Topic ID: 28124
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JabberHut
The One and Only! Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 17 Joined: 04 Nov 2006 Posts: 942 Reviews: 451 Country: Whats you wants? My blood? Gets yer own! 673 Points
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Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 12:15 am Post subject: I'm Hungry... |
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Yodles!
What I critique:
--Fiction of all kinds [Action/Adv, Fan, Fantasy, Historical, Non, Science, Other]
**This is my strongest area
--Poetry of all kinds [Dramatic, Lyric, Narrative, Other]
**I tend to do alright, though there's a chance you'll get nothing constructive from me
What I don't critique:
--Scripts
**I've been asked to do simple reviews for plot and such, so don't be shy, but fair warning
--Lyrics
**Again, I've been asked to do reviews for mood and wording, so don't be shy, just an even greater risk ^^
--Art
**I guess I'm able to say 'your fingers look like hotdogs' but definitely not my cup of tea
--Photography
**It's at the bottom of the list for a reason.
My basic critique for Fiction includes:
--Grammar: This is the top dog right here. I'm a grammar nut and catch those mistakes very easily, even if I don't study every single word/sentence.
--Characters: Once in a while I'll include this.
--Plot: I'll comment if it doesn't make sense to me, but otherwise don't expect it to come up without your asking
--Reality: Even in Fantasy, it should be somewhat realistic.
--Description: I should be able to picture it somewhat, if not completely.
--Anything you specifically ask, I'll look over.
My basic critique for Poetry includes:
--Grammar: Again, top dog. Even in poetry, punctuation and grammar are important.
--Rhythm: More if it's a rhyming poem. I have a built-in metronome.
--Poetic Devices: I don't look out completely for these, but they do enhance your poetry somewhat. I'll mention it if it's there, but don't expect it otherwise.
--Mood: Mentioned if it's a more deep poem, but this may pop up
--Anything you specifically ask, I'll look over.
In line for critique:
Metal Gear Solid 5: Revenge of the Patriots (Prologue) -- Boon
Life: In Which Mistakes Are Made. -- PenguinAttack
Legend of Zelda: The Wings of Darkness -- Gladius
Poisoned Roses--Chapter 8 -- ashleylee
Poisoned Roses--Chapter 9 -- ashleylee
Poisoned Roses--Chapter 10 -- ashleylee
Poisoned Roses--Chapter11 -- ashleylee
Poisoned Roses--Chapter 12 -- ashleylee
Poisoned Roses--Chapter 13 -- ashleylee
Run, Fat Boy, Run! Day 7 -- BigBadBear
The Paranormal -- BigBadBear
Critiques finished:
Disturbia-Chapter 2 -- Derek
I've Come So Far -- OverEasy
The ongoing Adventures of Bib Fickle -- Black Cat Sachiko
The Possession -- BigBadBear
Hit me with your best shot!
**Heads up! I will not reply on this thread if you post your link requesting a critique. It makes it easier for me to note if there's a new post or not by looking at the number of replies on this thread rather than having to come in every time. I know, it sounds like I'm a lazy bum, but it makes me feel better.
Don't be alarmed, though. I'm more than happy to give your critique, and the critique should come within two days. If it takes longer, it will be due to a busy schedule and I haven't gotten to posting it yet. It'd be sitting on my desk 'til I get to it.  |
_________________ "I want to puke happiness all over you people..." –Suz on finishing Death Machine
"WWJD: What Would Jabber Do?" -- Jabber
CIA -- Join today!
Recruiting all WoWers! -- Join today!
Last edited by JabberHut on Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:39 pm; edited 145 times in total |
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Audy
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 10 Nov 2007 Posts: 156 Reviews: 53 Country: USA 300 Points
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Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 12:55 am Post subject: |
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I've got a new poem up
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic27934.html
I love your critiques, Jabbs ^_^ One of these days I'm going to pay you back, just ask.
Anyway...yeah I suppose it's kind of deep. Actually, it's more subtle than anything else. There's something major wrong with it, but I can't point my finger at it.  |
_________________ "When writing a novel, that's pretty much entirely what life turns into: 'House burned down. Car stolen. Cat exploded. Did 1500 easy words, so all in all it was a pretty good day.'"
-- Neil Gaiman |
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OverEasy
*looks good in pink* Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 01 Jan 2008 Posts: 779 Reviews: 122 Country: The Lovely Hills of BubbleYum! 200 Points
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JFW1415
Team SPEW Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 1253 Reviews: 353 Country: USA 450 Points
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 12:15 am Post subject: |
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Think you could critique this one? I'll love you if you do!
