Topic ID: 31370
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jhudora
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 Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:16 pm Post subject: New Love, Lyrical Love |
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I'm not really sure what this is,
I know I'm pass Lil Bow Wow and his "Puppy Love"
just surpassed Chris Brown's "Young Love"
and creeping a little closer to Ne-Yo's "Sexy Love".
I use to be something like Lloyd reciting the "Player's Prayer",
but now I'm like Gym Class Heros' and enjoying the feeling of being in "Cupid's Chokehold".
I don't know what is going on with me.
This ain't my usual style.
You got me all "Caught Up" like Usher be.
Now I'm acting like Ray J asking, "Sexy Can I"...be "Stingy" like Ginuwine 'cause baby you're all I need.
I mean what is going on?
You got me clutching to you like Jagged Edge's "Good Luck Charm" and now I'm acting "Crazy" like Gnarles Barkley.
You are a true blessing from God, but unlike Beyonce, you're a "Gift from a Sagitiarus"
This thing is something new to me, so I'm asking you like MusiqSoulChild, please "Teach Me".
Take me to a new level of love, 'cause bump what Piles said I want you to be more than my "Bust It Baby"
Love me deep. Love me real deep. Do more than Mariah Carey, Touch my mind, body, and soul.
Like I said, I'm not sure what this is.
The songs I just used don't even help the least bit.
So I guess I'll be like Ne-Yo, pick up where the last one ended and just "Say It"
This is that, New Love. That Lyrical Love. And I love it. |
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Suzanne
verbivore
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 3:49 am Post subject: |
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| Like I said, I'm not sure what this is. |
I'm not sure what this is, either.
Did you mean to post this in the lyrics section? Is it a song? Lyrical poetry and lyrics are different things. If this is a poem, though, I'm still rather clueless.
It's... cute, I guess. I wouldn't exactly want someone to sing this to me. I might throw something at them and then run. The way you use song titles and artists could be called creative, but it's just strange and doesn't work. If you're going to write a song/poem to the person you care for, why not use your own words? Or if you want to incorporate song titles into it, try to be less obvious about it. Again, use more of your own thoughts than other peoples titles.
Other than that, I really am not sure what to say. But, if you have any questions about what I said, feel free to message me. |
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Eimear
It ain't me, babe
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 8:09 am Post subject: |
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Hmm, indeed. I couldn't really get into this. To be honest the not so subtle song references made me first go 'huh?' and then cringe. Try and use your own words to represent what you're feeling, and it will come off more smoothly every time, guaranteed.
And another thing to consider- try and work out your overall message and what you'd like to say before writing. In other words plan. When I started writing I hated planning with a passion, it just never felt right- but now I know that my work won't have any structure or clear voice if I don't. It's a vital component of all literature, not just poetry. And read- my favourites are Plath and Frost, but there's literally a whole world of poetry out there to choose from.
And good luck!
Eimear |
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aestar101
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 2:01 pm Post subject: |
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| I think I'll be the only on in this forum who gets this. She is using titles of popular songs to show how her love life is like. This is clever. A nice idea too. I really liked this poem. The fact that you used a different way of writing poetry is amazing. I think if you follow rules of creating things you'll be the same as everyone else. And your poem are not like everyone else, this is more of the reason I like it. Keep up the good work. A note for people who don't get this poem, try listening to the songs she mentioned and that might help. |
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