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This thread was created on May 5, 2008
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Topic ID: 29788
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Fangala the Flying Feline
Novelist
Gender: 
Age: 16
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 273
Reviews: 216
Country: 20% in the present, 80% in my head
300 Points
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 Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 8:59 pm Post subject: |
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Hurray, I'm back!
Sorry I haven't posted anything for ages, but now that I've finally returned, guess who's the first person's portfolio I check? That's right, BBB, it's yours!
Now, onto the crit. Quite frankly, I'm stunned. Your poetry has evolved and blossomed like crazy, just like everything else you write. You just keep getting better. This piece flowed smoothly the whole way through, while doing an excellent job of conveying emotion.
| Quote: |
Do you remember a childish song or
those days at the park?
Can you recall firefly kisses and
when we stayed out till dark? |
This stanza doesn't work for me. The rhyme seems forced.
But other than that, this was beautiful! Is there any chance of you writing a song for one of my stories? |
_________________
"Hey look! A black shooting star!"
"That's no star...that's Fangala!" |
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| This thread was created on May 5, 2008 |
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