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Mass Word War (2)!
Mass Word War (2)!

by Kitty15 in NaNoWriMo
Young Writers Society Forum Index » Fantasy Fiction

This thread was created on May 25, 2008
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The blue crystal (A story of a princess) (old Version)
Ellima 1,2 or three... Take your pick...
Ellima and the Cerulean Crystal #Chapter One (Part one)
Ellima and the Cerulean Crystal # Chapter Two Part One
Ellima and the Cerulean Crystal # Chapter Two Part Two

Ellima and the Cerulean Crystal #Chapter One, Part two

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Swottielottie   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2008 5:29 pm    Post subject: Ellima and the Cerulean Crystal #Chapter One, Part two Reply with quote

Second part of the first chapter... enjoy!)

Ellima quickly brushed her long brown hair and fixed her small tiara on with a clip. It dug into her head. Why did women wear these stupid things? She took it off again and threw the tiara down. Why should she bother dressing up for the coronation? Leaving her jewellery behind, she closed the wardrobe door and headed down to the dining hall.

The servant, Maria stood outside the hall doors, waiting to usher Ellima in.

“Good Morning, your highness.”

“Morning. Maria.” Ellima nodded back and was about enter the dining hall when suddenly she had a spark of inspiration.

“Wait, Maria!”

The servant turned around, shocked.

“Yes, Your Highness, what is it?”

“I was wondering, where are Princess Ivy’s crown and staff being kept? She asked me to check on them, to make sure the gems matched her dress.”

“They are in the presenting hall, but I could check for you, your majesty, it would be no trouble.”

“NO! I mean, no, she wanted me personally to look at them. Ivy’s very embarrassed that she hasn’t seen them yet so if I go then-”

“I wouldn’t tell anyone, your highness, she has no reason to be embarrassed.”

“I need to see them personally. Are you refusing to show me?”

Maria shook her head.

“NO. Of course, your majesty!”

“Thank you!”

Ellima followed the servant, feeling guilty at being so rude.

“They are just through here, Princess.”

Maria showed her into the presenting room, waiting by the door.

“Oh, can you fetch me some paper and scissors, please, Ivy wants me to draw them.”

“Of course.”

“Thanks.”

Ellima watched her leave and then darted over the stage where the crown was shrouded with a cloth. Now where to hide it? Ellima scanned the room but there was no place suitable to hide the crown. Well, nowhere that it couldn’t be found easily. Suddenly, she had a brain wave. The piano! Who would think to look inside a piano? The perfect plan, she thought smiling.

Maria knocked curtly on the door.

“Your majesty? Here are your things.”

Ellima leapt off the stage and opened the door slightly.

“Thanks. I’m sorry I was so… snappy with you earlier.”

“Do not let it concern you, your majesty. I am just a common servant, it makes no difference how you order me.” she stifled a cry.

“Oh… Maria. Is everything alright?”

“Yes, yes. I’m being foolish.”

“Maria…. You can tell me anything. I may be a princess but… that’s just a title.”

Maria looked uncertain but continued anyway.

“I miss my homeland. And my family….”

Ellima smiled. “Then you must leave. Go home.”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s right. You may leave.”

“But my job. I need the money!”

“You are on emotional leave. As of…. Now!”

“But you do not have the authority!”

“Never you mind that. I’ll square it with my parents later.”

“Oh! Thank you so much. My husband will be pleased.”

“Have fun Maria!”

The servant dashed off with a beaming smile.

With Maria dealt with, Ellima got back to work. She placed the crown into the top of the piano and sharply closed the lid. Then, with a crafty grin, she took the scissors and cut through the paper.

***

A few minutes later, with the plan complete she raced back down to the dining hall. Her heart racing, she opened the oak doors. The scent of maple syrup drifted pleasantly into her nose. ‘Breakfast!’ she thought hungrily. Her father, Elroy was sat at the far end of the dining table trying desperately to smooth down his scraggly, yellow beard, next to her sister who was grinning smugly. Ivy sat silently, her hands pressed together and a look of pure happiness on her face. Her long, wavy hair hung neatly on either side of her head, catching the sunshine. She fluttered her eyelashes, showing off her perfect blue eyes and smooth, flawless skin. She looked radiant. An angel. Ellima looked down at her own hair and sighed. It was messy and dull, as usual. Even her fathers hair was neat and shining, apart from his beard.

