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This thread was created on May 2, 2008
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Topic ID: 29637
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KJ
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 Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 7:18 pm Post subject: Needles and Roses - Chap. 4 |
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| I'm currently still working on Chapters 2 & 3 still, so this should tide you over while I'm editing. Enjoy. |
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JFW1415
AKA Future Mrs. Bear or Jellybean (Jelly)
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| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 9:10 pm Post subject: |
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I have finally finished!
This review took a while. I put in 95 comments! But it was amazing. I'm pointing out the tinest things to make it even better.
This is just insanely good, something I very rarely say.
Too bad I get so few points for adding an attachment. 
Good luck, and happy editing!
~JFW1415 |
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kitty15
Your friendly neighbourhood kitten
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| Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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This is developing very well, your characterization is wonderful, the emotions are portrayed beautifully and the plot is structured well, it fits in very snugly with your narration. However, you do still need to work on historic setting just a little. At times, it's hard to imagine where the characters are and I find myself placing it in modern settings. Little details like clothing and furniture can really help a reader to imagine everything. Good work. Main file sent through pm as usual,
Heather xx |
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Esmé
consider rephrasing
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| Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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Well, I just read the above and it struck me that kitty is right. At some points I did indeed not feel that it was the 1800's. How that can be cured kitty already said, so I'll not repeat her, but it really is important.
Anyway, here is my review.
Cheers,
Esme |
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| This thread was created on May 2, 2008 |
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