scasha
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Age: 16
Joined: 03 May 2008
Posts: 58
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Country: one that contains a chlorine like substance (a pool)
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 Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 1:10 pm Post subject: Chapter 1, The Duty Revised |
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Okay so I decided that this is going to turn into a longer story. Here is a revision of the first chapter. Tell me what you think!
Chapter One
“Melody”.
I froze, my heartbeat quickening as I glanced from side to side. I wasn’t supposed to be here. How did they know my name? Ignoring the call, I slipped into a dark alleyway, glancing over my shoulder back at the street. I reached down to put my hand on the familiar hilt of my knife. My fingers grasped at air. I felt my stomach drop. This was the worst night to leave that weapon behind.
A piercing cackle sounded through the air making the hairs on my arms prickle. “You can’t hide from us dearie,” it continued. “All we want is to talk to you”.
I looked down at the medallion in my hand. Its red light burned with an internal fire. It was warm in my hand, almost reassuring me. I felt it, the power of it, nearly reel me into its ruby depths. My head snapped back up as I remembered that I was supposed to be fleeing for my life, not staring at the jewel.
“You’ll be my undoing,” I whispered to it, tucking it under my tunic.
I heard the whisper of a silken cloth and whirled around, but saw nothing except the dark night stretched in front of me. It was never good to just wait for their approach. My mom had always warned me when I was little about them, the specters. They were monsters that no one knew existed, except us. The order. And this was duty of the order, we were the protectors.
I quickened my pace, wishing that I had taken the easier novice assignment. I wanted to become one of the higher members so bad I had accepted this case without a thought. Now I was beginning to regret my decision. I could hear them coming, and I began running blindly down the side-streets of Brita. The roads of our village were always barren at night. No one was allowed out past dusk. It’s when they would come out to feast on human’s that weren’t supposed to be there. Like me.
“Melody, I see you,” the sweet voice called out again, its tones vibrating against the walls. I tried to keep running, but my feet were rooted to the ground. Panic built up in my chest. They had me. I struggled against their magic as it paralyzed my legs, but it did no good. They were getting closer. I tried to calm myself down. Focus, I urged my mind, willing it to combat the fear that the specter had begun spreading through my veins. Slowly, as I became more in control of myself, my heart returned to its normal patter. This is what the order had taught us. Never let fear get the better of you.
A pale white form materialized in front of my eyes. This one was female. Her sharp teeth glistened in the moonlight, her beady black eyes standing out against her white skin and hair. She traced my face with a long finger. I breathed slowly, ignoring her touch, desensitizing myself from her cold presence.
“I believe you have something of ours. We’d love for you to return it,” she purred, stepping back.
I could feel the red ruby burning hotly against my leg. Something about it was comforting and suddenly, I no longer felt under the specter’s control. I replied, “No. It wasn’t yours in the first place.”
The specter looked insulted. She came inches within my face her eyes hardening. “Give it to me. Now,” she commanded, her voice losing its smooth tone.
“No,” I said, keeping my voice strong.
She looked angry now, and she came closer to me. “Well, it’s too bad. I already ate today. But I guess a little more nourishment won’t do any harm.”
My eyes widened. Where the hell is Merlyn? If he doesn’t get here soon, even if I do get away, I’m screwed. I waited a few more moments as the specter reached out to touch my arm with an extremely pointy fingernail. I shook off the shivers that the specter sent across my body, trying to focus on the lessons I had been taking the past few months with the order. Now was the time to act. I delved deep into my mind and tugged at my novice powers. Just as she was about to scratch me with her poisonous nail, I pushed the blue string of magic out of my fingertips, towards the creature. The specter cried out in pain as a shield of magic came between us.
Suddenly, a black silhouette popped out of the darkness next to me. This figure was different than the specter. It didn’t float, instead it seemed to have trouble untangling itself from the trash cans.
“Melody, we have to get out of here,” it cried. I knew it was Merlyn. The scardey-cat. Always came out at the last possible moment.
“Easy for you to say,” I grimaced pushing my magic against the specter’s image. Suddenly, my magic faltered, the specter breaking through the barrier.
I fell back onto the hard ground. This wasn’t supposed to happen, it never happened. I was shocked, my arms shaking. Specters had little magic of their own; they could barely measure up to that of mages. Merlyn grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet as the specter again began its approach. She looked angry, her white skinned burned with patches of red where she had been scorched by my shield.
“Let’s get out of here,” Merlyn whispered.
I shook his arm off. “The captain wanted a prisoner this time. If we don’t get one, it’ll be the devil to pay,” I snapped.
