SIX

“So there I was, sitting on the floor trying to hid the huge cottage cheese stain on the carpet.”

Kate put her slender hand over her mouth. “No way. Did she find out?”

“Of course she did. My mum gets suspicious even if you look at her the wrong way. She found it a bit odd to see me sitting on the carpet”.

“I don’t blame her! Did you get the stain out?”

“Mum did, just. Though I’m not sure she’s ever trusted me with food in my room ever since”.

“That’s such a hilarious story,” Kate said, standing up. “I’m just going to go to the toilet."

Daniel was left on his own at the bar. He let out a huge sigh of relief and exhilaration. He couldn’t believe it was going so well. He’d taken a chance in telling the cottage cheese story, but the night was working out more successfully than he could have imagined. It just proved that Jess wasn’t always right.

Tonight was just the first step in Daniel’s master plan. If he wanted to take Kate to the May Ball, he would have to follow his carefully calculated strategy to win her over. Tonight involved breaking the ice, smoothing over the incident in the anatomy lesson and making sure that he had anything more than a snowball’s chance in hell of making an impression on Kate. The way he saw it, it was all going well. She had listened to his stories, seemed interested, and even laughed at all the right moments. She wasn’t very forthcoming about her own life, but that was to be expected. It was only a first date.

Christ, when he put it like that, it scared him. When he was sure that it was just a quiet drink, he wasn’t at all nervous. But when he thought Kate might be seeing this as a first date, it all seemed a lot worse, a lot more intimidating.

Kate sat back down on the stool and smiled at him. Daniel suddenly had no idea what to say.

Kate looked at him strangely. Her deep green eyes narrowed as she leaned her thin face closer to his.

“Are you alright? You look a bit uncomfortable.”

Daniel cursed his twitching foot and stood up. He put his jacket on.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ve got to go”, Daniel explained. “Thanks for a nice evening”.

“Daniel? What’s wrong?”

Daniel turned away and walked out of the pub, heading for the flat. Kate didn’t follow him.

Why did he even get himself into this? What made him think that he even had a chance with Kate? What would she, with her perfectly formed face, flowing gold hair and those deep, intelligent eyes, see in Daniel? He was tall, gangly and with a thick mess of dark hair on his head. What could she possibly find attractive about him?

So he got out while he still could. He knew that if he let any sort of relationship develop between him and Kate, it would end in misery, heartache, and, worst of all, failure, and that was something he couldn’t handle. It would all fail, and Jess would laugh at him, and Elliot would laugh at him. God, everyone would laugh at him. Daniel Moore trying his luck with Kate Radcliffe. It would be all people would talk about for months, and Daniel didn’t want to put himself through that.

On the other hand, he couldn’t go home. Jess would just give him some high and mighty speech about how he shouldn’t give up.

He walked into the first coffee shop he came to and ordered a strong cappuccino. Being as late as it was, Daniel was one of only three customers inside. One was an old, frail woman with straggly hair and dirty fingernails. She looked homeless. The other was a drunk man, probably drinking coffee to disguise the smell of alcohol on his breath so his wife wouldn’t suspect anything. Daniel pitied them. But he knew if he kept living life like he did at the moment, with his half-hearted attempts at happiness, he would end up like them. He would end up with a house, a car and a wife that he could live with, but he would never quite be happy. He would never quite be happy because he would have a lifetime of missed opportunities to look back on, a lifetime of things that could have been.

What a night he was having. Missing out on a drink with the girl of his dreams, surrounded by the waifs and strays of the city. That wasn’t where Daniel belonged. He finished his coffee and headed home.

“How did it go?”

Daniel hung up his jacket and fell down onto the sofa next to Jess. He tried ignoring the question, but she was still looking at him, expecting an answer.

“I’m such an idiot”, he explained. “A complete idiot”.

Jess sighed, ran her fingers through her thick, dark hair and rubbed her tired-looking eyes. Daniel knew she was preparing herself for the long haul. She stayed silent, but Daniel recognised it as a signal to carry on his story.

“The minute I thought I was in over my head, I had to get out of there. I just can’t handle the pressure, Jess. I needed to get out on my terms.”

“And miss out on Kate?”

“I know what I’ve missed out on. I’m never going to find a girl like her again. I’m never going to find anyone so warm, so friendly, so intelligent. But I’d rather deprive myself of happiness than have somebody else do it for me.”

“How do you know somebody else will do it for you? You might be happy with Kate for the rest of your life.”

“Come off it Jess. This is me we’re talking about. Happiness just doesn’t happen for me.”

“Because you don’t let it. You jump because you think you’ll get pushed, and you just end up hitting the ground so hard it takes you months to get back up again.”

“But at least I hit the ground how I want to. I won’t let someone make a fool of me”.

“I know you won’t. You like to be the best at everything you do, and if you give up this early then it’s as if you never tried. I know how you think.”

“And what’s so wrong with that?”

“People would respect you so much more for trying and failing than for not trying at all. I certainly would.”

Daniel said nothing. Christ, his sister had a habit of being right all the time, and tonight was no exception. He just wished that, on this occasion, she could be wrong. He wished that he could ignore everything she had just said, and live his life without ever thinking about Kate. But yet again, Jess was right, and Daniel knew she was. He would have to go after Kate again sometime, because he would never quite be happy if he didn’t.