| Young Writers Society - Community Forums For Young Writers |
|
This thread was created on May 27, 2005
  |
|
You the Curse
Topic ID: 3060
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Elizabeth
1 Piece To The Original YWS Couple
Epic Novelist
Gender: 
Age: 17
Joined: 07 Dec 2004
Posts: 3023
Reviews: 1160
Country: If I told you I would have to kill you
300 Points
|
 Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 4:03 am Post subject: You the Curse |
 |
|
The Italian dining and teddy bears
They were all a lie: your spell on me
Or were they the truth that never spoke
Mystery boy, I hate it when you do this to me
It makes me ill to know you’re too shy,
Too embarrassed to talk to me in ordinary public,
To your family, even on the Internet
To laugh like two old friends poking along the park
And to yarn until darkness sets in
When you’re sleeping and I’m still up
Just staring at you as you breathe
I want to reach over to you
Without having my hand go through your heart
Then out again and again
I can’t get enough of you:
You’re my drug and the reason I want morphine
I want the answer: the cure
Why did you cruse me with yourself? |
_________________
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/shii.php
Ralphie: Ahh! It's half wolf, half refrigerator!
“Eventually shooting stars will burn out.”
Help the Revolution: http://noporntube.freeforums.org/portal.php |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
Elder Bobo
Epic Novelist
Gender: 
Age: 21
Joined: 29 Dec 2004
Posts: 2939
Reviews: 479
Country: USA
300 Points
|
| Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 4:06 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Interesting. Now I remember why I don't read these poems any more. I'm too happy-go-lucky for them. But great poeticism anyway! |
_________________
My Cartoon! |
|
| Back to top |
|
Elizabeth
1 Piece To The Original YWS Couple
Epic Novelist
Gender:
Age: 17
Joined: 07 Dec 2004
Posts: 3023
Reviews: 1160
Country: If I told you I would have to kill you
300 Points
|
| Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 4:07 am Post subject: |
|
|
| can you please explain to me why you're too happy go lucky for a writing style without rules (a sweedish lady taught me that) if you ever return to the poetry section... again... |
_________________
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/shii.php
Ralphie: Ahh! It's half wolf, half refrigerator!
“Eventually shooting stars will burn out.”
Help the Revolution: http://noporntube.freeforums.org/portal.php |
|
| Back to top |
|
Liz
Novelist
Gender:
Age: 18
Joined: 22 Nov 2004
Posts: 493
Reviews: 321
Country: The land down under
300 Points
|
| Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 9:03 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Great. Good theme, easily to relate to, and well-written. Nice work. |
_________________
purple sneakers |
|
| Back to top |
|
jossymaiye
Junior Writer
Gender:
Age: 19
Joined: 14 Feb 2005
Posts: 21
Reviews: 11
Country: nigeria
300 Points
|
| Posted: Mon May 30, 2005 10:00 am Post subject: |
|
|
| hey..............nice work in there,keep it up! |
_________________
i know you are dry
but that does`nt mean you should cry
get up and fly
fly reallly high
up to the deep blue sky |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You can attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum
|
|
| This thread was created on May 27, 2005 |
Graphics By Bobo | YWS Sword & Shield Logo by Bobo
Bartemius says, Do just once what others say you can't do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again. - James R. Cook
|
