Topic ID: 28353
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yoha_ahoy
yoyo Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 28 Aug 2005 Posts: 938 Reviews: 379 Country: living through my third eye 300 Points
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 12:22 am Post subject: A Sonnet to My Moose |
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A Sonnet to My Moose
A courtship with my antlered friend,
this, my love at first sight.
I know my obsession won’t end.
I prevent it with all my might.
A tall, bellowing, brown, antlered moose,
my singular of many meese.
And why shouldn’t the plural of moose
be the same as goose, whose plural is geese?
Because, when I decide to choose
my moose over meese, he will be
the tallest and loudest with big hooves,
and he will offer his back to little me
So that I may use his antlers for rest,
and be his Queen of the Forest
Kind of silly and imperfect I know. But I love meese. ^_^ So I wrote a sonnet to them. It isn't a Shakespearian sonnet though. I had a hard enough time getting everything to sort of rhyme let alone trying to get iambic pentameter in there. By the way, the typical rhyme scheme of a sonnet (such as this one) is ABAB, CDCD, EFEF, GG. So tada! One of Yoyo's *few* rhymig poems. ^_^
~Yoyo  |
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Flemzo
Now With 50% More Flem!! Novelist

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 31 Dec 2006 Posts: 440 Reviews: 136 Country: United States 350 Points
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 12:50 am Post subject: Re: A Sonnet to My Moose |
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Cute, but not quite a sonnet because there's no iambic pentameter. But I commend you on trying to rhyme throughout. Like I said, it's a cute poem, and kind of funny, but it's not quite a sonnet.
| yoha_ahoy wrote: |
And why shouldn’t the plural of moose
be the same as goose, whose plural is geese? |
I agree. The English language is so weird sometimes...
I really couldn't find anything wrong spelling-wise, grammar-wise, or anything else-wise, so great job! You made it easy for me to crit!
kf |
_________________ "How strange life is. How fragile. You never know what stunning development lies around the next corner."
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Nightfall
Junior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 05 Feb 2008 Posts: 31 Reviews: 24
300 Points
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 7:18 pm Post subject: Moose! |
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| Meese make great subject matter! I really liked this poem; awesome work! |
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Snoink
Snuggly Writer of Legend

 Gender:  Age: 20 Joined: 02 Apr 2005 Posts: 8725 Reviews: 2139 Country: USA 2087 Points
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:39 pm Post subject: |
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LOL.
I love its digressions.  |
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Adnamarine
Gotta get up from here Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 12 Jan 2007 Posts: 704 Reviews: 134 Country: What are you, my stalker? 1386 Points
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 10:33 pm Post subject: |
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That is adorable:) I love it!
Meese... now I'll be calling mooses meese for the rest of my days:) lol
Eah, who cares about iambic pentimeter? This is great!
*stars*
Keep writing,
*adna* |
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Summerless
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 28 Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Posts: 187 Reviews: 136 Country: United States 300 Points
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Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:33 am Post subject: |
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Hahaha, I'm reviewing your sonnet since you reviewed mine. First of all, it was humorous. I love the "meese" and "geese" part. I'm adding it to my imaginary dictionary.
Sorry for such a short review. I am not an expert on sonnets. Thank you for reviewing mine, and your first sonnet if swell.
Hope to read more writing from you in the future.
~ Summer |
_________________ Beguile the loveless, the lifeless, the ruthless;
Shy away Snow of Winter for Day is endless. |
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LucidDreamerLost
Junior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 21 Joined: 19 Nov 2006 Posts: 16 Reviews: 12
300 Points
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Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:56 am Post subject: |
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| this was the most perfect thing I've ever read, haha. thanks for it. |
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