go. I so wanted to change that. I wanted to learn more. I wanted men to see that women are just as smart as them. I wanted them to treat us right and us all be equal, like it says in the Declaration of Independence. That’s what the father of our country meant in the line “All men are created equal.” Not just men, but women and African Americans. We should all be equal and it’s not fair that we are being treated like crap.
At tonight’s feminist meeting, a woman by the name of Susan B. Anthony was going to speak with us tonight. We were trying to for a group called The Daughter’s of Temperance. We were going to stand up for women and African Americans all over the United States of America.
A few hours later, I had finished cleaning the whole house. It was just in time too, because my father walked in not too long after. I was sitting in a chair fixing a blouse of mine to wear to the meeting. Of course he wouldn’t know that and would think I was just mending it on my spare time. He grumbled an hello and walked into the kitchen.
I was startled by a cry of rage. I jumped up quickly at dropped my sewing on the ground. Oh God, what had I forgotten?
My father barged into the room and stood in front of me. He was breathing hard and I could smell liquor on his breath. “You bitch! The floor was not mopped! How dare you forget that?!” He slapped me across the face. It stung and I grabbed my face. I know I hadn’t forgotten to mop the floor because I could see the water bucket in the corner, along with the mop.
When my father drinks, he goes and messes up the whole house and beats the tar out of me, screaming that I didn’t clean this or didn’t clean that. He makes a lot of stuff up because of the loss of brain cells after he drinks.
I shrunk away from him and waited for the next blow. I couldn’t wait till he passed out and I could go to the meeting. I would have a lot to talk about.
There should be a break between the paragraph containing "I made it" and the paragraph "Good morning, Isabella." When you have big spaces--drop offs, one might call it-- between time frames and such, you need a break.