“Ellima, my darling, come sit down.” he said, pointing to a golden chair.

Ellima glanced across the gilded table; Ivy frowned at her and stretched her own hands in front of her. The right hand gleamed.

“What’s that on your hand?” Ellima exclaimed.

“Oh, this?” She said with a mischievous smile. “Daddy gave it to me, to celebrate my crowning! Here, take a look!” Ivy proudly stood up, waving the diamond ring in Ellima’s annoyed face.

“Don’t you just adore it?”

“It’s nice.” Ellima yawned, “If you like that kind of thing.”

“Mmm, It is rather expensive though, isn’t it Daddy; you said it cost more than my unicorn and my personal entourage put together?”

Ivy glared at her father.

“Didn't you Daddy?”

Elroy opened his mouth as if to say something, but quickly shut it again.

“Ivy, my dear, shouldn't you be getting ready for the crowning?”

“Oh! I suppose Daddy.” Ivy withdrew her hand and sauntered away from the table, but stopped at the door.

“Do you know what she did, father? She had this wild bird in her room and she was torturing it! I tried to stop her but she wouldn‘t let me in.”

“You liar!“ shouted Ellima.

“What, indeed, daughter. I do not permit animal cruelty in this palace!”

“I wasn’t hurting it; this raven came and attacked him.”

“Raven? The same creature that was banished from our land, almost 13 years ago? Impossible!” asked Elroy, raising his eyebrows.

“I didn’t know it was banished, or whatever.”

“It seems you did not. There are no Ravens in my land. I do not permit false truths in my home either.”

“I’m not lying! Why would I do such a thing?”

“I do not know. You have been acting very strangely of recent.”

Ivy grinned smugly.

“I wasn’t trying to hurt it!”

“Perhaps not. I’m sure it was an accident.”

“I didn’t do anything to him!”

“Let us talk no more about it. Eat your breakfast. For once, I want this family to get along.”

Ellima sighed and did as she was told.

“Where is Mother now?”

Elroy finished off his mouthful of pork and put his fork down.

“I think she’s putting the finishing touches on your sister’s ball tonight.”

“Oh…” said Ellima. She picked up her silver fork and began to devour her thick pancakes.

“Will you be continuing with your lessons, darling?” asked King Elroy.

“You must be joking!”

Ellima carried on with her pancakes.

“But you must continue. Ivy has passed all six of her exams with exceedingly high marks. You must persist with your education!”

“You’re all acting as if I can’t do anything. Well, what about my music exam? I got an A+ for my piano performance! My teacher said I was very refined player.”

“Music is for brainless people who have no other talent. I’d hardly call it a refined skill. Pah!”

“You’re the brainless person! Not me.”

“Do not talk in that manner; you are a Princess, not a common peasant! Your mother and I will be having words with you after the crowning! Go and change into your proper gown.”

Ivy patted Ellima on the back and then whispered:

“You don’t belong here, peasant.”

“Shut up!”

Ellima threw down her fork and stomped out of the room.

She ran up the stairs to her room and upturned a shelf where she found her hideous green dress complete with matching green shoes and a lurid pair of stripy stockings. When her eyes found the disgusting costume, she screwed it up into a ball and chucked it out her window. There was no way she was wearing that. She happily watched the dress fall through the air, like a green bird.

To her horror, Ellima remembered that her Mother’s drawing room window was directly underneath her room!

“Ellima! Ellima! Come down here this instance!” her mother’s voice floated up to her room.

Sighing, Ellima made her way down the Palace and into the courtyard. Her mother stood there, her arms crossed.

“What exactly was your intention when you threw your good dress out of the window? That dress cost us a thousand gold pieces! What on earth are you playing at?”