Merlyn stepped behind me. He was never good with magic. He was lucky to have me to take care of all the dirty work. The specter circled me. I delved deeper this time into my power reserves and spiraled out a whirlwind of blue heat from my palms. The specter fought against it, trying to escaped the wire that I now tried to twist around her figure. She clawed away from it, but I pushed harder. Finally, it encapsulated the specter, forming a cage like barrier around her ghostly form.
“We ready now?” Merlyn asked and I rolled my eyes. The sounds of other specters came screeching through the night. I didn’t think it was wise to stick around and wait for them.
“Time to leave,” He grabbed onto my arm and with a pop we disappeared from the night. Moments later I found myself at the center of the order’s headquarters. I shook my head. The only thing that Merlyn was good for was teleporting.
I looked up to find that I was surrounded by the other members. The captain, a middle-aged man with a scar that ran from his left eye down to his chin, looked up from his paperwork.
“Do you have it?” he asked. The buzzing in the room fell silent. I nodded and approached his desk. I placed the captured specter and the red necklace on his desk.
He nodded, “Well done novice, well done.” Everyone waited with baited breath as he turned toward the woman. “How do you use the stone?” he asked, his voice stern.
The specter smiled, baring her teeth and then cried out in pain as the barbed blue wire of her cage scraped against her arm. “What makes you think I’ll tell you,” she snickered.
The captain frowned. “Threatening you with death might do the trick.”
The specter just scoffed, flipping her white hair over her shoulder. “I’m already dead my dear.”
The captain swore under his breath. He shot a purple glare of light into the cage. The spirit gnashed its teeth. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with,” the specter said, its beady eyes turning a bright red. The specter turned to face me, waved her fingers in my direction, and said, “I’ll be seeing you again, Melody. You can count on it.” She wrapped a poisonous nail around the wire
“I’ll beat you wherever and whenever you disgusting bottom-feeder,” I replied, glaring at our captor.
She nodded, “We'll see.” Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain scrape against my arm and I fell to the floor. The specter had managed to yank away part of the magic cage with her nail, tearing a piece of my magic from me. My arm bled from the wound, and I stood up, trying to repair the breech. Without warning the specter disappeared in a puff of smoke.
“Damn it,” the captain cried out, seeing that the specter was gone. “We needed her.” He turned around to glare at me. “How are we going to find out how to use the stone now?”
I turned, surprised. He stepped towards me, his crooked nose inches away from my own. “Since you managed to anger it and somehow enabled it to get away, you’re the one who’s going to figure out how to use the necklace,” he hissed in my ear.
My heart dropped into my stomach for the second time today. “But…” I protested, but he silenced me with his hand.
“If you don’t, we’ll expel you from the order,” he said. “Consider this your challenge.” He placed the stone into my outstretched hand and turned to address the rest of the group. “Return to your rounds,” he ordered, sending two of the older protectors out into the night. Everyone began to return to their tasks, the room returning to its original busy state.
I swallowed hard and looked down at the jewel. Something, very much like a connection, pulled me towards it. I shrugged the feeling off and secured the chain around my neck. Merlyn came towards me, shaking his head.
“What do you want?” I snapped, making my way out of the headquarters and into the barracks.
He looked surprised at my outburst, but he had been around me enough to be able to deal with my heated temper. “Does this mean I won’t get promoted?” he finally asked, looking up at me from under his square spectacles.
I shoved him in the shoulder. “That’s all you can think about, Mr. Teleportation?” I cried out, exasperated.
Merlyn just shrugged, “It was worth a try. It’s been such a strange night I think we deserve the promotion to higher levels because of our bravery.”
“You mean my bravery, right?” I took off my boots, placing them underneath my bed.
Merlyn ignored my comment. It was always better off for him not to argue with me. “It’s just that specters never were able to cross the shield line before, you know? Or break out of magicked cages.”
I nodded, turning around to face him. “It was weird. They even knew my name,” I added pulling down the sheets of my bed.
Merlyn hesitated but then just shrugged his shoulders again, “Well, good luck. Get some rest, I’m about to pass out I’m so tired.”
“Yeah, from standing and watching me save your sorry little butt, huh?” I said to his retreating back. He just shook his head, disappearing through the stone archway.
I pulled my tunic off and put on my night shirt. I placed my knife back into the waistband of my shorts. Surprise specter attacks were never frequent on our hovel, but tonight it seemed as though anything could happen.
I slipped under the covers, the sounds of the order, those who worked around the clock, recede into the distance. I slipped into darkness. |
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"Fou et tellement evidente, que je n'trouve plus de sens. A ce jeu excitant. Si bon mais si lassant. Tu aime me manipuler. Et J'en aime faire autant. Nous sommes tout deux victime. De ce doux jeu d'amants." -- Ce Jeu par Yelle
Last edited by scasha on Sat May 10, 2008 7:06 pm; edited 3 times in total |
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