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic28301.html
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA.
In response to hearing my new story idea: "Aunt April": Oookaaay. You are one sick little puppy aren't you? |
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omgafilangi
Senior Writer

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 10 Jan 2008 Posts: 164 Reviews: 66 Country: the twilight zone 300 Points
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Dreamer
Living up to her name Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 15 Joined: 11 Dec 2006 Posts: 640 Reviews: 131 Country: 3781 Mars Ave, Luna, Milky Way. ( I moved) 440 Points
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 9:20 pm Post subject: |
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Hungry, you say?
Food.
I'd be very, very grateful if you did this one. Be warned, however: it's a Creative Writing Assignment. >.> |
_________________ "They told you that dreamers were never achievers, it's too far up to the sky. The higher you reach, the harder you'll fall, well I say that's a lie." ~ Quamba Zoo |
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JFW1415
Team SPEW Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 1253 Reviews: 353 Country: USA 450 Points
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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*Poke* Are we allowed to ask for two? If not, ignore this, but I do love your critiques...
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic28391.html
Thanks!
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA.
In response to hearing my new story idea: "Aunt April": Oookaaay. You are one sick little puppy aren't you? |
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Kylan
Maverick! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 1036 Reviews: 252 Country: USA 148 Points
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Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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Hey there Jabber!
You may or may not have noticed, but a rewrite of Honor #1 is up. Maybe for the sake of old times, you could take a look at it? That would make me infinately happy .
Link = http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic28646.html
Thanks,
-Kylan |
_________________ "'At's the shtuff! Give the friggin' world back to the friggin' people!"
~ Kurt Vonnegut
Got YWS? |
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chocoholic
Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 31 May 2007 Posts: 1614 Reviews: 516 Country: Raxacoricofallapatorius 1605 Points
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:02 am Post subject: |
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I know you said you don't really do lyrics, but I'd love anything you can give me.
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic28448.html
If you can't, though, it's fine. |
_________________ *Don't expect to see me around much in the next couple of weeks. School has started again, and it'll be a couple of weeks before I've settled in. If you've asked me for a critique, you will get it, but not for a little while. Sorry* |
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Kylan
Maverick! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 1036 Reviews: 252 Country: USA 148 Points
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 1:37 am Post subject: |
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Another for old time's sake, perhaps?
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic28947.html
-Kylan |
_________________ "'At's the shtuff! Give the friggin' world back to the friggin' people!"
~ Kurt Vonnegut
Got YWS? |
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JFW1415
Team SPEW Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 1253 Reviews: 353 Country: USA 450 Points
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Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:25 am Post subject: |
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http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic28900.html
Revised version of He's Just Human. It's due soon - can you give it a quick glance?
Thanks so much!
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA.
In response to hearing my new story idea: "Aunt April": Oookaaay. You are one sick little puppy aren't you? |
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Kylan
Maverick! Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 16 Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 1036 Reviews: 252 Country: USA 148 Points
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Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:55 am Post subject: |
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Not many more of these left, Jabster
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post352581.html
Anyway, if there's anything I could do for you, just give me a shout.
-Kylan |
_________________ "'At's the shtuff! Give the friggin' world back to the friggin' people!"
~ Kurt Vonnegut
Got YWS? |
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OverEasy
*looks good in pink* Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 01 Jan 2008 Posts: 779 Reviews: 122 Country: The Lovely Hills of BubbleYum! 200 Points
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Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 3:33 am Post subject: |
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Jab Dear,
I know I am always asking... but maybe another?
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29341.html
Please and Thank You!
OverEasy |
_________________ If I can write one line of one story that touches someone in some way. Then my one dream in life has come true. |
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JFW1415
Team SPEW Master of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 14 Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 1253 Reviews: 353 Country: USA 450 Points
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Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:26 pm Post subject: |
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'Cause you love me so much, Jabbs.
Part One
Part Two
Thanks! And bug me whenever if you'd like one!
~JFW1415 |
_________________ Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. -Oscar Wilde
Join the CIA.
In response to hearing my new story idea: "Aunt April": Oookaaay. You are one sick little puppy aren't you? |
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OverEasy
*looks good in pink* Speaker of the Forum

 Gender:  Age: 18 Joined: 01 Jan 2008 Posts: 779 Reviews: 122 Country: The Lovely Hills of BubbleYum! 200 Points
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Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 12:32 am Post subject: |
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Hello dear
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic29591.html
Prologue for you!
Please and Thank You
OverEasy |
_________________ If I can write one line of one story that touches someone in some way. Then my one dream in life has come true. |
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