Ellima picked up the sodden dress and threw it back into the muck.

“For all I care, you could make me wear a sack to that little poison Ivy’s crowning.”

Leilanai shook her head.

“One day darling, you’ll look back on these days and laugh at how naive you were. And don't talk about your sister like that. Now go upstairs and find another dress. The crowning starts in twenty minutes.”

Leilanai gathered up the green costume and walked away, her purple satin dress dragging on the floor.

Begrudgingly, Ellima made her way through the Palace until she reached the west wing where her room was situated. As she walked to her wardrobe, she caught sight of herself in her mirror and stopped. The girl in the mirror didn’t look like princess. More like a glorified servant.

“Am I really that bad? Do I deserve to be a princess?"

She stared a little longer and began to think what she would look like in ten years.

An image of herself waving at crowds and fluttering her eyelashes at princes came to mind. She couldn't bear it if she was to become a brainless wife; Ellima wanted more in her life. Ellima had dreamed of travelling the lands and discovering lost islands. Of course, Ivy had laughed when Ellima had announced this in career class. Ivy made this false giggling sound and lisped that she wanted to be a ‘damsel in distress’. All the adults had cooed over her, saying “Aaaaw, bless her” and “Isn't she sweet?”.

Ellima shuddered at the memory. There weren't many memories that didn't make her shiver with disgust.

Trying to fog out all her past thoughts, Ellima opened her wardrobe, peered into the darkest corner of her gigantic wardrobe, and yanked out a plain blue pair of dungarees, hoping to infuriate her parents.

The garment still smelled of blueberries from last summer. The royal gardens were now icy and bare and nothing grew on the vines or stems. The once blooming gardens had turned into a cemetery, except for her little haven. Ellima slid into the dungarees then ran a comb through her dark brown hair and slipped on a pair of canvas shoes.

She raced down to the presenting hall where her parents were waiting proudly on stage. Her mother wore a stunning pink dress that hung down to her ankles and her blond hair shone with importance Elroy wore a fine cloak of purple satin and polished leather boots. The moment Leilanai’s eyes met her other daughter her face darkened and in turn, Elroy's eyes dropped to the floor as if Ellima was some unsightly wart on the bottom of his foot. A servant approached the stage, pointing to his watch. The king and queen nodded and led Ivy off the stage brightly. The congregation remained motionless. Ivy was fluttering her eyelashes at a crowd of princes seated in the audience as she sauntered off the stage with her parents. They were all gazing at her in awe, a vacant expression stuck on each of their faces as she went by them. Ellima frowned and took a seat at the back of the hall. The princes didn’t even acknowledge her. Perhaps she should be a servant. At least then she would be doing something useful. Suddenly, there was a fanfare. The oak door burst open as the music continued. Five dancers in flowing pink dresses danced their way up the aisle. They swayed gently until their leaps turned into waltzes as they were joined by male dancers. Next, a procession of circus performers cart wheeled through the hall, juggling and dancing. This lasted for a few minutes until the music changed back into a quiet piano solo. Ellima sighed and held back the tears. They did this on purpose. Her parents knew she could play this song. Why didn’t they ask her to play it for Ivy? Maybe if they had included her she might not have had to resort to pranks.

The crowd erupted into an applause as Ivy entered the hall. She was wearing very long elaborate white dress, embroidered with silver sequins and diamonds. Her blonde hair was weaved into an elegant bun with long strands of hair on either side. She looked mature and so pretty. Ellima sighed again and picked at the unravelling threads of her dungarees. She was without doubt the worst dressed person there. Even the servants were in black tie, wearing their best Sunday clothes. She supposed the people next to her thought she was a beggar off the street, not the first daughter of the most powerful royal family in the world. Ivy was now seated on the throne waving proudly at the people watching. Ellima shuffled in her seat as the woman next to her spoke quickly into her chantophone.

“And the princess has now taken her seat on the throne. She’s wearing a fabulous Soldolce dress in a dazzling shade of cream. Oh and yes! There’s the King and Queen in a matching shade of blue. I’m afraid there’s no sign of the oldest daughter but I’m sure she will join us later.”

Ellima stared at the woman. Was she blind? She wanted to wave her hand in front of the woman’s face and say “HELLO?” but she though better of it.

The noise died down as a stout man took his place at the podium.

“Welcome, welcome! Good day to all of you and may I say what an honour it is to be here on such a remarkable day!” he said, struggling to raise his squeaky voice.

Ivy shot a grin at the Royal Coronator.

“Now let us start this long-awaited crowning!”

The crowd clapped as Ivy stood up and blew kisses. Ellima had to fight the urge to scream. Her fist clenched at each of her sister's words. It was torture. Still, Ivy would get her comeuppance soon.

The ceremony dragged on, filled with endless vows and unnecessary speeches. The speaker droned on and on about royal duties and tradition. Finally, it was the moment Ellima was waiting for.

Ivy’s eyes glittered with glee as the Cornator carefully picked up the shrouded crown. She bowed her head, smiling with importance. He removed the cloth and the crowd gasped. It was a paper crown.

Ivy’s hand shook as she gently took hold of the fake crown. When she saw it was nothing but paper hat, she sank to the floor in a fainting fit.

The entire hall erupted! Doctors ran in to attend to the fainted princess and most of the audience had begun to scream and talk loudly.

And while all this happened, Ellima sat in her chair and simply laughed.


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Last edited by Swottielottie on Sun Aug 03, 2008 4:36 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Pawprint   View This User's Portfolio
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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2008 5:44 pm    Post subject: Re: Ellima and the Cerulean Crystal #Chapter One, Part two Reply with quote

I loved it!

This was perfectly written. The way you write your characters is very good. My favorite part was when the cloth was removed to reveal a paper crown!

This made me laugh.

I cannot wait to read the next chapter!

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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2008 5:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you Paw Print, your reply meant so much to me. It is certainly NOT perfectly written but thank you for saying it. I've edited this a lot more but that copy is on my laptop so I can't really post it yet. Chapter Two is finished and I'm on Chapter three, so shoudl be up soon.

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PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2008 10:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great job on this! It was much, much better than the first half! (:

I don't really have anything to say, except I was a little confused when you said this:

Quote:
She raced down to the presenting hall where Ivy was waiting proudly on stage. She wore a stunning pink dress that hung down to her ankles, every part of her had been scrubbed until it gleamed, and her blond hair shone with cleanliness. She gave off an aura that made the guests gaze in wonder. Leilanai and Elroy stood on either side of their daughter, smiling gently at their “little angel”.


And then you said this:

The crowd erupted into an applause as Ivy entered the hall. She was wearing very long elaborate white dress, embroidered with silver sequins and diamonds. Her blonde hair was weaved into an elegant bun with long strands of hair on either side.


Why does she have two different dresses and hairstyles?

Other than that, great job! Very Happy

Hope to read more,
-Onceuponatim3xo

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PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2008 7:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whoops! Embarassed I wrote this twice and forgot about the bit before. Sorry, and thanks!

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 6:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A really great story,much more better than the first part.

And you made that really annoying Ivy get embarrased infront of all those people,that was just what she needed.A really good punishment to rub off her airs and graces.

Quote:
“What exactly was your intention when you threw your good dress out of the window? That dress cost us a thousand gold pieces! What on earth are you playing at?”

You could have written here what you wrote in The blue crystal story.That was really funny.

Quote:
Her mother wore a stunning pink dress that hung down to her ankles and her blond hair shone with importance


Quote:
She was wearing very long elaborate white dress, embroidered with silver sequins and diamonds. Her blonde hair was weaved into an elegant bun with long strands of hair on either side.

You know haven't made any mistake,first had decribed her mother and then decribed Ivy.

So,it was really a very good story. Very Happy
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 6:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you! I'm sorry I haven't reviewed your story yet Sad I'll do it tonight! I've been so bus with the olympics etc Very Happy

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